Pirate Destiny
by dancingknight15
Summary: Himeno is captured onto the Pretear, the pirate ship commanded by Captain Sasame. Her life is spared on a whim of Sasame's and the first mate, Hayate's. Follow her adventures on the Pretear as she learns the truth of the past. AU and contains slash
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Bold Attack

Himeno

"They've raised their colors, captain!" my first mate called out to me from the bow of my small ship, the Awayuki. I could feel my pulse racing with excitement and fear. I would finally be sure of my target.

"What are they?" I cried back.

"The devil's black with the cursed skull and all!" he called out.

I felt a wicked smile come across my face. I faced the sharp, cutting wind head on and urged the small crew of my pinnacle towards the dark ship at the edge of the horizon. We were too slow to escape the sloop that was racing towards us. A head on offense—as risky as it would be—was better than a useless attempt to escape. And escape was the last option on my mind now. I had been waiting for this moment—the moment to strike back at the pirate scum that had ruined my father's business.

"They're approaching towards us at 15 knots, captain!" our young cabin boy called out from the crow's nest. Perfect. My pinnacle was bait enough to draw in those greedy pirates. A small ship that looked defenseless. I would show them how defenseless it truly was.

"Good. Let's get the guns ready!" I cried out.

My crew was a meager five of us: the first mate, the navigator, the purser, the cabin boy and myself. This was all that was left of my father's merchant company after he had disappeared. But it was enough for today.

"Guns pointing starboard, captain!"

I took the wheel and turned us, so that we could tack our way against the wind towards the hell ship.

"Ship approaching at 20 knots!"

"Fire!" I called out.

It was too soon for any shot to hit its mark, but I knew it would be a clear signal that we would not go down without a fight. In response, the sloop fired its own cannon, which landed only a little shy of my tiny ship. I wanted to laugh at how quickly they had responded, but caught the fearful eyes of my crew and suppressed my crazed glee.

I ran across deck, feeling my blood burn with rage. We were in close enough range that I could see the brutish faces of my enemy. My eyes caught the dark blue eyes of a solemn, well-dressed man. Probably the captain or first mate at least. I glared at him and bared my teeth. He would be my first target.

They fired another shot, which hit its home target. I held my footing and drew my gun. My first mate drew his sword, while my poor purser huddled in the aft of the ship, as far from the action as possible.

"Get Carin and yourself on the escape boat," I called out to my navigator, who had come up from below.

"I won't leave you, captain!" they both cried out in unison. Loyal to the end. I was grateful for their sentiment—they had been the only ones who had stayed with me after my family's merchant business had fallen apart, after all—but now they would only weigh me down. I pointed my pistol at them.

"This is an order!" I commanded, releasing the lock and preparing my finger on the trigger. They looked pained, as if my actions had somehow betrayed them.

"Ay, captain!" they responded, giving me a salute before getting into the escape boat. I watched them row away from the ship, giving them a quick nod of thanks before turning back to the fight.

My first mate and cabin boy ran to the cannons and continued the unsuccessful volley of cannon fire. I joined their efforts, firing at the pirates daring to throw anchors towards my ship. There were too many. I watched as the anchors held purchase on our railing.

"Here they come," I cried.

I raced forward, shooting blindly, trying to avoid the sharp tips of the pirates' cutlasses. I felt alive, my world finally in focus after months of confusion. My bullets hit their target, weakening my opponents long enough for my first mate to finish them with his sword. Crazy as this had been, I began to feel an elevation that we could win.

I flashed my first mate a rare smile, which he returned. Back to back, we hit pirate after pirate, drunk on adrenaline. But they were too many. For every one man down, there were at least three to take his place.

Without further instructions, my cabin boy had decided to continue firing the cannons. At point blank range, he did not miss—but our enemy had not ceased fire, either. I felt the entire ship rock as a cannon hit deep into the underbelly of the ship. At this rate, we would sink before we had the chance to put up a good fight.

Another gun fired, and its bullet hit my first mate's upper arm, causing him to drop his sword in pain. He clutched his arm and struggled to pick up his sword again. As I watched the blood dripping from his arm, I felt myself exploding with anger. So this was what it meant to see red, I thought, while flailing his sword uselessly. I cursed myself for never having learned swordsmanship. I felt a sword rip through my weak defenses, slashing me on the chest and arm, and watched as my pistol dropped from my now blood-soaked hand. An instant later, my first mate and I were at the mercy of both sword and gunpoint.

The owner of the gun that had shot my first mate parted the crowd and made his presence known. He had brilliant silver-blond hair with deep-set purple eyes that seemed crazed with a thirst for blood, but tainted with a cold intelligence that made my skin crawl. He wore a fine red velvet suit with an elegant cap and a sizable feather. The lace ruff around his neck spoke to elegance and good breeding, but I knew better. The way he smiled at my defeat made me sick.

"Well, well, well," he said softly, "You have given us trouble today. How shall I reward you?"

His crew laughed while his gun pointed at my head. I refused to drop the sword and stood protecting my first mate. The pirate captain walked towards me and drew his sword. With one quick, deft movement, he threw my sword aside. I stood my ground, eyes blazing.

"Impressive," he said in a low voice, taking my chin in his filthy hands. His smile, his silky voice, and the way he surveyed me sickened me, "You look no older than a child, yet you had the audacity to attack my ship…Now what shall I do with you?"

"Get your filthy hands off me," I growled, my pride rising to the surface.

His eyes instantly clouded and he frowned, pulling back his hand.

"You will learn respect," he said sharply.

Before I had time to realize what had happened, he had fired again, and this time hit my first mate through the center of his head. I watched, horrified as my first mate fell to the deck, his eyes lifeless even before he finished falling. My eyes stung with tears, but I held them back.

"Well, see. I don't like being talked back to, you understand?" he said with a smug smile on his face.

I cried out and punched the pirate that was holding my arms back. He let go with a yelp of surprise, allowing me to rush forward to try to strike the captain. From nowhere, a pair of hands stopped me and pinned me to the deck.

"Ah, Hayate. What do you think of this boy? I quite like his boldness," the captain murmured.

I looked up and saw the man with deep blue eyes gaze at me with no emotion. I trembled under his clasp, but he would not yield. After a moment's pause, I heard him reply in a low voice, "We could use a new cabin boy."

I heard the captain chuckle, a sound that made me want to vomit. I struggled in vain against Hayate's grip, but his iron grip on me did not relax.

"If he has caught your interest as well, I have no reason to kill him. Do as you please with him," the captain muttered to Hayate. Hayate nodded, pulling me roughly to my feet and binding my hands in a swift motion. I felt his gun in the middle of my back, and watched helplessly as my cabin boy was thrown overboard. I prayed that he would be able to reach the escape boat that my navigator and purser were on.

"Sink this pathetic ship once you've taken what you will. Kei, see to it that what little loot there is, is split amongst the crew. My work is done," the captain ordered and turned on his heel.

"No!" I cried out—my father's last ship! I struggled out of Hayate's grasp for a moment, before he pinned me back down. He placed a gag on me and covered my eyes, leaving me only with my ears to hear my father's last treasure—the Awayuki—destroyed with cannon fire.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: To Become a Pirate

Himeno

"Strip," Hayate commanded as he removed my blindfold and bindings. I stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You're not deaf, are you? I asked you to remove your clothes," he repeated. As he removed the gag from my mouth, my jaw dropped. He was asking me to undress? In front of the entire crew? Did these pirates have no sense of decency? Of course they didn't, I thought bitterly—especially after what they did to my first mate. The sight of my first mate, bullet through his head, eyes blank and lifeless filled my mind. I felt a burning rage at the thought of the captain of this ship—the white haired, demon-eyed monster.

I didn't have much time to ponder over my first mate's death, however. I was faced with a serious predicament at the moment. The first mate and quartermaster Hayate crossed his arms in irritation.

"When I give you an order, you follow it. Do you understand?" he asked in a flat voice. I could see hints of impatience tinting his jet blue eyes. I leveled my gaze right back at him. There was no way I was removing my clothing here—not with all these lustful, dirty eyes gazing at me.

"Privacy?" I demanded in a voice of authority. I half expected him to strike me for my impudence—he was the first mate of a ship led by that monster—but instead he nodded. I gazed at him in shock, and looked around to see the shocked eyes of the crew around me as well. Apparently his leniency with me was as unusual as I thought it was. Worse, I had no way of understanding what was going through his head. He seemed completely different from the rest of the bunch—but he was probably no better. He was a pirate, after all. Which I was soon to become, I realized, following him to a secluded cabin.

"This is my personal quarters. Now undress," he commanded, and folded his hands.

"I would appreciate if you'd leave the room," I replied. He frowned.

"I'm not risking any concealed weapons. If you don't strip in the next few seconds, I'll remove your clothing for you," he growled. Deciding that the former was the better option than the latter, I turned around and removed my shirt. I froze as I felt the first mate's hands on my shoulders. This was not happening. I spun around to free myself of his grip and watched his eyes widen in surprise.

After a moment of confusion, I realized that I was wearing nothing but the bandage that I used to bind my chest. Thanks to the attack I had received earlier, the bandage had torn, revealing one of my two unmistakable female appendages. I felt the blood rush to my face in embarrassment, and I quickly turned around, arms around my chest.

"Y-you're a woman?" Hayate finally said after a long silence. He sounded genuinely surprised—and embarrassed as well. I was surprised by his latter reaction. Didn't pirates normally revel in pleasures of the flesh?

"Yes," I snapped, "Now would you mind leaving the room to let me change?"

He didn't answer immediately, and I thought it was because he had left the room. But as I started to turn around, he spoke.

"Do you have any idea…" he began. I met his gaze, demanding with my expression that he leave. Something flashed across his face. As quickly as the emotion flashed across his features, it was gone.

He started walking towards the door, and I thought that he was finally giving me some privacy. Instead, he turned right when he reached the door, grabbing a set of clothes and throwing them in my direction.

"Wear these. Here are some bandages as well," he said, throwing a roll of bandages in my direction, "Make sure to clean the wound with the ointment on my desk. You are not to leave without my permission."

With that, he headed out the door. I could hear the door click. He had locked me in, as expected. I held the bandages in my hand, surprised at his actions. He had been unusually kind to me. I shook the thought out of my mind. I could not drop my guard here of all places.

I hissed as I felt the sting of the ointment on my skin. And without intending to, tears began to fall from my eyes. My first mate, my father's ship—I had lost too much. I wiped the tears away angrily. I would make sure these sacrifices would be worth it. Biting my lip, I wrapped fresh bandages around the wound and around my chest, careful to tie it tighter than usual. The captain and the first mate—and apparently the rest of the crew as well—had mistaken me for a boy. Which was just as well. I could avoid unwanted attention this way. I just had to figure out what to do about the first mate, now that he knew that I was female.

I changed into the new clothes, which seemed like they had belonged to the previous cabin boy. And waited. Thoughts of my family began to fill my mind as I waited in that room. My silly and carefree father, who had always been optimistic and smiling—never losing hope, even as my mother fell ill and passed away, even as my sister Mawata committed suicide—he continued on.

Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat, I turned to examine the room. I needed to occupy my mind. It was a typical first mate's room**, **not as spacious as the captain's quarters, but roomy enough. The bareness of the room, as well as how clean it was surprised me. It was almost as if he spent little time inside of his own quarters. My eyes surveyed his desk. His logbook contained thorough notes on the weather, the crew, and the plunders of the past. The neat handwriting and writing style suggested an educated background. Probably some bastard son of a duke or something, I decided, flipping through the logbook.

I paused on an entry of the capture of a passenger ship on route to London. So they hadn't always plundered in the Caribbean. My eyes narrowing, I began to turn to the next page to read the detailed account of the capture when the door swung open. I returned the book hastily to the desk. Hayate walked in, eyes narrowing when he realized that I had peered through his stuff.

"Did anyone teach you about privacy?" he sneered. With sharp eyes—the eyes of a commander I now realized—he ordered me to follow him. Wordlessly, I followed him to back on deck. The crew had resumed their daily activities, maintenance, cleaning, bringing the loot aboard—what had been once mine—and paid no further attention to Hayate or me.

I was surprised at the efficiency and orderliness of the ship. It was almost as if I had stepped onto a navel ship rather than a pirate ship. Perhaps fear of the demon captain had whipped the crew into shape. The ship itself was kept in good order. The rigging was taut against the mast, the sails fully unfurled to catch the wind. I was standing near the mizzenmast. The ship was a beauty, for sure. As a daughter of a merchant, I had come to love the sea and ships. For a Brigantine, she was on the smaller side—probably adjusted to be optimal for both speed and power—but she was still large enough to hold a crew of at least a hundred men.

"The Pretear," Hayate said gruffly. I snorted. Trust a group of lusting pirates to name their ship such a delicate, feminine name.

"Your duties include the following: cleaning the deck, assisting the boatswain with inspection of the deck and inventory, assisting the carpenter with any and all repairs, and assisting the master gunner with maintenance of the weaponry. In addition, you will assist the cook in preparing daily meals. You are not to deal with the rigging or sails, nor navigation or steering. Do I make myself clear?" he explained.

I nodded. Basically my position would be the lowest possible, at the beck and call of those superior to me. I was grateful that I had grown up around ships. There would be little new technical skills I would need to learn, which would give me ample opportunity to learn about the workings of the Pretear and its crew.

Hayate walked me over to a man who was well dressed in a golden-tinged suit. His collared, button down shirt appeared to be made of silk and was partially covered by a yellow embroidered vest, which was covered by a solid yellow colored topcoat. His breeches were sleek and yellow-hued as well, ending in knee-high boots of light brown. He turned to face us, his golden eyes surveying me coldly. Only his long, curly golden hair suggested any trace of femininity to his features.

"Another mouth to feed, I presume?" he said calmly, jotting down notes with a feathered quill. Hayate gave him a curt nod, suggesting that this man's rank was below Hayate's own.

"This is Kei, the second mate and master. In Captain Sasame and my absence, his word is law," Hayate explained. I nodded, watching Kei with the same caution he observed me.

"As the cabin boy, your share will be ½ of any prize. The rules aboard this ship are as follows: lights out at eight pm, no gambling or dice, desertion or shirking of duty is forbidden, any quarrel with another crew member can only be decided by sword or pistol on shore only, and with the exception of the wish of the captain, no women are allowed aboard for any circumstance. Failure to comply with these rules will result in immediate execution—or if the captain so desires—by marooning or imprisonment. Is this clear?" Kei explained, reading off his notebook.

I nodded, fear flooding my system. I understood the look Hayate had given me earlier when he discovered that I was a woman. If my true gender were revealed aboard this ship—I would most likely be facing an untimely death. I suddenly felt Hayate's power over me. His knowledge of my gender gave him the power to choose if I lived or died. I felt his hand on my shoulder and flinched. If Kei noticed my reaction, he said nothing and nodded to Hayate.

Next, he took me below deck. I squinted in the dark, my pulse racing. I was truly at the mercy of the cold quartermaster's will. Why was he keeping me alive, anyway?

"Quit standing around, tulip head," Hayate muttered. I snapped out of my thoughts.

"What did you just call me?" I demanded, my fear temporarily forgotten.

"Your head looks like a tulip, so I called you a tulip head," he said calmly. I placed a hand on my head.

"My head does not look like a tulip!" I retorted, crossing my hands. He turned to stare at me in a way that chilled me. I followed him silently, reminding myself to hold my tongue.

We entered a room full of weapons—swords, cutlasses, pistols, rifles and so on—and gunpowder. In the center of the room sat a man with flaming red and brown hair, sharpening a sword's blade.

"This is Go, master gunner and weaponsmaster. You will assist him in maintenance of the weapons, inventory of the weaponry and shuttling gunpowder from here to the main deck during times of battle," Hayate explained. Go looked up from sharpening his sword and glared at Hayate with pure hatred. When he noticed me, however, his gaze softened.

"New cabin boy?" he asked me. I nodded. He smiled at me in a way that made me want to cry. His smile was kind and gentle, reaching out to me as if we were comrades. Reluctantly, I found myself smiling in return. Pirate or not, he seemed different—he lacked the coldness and ruthlessness I had felt from the captain, Kei and even Hayate. I felt Hayate watching me carefully, and let my smile subside.

"I leave him in your care," Hayate said, turning on his heel. I breathed a sigh of relief as I watching him go, and sank to the ground.

"Here," Go said, handing me a handkerchief. I took it gratefully, not realizing that I had been crying.

"You must be from that ship they just captured. It's not easy losing everything—I should know, I'm a captive here, just like you," Go said, continuing to sharpen the sword. I looked up in surprise.

"You're a captive?" I asked.

"Yep. Hate everyone of these bastards, but well, I guess I'm too much of a coward to go up against that captain," he mused.

I nodded. I could definitely understand that. Though whenever I thought about the captain—I felt more anger than fear.

"Here," he said, tossing the sword he had been sharpened to me, "I've been hearing that you're abysmal with a sword. You may only be a cabin boy, but it won't do you any good not to know how to use a sword. I'll teach ya, whenever I get a chance," Go said.

I gripped the sword tightly, grateful for his kindness. I would learn how to use a sword—and use the same sword to pierce the captain's heart. I would become a pirate—the one thing I despised more than anything else—in order to destroy the one who had killed my first mate. In order to kill Sasame.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: The First Mate

Hayate

I was running. To the limits of my ability, I was running towards him. His kind eyes and innocent smile seemed so far away, but I ran nonetheless. My lungs burning, I kept racing past the gore he had left in his wake in order to reach him. He turned towards me and his smile twisted, the maniacal gleam in his eyes rising to the surface. I understood what the world had done to him and drew my sword. A beautiful woman lay dead at his feet, her night-black hair hiding her face.

She rose to her feet and smiled at me, blood streaming from her neck. I stopped as she transformed into a faceless form. A body without identity. I felt my body go on fire and my chest tighten as I swung my sword. Her head fell to the ground while her body remained like a specter before me. His kind eyes were nowhere to be found…

I cursed as I awoke, blaming my nightmare to the alcohol I had and my lack of sleep last night. Clutching at my throbbing headache, I struggled to regain consciousness. I didn't remember when I had come back to my quarters, or in what state I had been when I did. The night had drained me, and I struggled now to become useful once more.

Sighing, I walked over to the washbasin and struck my face with icy cold water. The shock startled me fully awake. I pulled out my daily log to record the details that I had discussed with Captain Sasame. According to the daily routes that Kei had obtained through the capture of the Awayuki, a large passenger ship would be making its way through the Caribbean, carrying the governor's family and several of his friends. The loot would be at least ten-fold what the Awayuki had provided us, and for Sasame, it would be a capture worthy of his reputation.

My log complete, I rose and felt myself buckle to my knees. I trembled; breathing heavily, I brought myself back to my feet. It was then that I remembered the cabin boy—or should I say cabin girl. After leaving her in Go's care, I returned to my daily routine, overseeing the loot that had been taken from the Awayuki, making sure that it was split properly. The entire time, however, I had been distracted. That—girl—seemed familiar, somehow. I had noticed it when I first saw her on her tiny pinnacle. The glare she had given me—her eyes in particular—had triggered something inside of me.

It was no more than my imagination, most likely. That bit of my imagination had left me with additional baggage that I did not want right now. Regardless, she was now my responsibility—in more ways than one. I turned to gaze at her sleeping form in the hammock I had put up for her. I grimaced as I remembered the previous evening…

I had returned to find Go positioning her hold on a cutlass. I watched in horror as he ran his hands over her hands, arms, legs and finally to her upper body—her chest—fixing her stance as he went. That stupid girl, I thought, my temper flaring.

"That will be enough," I commanded. Go turned to face me, glaring at me with pure hatred. He had never forgiven me, after all. Nor did I expect him to—I was the one who had killed his entire family, after all. And the one who had imprisoned him on his ship.

The girl turned to me, sword in hand.

"What?" she demanded, tightening her grip on the cutlass.

"I've come to take you to your quarters," I said.

"I'll sleep where Go sleeps," she responded. I groaned inwardly. What kind of headache had I picked up?

Go was watched our exchange carefully. Damn that girl, I thought, does she have any common sense? Go slept with the rest of the crew excluding the officers—in a bunk in one large room. She had wanted privacy earlier? She would definitely find no privacy there. I narrowed my eyes.

"When I give you an order, you follow it. Do you understand?" I said in a cold voice, drawing my saber and pointing it at her throat. I saw her flinch slightly and was relieved to know that she understood authority at the very least. I lowered my saber as she returned the cutlass to Go.

I left the room, the girl following me as Go's eyes bore into my back.

"So, where are you taking me?" she asked after following me in silence for a while.

"My quarters," I responded. She stopped in her tracks.

"What?" she said, her eyes wide. I turned in irritation. Did I need to draw my saber on her in order to get her to follow orders for everything?

"You have three options. Stay with Go and sleep in the common quarters with ninety other men. Stay with the captain or stay in my quarters. What suits you best, princess?" I hissed.

She frowned and then nodded, entering my quarters. After looking around, she turned back to face me.

"So, where do I sleep?" she asked.

"The bed, obviously," I said, removing my boots and waistcoat.

"Then where are you sleeping?" she asked. I frowned. Did she even know the meaning of silence? Surprisingly, however, her constant pestering was keeping my usual headache at bay.

"Of course I'm sleeping in my own bed," I replied.

"That means that…there's no way I'm sleeping in the same bed as you!" she exclaimed.

"Fine. Then sleep on the floor for all I care," I responded. I threw a pillow to the floor and headed over to my bed, ignoring the incredulous look the girl was giving me. I wanted to rest. It had been a busy day and I wanted to sleep. I had a suspicion I would be called by the captain for a report soon, and wanted to get some sleep before then.

"You're going to make a woman sleep on the floor! Ah, you pirates have no manners whatsoever," she said, scoffing.

I grimaced and then sat back up. Would she ever shut up? I proceeded to head over to the shelf and pulled out a spare bed sheet and some rope. Clearing the books in the corner, I tied the bed sheet and rope into a makeshift hammock. Hopefully this would be good enough for her.

"There. Happy?" I asked, crawling into bed before she could answer. Pulling the covers over me, I snuck a glace in her direction. She was settling nicely into the hammock, and I saw the ghost of a smile on her face. Thank god, I thought, she's finally not complaining…

As I watched her sleeping form in the morning, I was surprised to discover how young she looked. She was probably no more than fifteen or sixteen at most. She was far from pretty—her short cut hair did make her look more like a boy than a girl. As I watched her, I saw her lip quiver.

Those lips—my mind wandered to another pair of lips. Delicate and gentle, always smiling…except for the one time they had quivered. Sweet lips had uttered such beautiful words and could part to release a melody sweeter than I had ever heard before. Red lips the color of the sunset…

Shaking away my thoughts, I turned away and proceeded to prepare for the morning. As I put on a new pair of breeches and waistcoat, I felt myself sway once more. Dammit, I thought, reaching for a glass. I poured myself some brandy and gratefully felt the liquor stimulate my body as it burned down my throat and into my stomach.

I heard a knock, and realized that my morning meal had been delivered. Opening the door only wide enough to pick up the food, I glanced at the meal with little appetite. Thought I rarely ate in the mornings, food was delivered to me regardless. Usually, I ate my breakfast at a later point in the day, but today—I figured the girl would be hungry when she woke and left the food on my desk.

On second thought, I took out a piece of paper and wrote _Breakfast for you. Not poisoned._ _Stay in cabin until I return. _Content that my preparations were complete, I left my quarters for the early watch.

The moment I was away from her side, the thoughts again bubbled to the surface of my consciousness. The kind eyes and the faceless woman haunted me once again. This time, he was much younger. He was crying, his clothes soiled and crumpled. I felt his body tremble in pain and anger. The pure white hair dirtied brown. The delicate jewel shattered. The more I tried to pick up the shards, the more cuts my fingers received. It was a fruitless effort, but I continued nonetheless for the sake of the kind eyes and innocent smile…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Become Acquainted with a Pirate Crew

Go

When I heard the sounds of battle above, I shrugged and decided that I would only be receiving one more round of beer than usual from the spoils. It didn't sound like a large ship by any means, and I didn't care for that matter. Hopefully the poor blokes on that ship had escaped before these villains had made it aboard. I continued sharpening the blade in my hand, rubbing away the sweat that had formed on my forehead with the back of my hand.

When sounds of the battle died away, I sighed in relief. Finally it was over, and I could get some peace and quiet. I continued my work in silence. I heard some of the crew snicker as they gloated over their capture. Disgusting, I thought, hoping that no one would come into this room.

"Did you see that kid's face when the captain shot 'is mate?" one of them commented, laughing. I frowned, straining to listen out of curiosity despite my rising disgust.

"The Awayuki…what a terrible name for a tiny boat like that," one of them drawled, "Glad it's gonna be at the bottom of the sea."

"And that kid's terrible with a sword. You should've seen 'im, swingin' that cutlass 'round like it was a whip," another remarked, "Dunno why the captain wanted 'im."

So they had taken a captive, after all. Apparently one that couldn't even wield a sword. Another crazy whim of the captain's, I decided. After what seemed like an hour, I heard the door to my room open. Thinking it was Kei here to announce my share, I looked up in anticipation—only to see the first mate next to a new kid. The hostage, I realized, glaring at Hayate. Probably his idea more than Sasame's to bring another hostage aboard.

"This is Go, master gunner and weaponsmaster. You will assist him in maintenance of the weapons, inventory of the weaponry and shuttling gunpowder from here to the main deck during times of battle," Hayate explained to the new kid. I continued to glare at Hayate.

I turned my gaze to the kid and felt my gaze soften. Poor kid, I thought, he looks close to crying.

"New cabin boy?" I asked, trying to give him a reassuring smile. I didn't know if the kid was lucky or not—to be killed quickly during the battle or to be held captive for the rest of one's life aboard this hell ship like me. I felt pity, and a sense of companionship with this new vivid pink-haired boy. I watched him return my smile.

"I leave him in your care," Hayate said, and left the room. I watched the new cabin boy sink to his knees, tears starting to fall from his eyes. No more than two or three years my junior at most, I thought, handing him a handkerchief. He took it gratefully, wiping his eyes with a ferocity I had not expected.

"You must be from that ship they just captured. It's not easy losing everything—I should know, I'm a captive here, just like you," I said, continuing to sharpen the new sword I had picked up. The boy looked up in surprise—and I saw a flicker of companionship flash through his eyes.

"You're a captive?" he asked. I marveled at his voice; it sounded too light for a boy his age, and I found myself wanting to hear it more.

"Yep. Hate everyone of these bastards, but well, I guess I'm too much of a coward to go up against that captain," I reflected.

"Here," I said tossing the sword I had been sharpening to him, "I've been hearing that you're abysmal with a sword. You may only be a cabin boy, but it won't do you any good not to know how to use a sword. I'll teach ya, whenever I get a chance."

He looked at me in gratitude. I almost felt another smile tugging at the corner of my lips. I had been lonely on this ship full of demons, after all. While the previous cabin boy had kept me company from time to time, his attempt to steal an extra of portion of food had landed him stranded on an island. And I was back to being alone.

This boy here seemed like a perfect replacement. I hoped that he would last longer than the last cabin boy. As I watched him hold the sword awkwardly, I chuckled.

"It's not gonna bite, you know," I remarked, standing up, "Hold the hilt with a firmer grip."

He nodded, focusing on the blade.

"For a more defensive stance, hold the blade a little higher than you are now," I said, motioning to him.

"You seem to be really knowledgeable about swords," he remarked, adjusting his stance.

"I was born into a family of blacksmiths. My father in particular specialized in making swords for the navy," I explaining, fixing his hold on the sword. He had such small, slender hands; I wondered whether he had the stamina to survive the harsh work aboard the Pretear.

For the navy…my father would probably be ashamed if he knew I was making swords for pirates now, I thought wryly. I ducked as the cabin boy swung his sword suddenly.

"That weak of a swing ain't gonna get you anywhere," I said, grabbing the sword from him, "More power—and spirit…like this."

I watched as he jumped back in surprise as I brought the sword down.

"Maybe we should work on getting some more muscle on you instead," I commented, flexing my arm. He laughed.

"You're really different from what I imagined a pirate would be like," he said, continuing to laugh. I smiled at the sound of his laughter. How long had it been since I had heard laughter like that? Not since my brother had laughed that way…which thanks to Hayate he would never laugh like that again. Why had he chosen to take me aboard and not my brother?

I shook my head. I was beginning to let my thoughts cycle down the same path again. I decided I would focus on the boy's laughter instead.

"Well, you're different from what I thought a cabin boy would be like," I countered, a smile spread across my face. He laughed again.

"Your name's Go, right?" he asked. I nodded and then paused.

"Never got your lovely name," I remarked. He laughed again.

"It's Him—Awayuki," he said.

"Awayuki, huh? So your boat was named after you?" I asked, turning back to my work.

"No, my boat was named after my father," he explained, watching me heat up a piece of metal.

"Must have been a handsome guy to have such an adorable son," I remarked. He smiled softly.

"I suppose…my mother was always saying that she was married to the most handsome man in the world," Awayuki remarked, looking into the distance with an almost pained look on his face. I felt the sudden need to change the topic.

"How would you like a tour of the ship? I'm sure that stiff Hayate didn't tell you anything more than the basics," I said, getting to my feet. He nodded and followed me out of the room.

As I took him on deck, he immediately surveyed everything with what seemed like a critical eye. I shouldn't underestimate him, I decided. I introduced him to some of the crew that I could tolerate, and was surprised at how quickly he struck conversation with them. Praise of the ship, the good quality it was kept in, the weather and temperament of the Caribbean waters—it was almost as if he was trying to make friends with the crew. Something I had never even considered doing.

Several weeks passed in the same routine—after he had completed his daily duties with the other officers, he would come to help me with the inventory and maintenance of the weapon store. And once our daily duties were over, we would practice. Slender as he was, he was picking up sword fighting quickly, using technique and speed rather than power to his advantage.

I had a suspicion that something more than mere survival was driving him to learn sword fighting at this pace.

One day, after we had concluded our training, he remarked, "Have you ever wanted to escape?"

"Sure, lots of times. But there's no way I'd be left alive if I tried to escape. Not as long as Sasame's captain," I replied.

"What if his power over the ship was weakened?" he countered.

I turned to him sharply in surprise. There was no way—he wasn't suggesting…

"A mutiny," he said simply, putting his sword away.

"Are you crazy?" I said, getting to my feet, "Sasame's hold on this ship is too strong for anything like that to happen. Besides, Kei makes sure there's no quarrel about the splitting of the shares or anything like that."

"I've heard that some of the crew are getting restless. After all, their last capture was my small pinnacle, after all," he commented.

"No," I warned, "get this idea out of your mind. Besides, there's nothing you can do. You're only a cabin boy here."

"Hm, how loyal are Kei and Hayate to Sasame?" he mused aloud, completely ignoring my warnings.

I sighed.

"Well, Kei's always been about profit. It isn't about loyalty, per se. He knows that listening to Sasame's orders results in successful captures—and ample earnings. Sasame is a capable pirate captain, as much as I hate to admit it," I explained.

"So he's pretty neutral," the cabin boy remarked. I nodded, and then continued, "Hayate is another story. He's loyal to Sasame like a pet dog. I don't understand it, but as long as he's around, there's no chance for a mutiny to succeed."

"We shall see," he responded, his eyes narrowing. I watched the determined look in his eyes, and despite my misgivings, felt hope as well. For reasons I did not understand, Awayuki was the only one who could speak to Hayate with such rudeness—and get away with it.

I didn't understand what relationship those two had, but whatever it was, I hoped it was strong enough to break Hayate's devotion to Sasame. Probably just wishful thinking on my part, but still. Awayuki had placed the idea of a mutiny in my head, and try as I might, the possibility of success—however slim—filled my mind.

"Well, starting with Kei doesn't seem like a bad start," I commented. He looked up at me in surprise.

"Kei's quite influential—a smooth talker if you catch my drift. If we could convince him that this mutiny had any profit for him…" I mused.

He truly wasted no time. Within days of our conversation, he had spread rumors amongst the crew that Sasame had taken a larger than usual share from the last capture. When news of the rumors reached Kei, he quickly tracked the rumor to its source—Awayuki.

He confronted Awayuki while he and I were doing our weekly weapon inventory check.

"What a surprise for you to come all the way here," I remarked as I saw Kei walk into the storeroom.

"I'm not here for you today. Cabin boy, come with me," he commanded. I watched as Awayuki's eyes went wide, but as he followed Kei out of the room, he turned to me and gave me a wink. I hoped for his sake that the talk would go well. I waited in silence, and after what seemed like hours, Awayuki returned, closely followed by Kei.

"So it seems you two have a crazy notion of starting a mutiny," he said in a flat voice.

I froze in fear. If Kei reported us to either Hayate or Sasame, we could be killed instantly.

"I am not opposed to it, as its success could be beneficial for me. But from my calculations the probability of success is somewhere around 10% or lower. Therefore, I will pretend that I know nothing of this plan of yours," he stated. I sighed in relief. Of course Kei would be neutral as always.

"I will also do nothing about this rumor regarding the shares, either," he remarked.

"But surely, you could alter the records as proof?" Awayuki asked. He was bold, without a doubt, to be requesting something like that from Kei.

"Since most of the crew cannot read anyhow, it would be futile for me to alter the records in any way. I will also have nothing further to do with this. I must warn you, however," he said as he turned to leave, "not to underestimate the power of the captain and the first mate on this ship, cabin boy."

As Kei left, I hoped that this cabin boy would be able to perform the miracle that would lead to our escape.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Successful Pirate

Go

I was definitely losing my mind. For the first time in years, I had decided to go on deck during a skirmish to watch the progression of the next capture. Why? Because it would give me the chance to see how well of a swordsman Awayuki had become. I blamed my pride for overcoming my disgust of the capture.

Since I had been hearing rumors about a passenger ship coming through the Caribbean, I had expected our target to be a large ship—and was disappointed to see that we were up against a small merchant ship. Only marginally bigger than Awayuki's pinnacle. But it was putting up a good fight against us, that much I could see from the demands for more gunpowder and cannon balls from the crew. With his rapier swinging from his waist, Awayuki ran more ammunition to them.

Kei was doing my job, issuing orders for the gunmen to fire or cease fire in a pattern that only he understood. Although I had eventually been given the title of weaponsmaster, I was never truly given the authority associated with that title. I was a captive, not to be trusted. I would only maintain and make the weaponry, never give orders. And that would never change. And I liked it that way. It meant that I could keep my distance from the rest of the crew.

But Awayuki was different. When he passed the crew, he would give them a knowing look, acting as if he were no different from them. As if he was here of his own will. If I had not heard of his mutiny plans from his own mouth—I might actually think he was enjoying being a pirate.

I flinched as a cannon ball flew through the starboard side of the Pretear and whizzed past me, missing my right ear by inches. As detached as I usually tried to be from the battles, the cannon that almost took my head off was an insult I could not ignore.

"Kei! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're wasting my ammunition!" I cried out, feeling my pulse race—whether from the near miss or the battle in general, I did not know. He turned and gave me a look that only showed a hint of irritation, before turning back to the battle.

I felt a shiver run down my spine at that look. If I could see any emotion from Kei at all, it meant that he was seriously annoyed. I didn't have long to ponder over it, however. I heard the order to board our target, and turned to see Hayate standing unmoving beside Captain Sasame, who had just issued the order. I felt my blood boil at the sight of the two of them calmly watching the capture; the confidence on both of their faces was sickening.

I turned back to Awayuki and saw that he was already making his way over to the other ship. Stupid kid to go in so early, I thought angrily, leaping over to the other ship's deck, my sword drawn. As I fought my way through the poor crew trying to defend their own ship, I watched him cut his way with grace and speed. I followed him closely, worried. He might have learned a lot these past few months, but no sensible swordsman should go unassisted as he did.

It was almost as if he was trying to appear as if he was single-handedly taking his ship.

I slashed left and right, making sure that my targets were maimed enough to appear dead. Hopefully that would save them from both capture and actual death. I felt my blood pounding in my ears as I parried sword after sword. For a merchant ship, they were surely putting up a strong fight. What could possibly be aboard this ship that would lead this small crew to risk losing everything?

I heard a cry and looked to see Awayuki attacked from several directions at once. In a panic, I rushed forward. I couldn't afford to lose him—the only companion I had on the hell ship and the key to my escape.

"Awayuki!" I cried, plunging forward—only to stop short in my tracks. Out of nowhere, Hayate had appeared beside Awayuki, instantly killing the attackers in a single broad swing.

"Quit standing around uselessly, tulip head," I heard Hayate yell at him. Awayuki glared at him until he turned away to the battle once more. As soon as he had turned away, Awayuki's expression turned soft—almost as if he was filled with gratitude. I felt a surge of anger and turned away, ready to take down some more of the crew—only to find myself in surrounded by only the dead and wounded. As quickly as the battle had begun, it was over. The first battle—and I was convinced the last—that I would be directly involved with.

I heard the sound of clapping, and stiffened as the captain walked past me towards where Awayuki and Hayate stood, their swords dripping with blood. With the excitement from the battle wearing off, I caught an almost tortured look pass through Awayuki's eyes as he gazed at his rapier.

"Seems like I was right to keep this boy alive," Sasame said, eying Awayuki with what I could only describe as a lustful gaze. Was he interested in boys as well? I shook the thought out of my head and watched him warily as he circled Awayuki.

"How is it that a scrawny thing like you who couldn't even hold a sword correctly a few months ago do this?" he hissed suddenly and grabbed Awayuki by the neck. I watched in horror as Sasame lifted him into the air, all the while tightening his grip on his neck. If I didn't do something…if I didn't do something…

"I've been teaching him swordsmanship," I said finally, my concern for Awayuki overcoming my fear of the captain. Sasame released Awayuki, who fell to the ground, gasping for air. I felt relief wash over me, which was quickly replaced by cold fear as Sasame's violet eyes fixated on me. He continued to walk towards me in silence, and drew his sword. My mouth went dry.

"I suppose you are useful now and then. This sword was made by you, correct?" he asked. I nodded, my body trembling. I never knew what to expect from Sasame; Hayate was predictable, so easier to deal with. I had only one method of dealing with Sasame, and that was to not interact with him at all. Which I had failed to do now.

"Very good," he said, sheathing his sword and walking past me.

"Hayate, see to it that the boy and our weaponsmaster are rewarded for their efforts. Kei, I leave the loot in your hands," Sasame commanded, returning to the Pretear. Although my knees were still shaking, I willed myself over to Awayuki.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Awayuki nodded, getting to his feet. I opened my mouth, but felt Hayate's shadow loom over us. I closed my mouth abruptly.

"A party will be held for you," Hayate said to Awayuki. He nodded, a look of satisfaction running through his eyes. I was right then, after all. He had meant to play the role of the solo successful pirate to capture the ship.

"It's opium!" I heard someone call out. My eyes widened in surprise. The cargo was opium?

"Opium from China, no less," Kei remarked, as he brought a sample from below deck to show to Hayate.

"A profitable find indeed," Hayate said, holding the package in his hand, "I will inform the captain of this immediately."

I sighed inwardly as he left, and moved forward to reach out to Awayuki. He seemed pale—whether from the pressure the captain had placed on his windpipe or from the shock of his first skirmish as a pirate, I did not know. I extended a hand out to him, which he took gratefully.

"Ya all right?" I asked. He nodded solemnly, giving me a worried look in return. Perhaps I, too, did not look too composed after my encounter with Sasame. Awayuki managed a small smile.

"I didn't embarrass you, did I?" he asked. I looked away from his conflicted eyes and placed what I hoped was a comforting hand on his head.

"Not at all," I answered finally. I watched in silence as the weight of what he had done—of what he had become—settled onto his slender frame. His shoulders sagged and his face darkened. I felt a twinge of guilt that I had not done anything to keep him away from this battle.

"Now let's go check out the party in our honor, shall we?" I asked, trying to cheer him up—a futile effort, but an effort nonetheless. Awayuki's expression did not change.

"Let us celebrate," he said bitterly, his face twisting into a wry smile, "The day I have truly become a pirate."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Too Much of A Distraction

Hayate

"Captain," I said, knocking on his cabin door. I waited patiently for Sasame to open his door, clutching the package of opium in my hand. I had sampled a bit to confirm what it was, and the taste had brought back unpleasant memories. I only hoped that Sasame would not react to it any worse than I had.

"What is it?" he asked, finally opening his cabin door.

He had changed from his previous outfit of velvet into an outfit of pure silk. The coat was light lavender and the vest underneath a deeper violet, emulating the color of royalty. His hat was made of deep purple velvet with a white feather that matched his hair. His smug expression told me how much he enjoyed wearing clothing intended for royalty. And I could tell he believed he deserved to wear the royal colors—for his pride and ambition.

"The cargo aboard the last capture was opium, Captain," I explained, handing the package to him.

I watched him carefully as he narrowed his eyes. He sniffed the contents but abstained from tasting it.

"Who knows of the cargo's truth?" he asked me.

"A few members of the crew, Kei, myself and now you, sir," I responded. Sasame nodded.

"I do not want even a single package of the opium in the crew's hands. Do I make myself clear?" he commanded.

"Yes. It shall be done," I replied.

"Ah, Hayate?" he called out to me as I began to turn away, "I've heard that the cabin boy is living in your quarters."

I froze. Although I knew that nothing aboard the ship occurred without Sasame's knowledge, I had hoped to conceal this situation until another solution had presented itself.

"For the time being, yes," I replied.

"You seem to have an interest in the boy," Sasame declared. I did not answer.

"Well, I have no complaints about you keeping a pet," Sasame said, "So long as it does not become too much of a distraction."

I heard the warning in his tone and turned back to face him, giving the captain a slight bow. Satisfied with my action, he walked past my bent frame, looking down at me with a faint smirk on his face.

I straightened after I no longer felt his presence nearby and turned to head back to the deck. The preparations for the party were well under way. Bottles of rum that had been stashed away were being passed around like water. It would only be a matter of time before singing and dancing would be added to the frivolity.

Placing a hand on Kei's shoulder I relayed to him the message to deliver the opium straight to the captain. A brief expression passed through Kei's face before he resumed his blank mien once more.

"What should I tell the crew regarding the cargo?" Kei asked me, scratching away notes on his log.

"That the captain ordered that it be not touched by the crew," I answered. He nodded and barked out orders to the crew. I ignored the grumbling amongst the crew and proceeded to check the condition of the ship, as I always did after a skirmish.

"The condition of the artillery?" I asked Go. He glared in my direction and then answered stiffly, "Two cannons damaged, but not beyond repair, and more than three fourths of the cannon balls in stock."

I nodded in thanks, surprised to get a straight answer from him immediately. He turned away from me quickly, his eye on the girl. I gritted my teeth, hoping that he had not discovered her true gender. Sasame had already become suspicious that I had taken her under my wing—a situation I could have done without. I didn't need the fool of a weaponsmaster to cause me any further problems. Why had I taken her in? She was causing me nothing but worry…

"Hayate, sir!" a voice called out to me, breaking me from my thoughts.

I turned to see our boatswain running towards me and walked down to meet him on the lower main deck. This was good timing. I had meant to confirm with him the condition of the rigging and sails even if they had not been directly affected by the skirmish.

"Yes, what is it?" I asked.

"Sir, I just found out that some of the hanks of the mainsail have completely snapped," he answered promptly.

I frowned. "How did that happen?"

"It appears they rusted over, sir. The mainsail is unfurled now, sir, but we were unable to maneuver the halyard and furl it," he explained.

"Is there any way to furl the mainsail now without using the mainsail rigging?" I asked, thinking of alternate plans until we could get the hanks fixed. With the men drunk as they would be soon enough, I knew repairs would not be the first on their minds. As long as we did not have any inclement weather, the repairs could wait.

"I'm afraid not, sir," he replied. I nodded, making a mental note to check if we had any spare hanks in stock.

"Very well. I'll take care of it," I said. I proceeded into the hold in order to check the stores for hanks when I caught sight of the girl. She was crouched to the side, cleaning her rapier with the attention and care of an artisan.

"Oy, shouldn't you be on deck?" I called out to her. She turned to me with an expression filled with pain that quickly turned into anger at the sight of me. Great, I thought sarcastically, she's becoming a ditto of Go. Just what I needed.

She rose to her feet and asked me a curious question.

"What was your first time like?"

I blinked. What did she mean by that? My first time doing what? I felt an uneasy sensation that quickly turned to embarrassment. Had she and Go already…?

"Your first capture. Your first time truly being…a pirate…" she clarified. I almost sighed in relief, half-cursing my own stupidity for thinking otherwise. After all, this girl seemed to have no consciousness when it came to her own body…

I coughed to clear my throat and found her intense gaze still on me. I had a feeling she would not let me leave until I had given some sort of an answer.

"It was exhilarating," I began. Her eyes clouded over and her brows furrowed at my remark. And I remembered the look of pain she had had on her face when I had walked in.

"Yet it was also sickening," I concluded. She nodded slightly.

"Sickening, huh?" she said softly as if to herself, sheathing her rapier, "Sickening…"

Without another word, she walked past me to the stairs leading to the main deck, leaving me behind with the image of her pained expression burned into my mind's eye.

Those pained eyes and the expression of hopelessness contained within them. Eyes that were asking for escape, escape from this cursed life. The memory of eyes that mirrored the girl's eyes filled my mind, opening a chasm of images that I had sealed away. A pair of green eyes, deep and sharp appeared in my mind. They were asking me for escape, escape I never gave them. Escape I had never wanted to give them.

I felt my chest tighten and my airways constrict. I staggered to the wall of the hold, trying futilely to fill my lungs with air. As my vision swirled before me, I closed my eyes and tried to focus. Her face appeared before me, fading away into an unidentifiable form once again. Fading before my apology could reach her…

I collapsed to the floor, spluttering when I finally managed to take in air. Gasping, I focused on steadying my vision and balance. I needed to get back to my feet in the case that anyone came down here. I could fake drunkenness, but the lack of color in my face would give me away…

I needed fresh air. As I regained my motor functions, I made my way back onto deck. I could use a few drinks to ease my nerves. And staying on deck would allow me to keep an eye on that girl. I did not want to imagine what a crew of drunk men would do if they found out…

I ran a hand over my face. She was becoming too much of a hassle—too much of a distraction. I needed to find someway to leave her behind the next time we reached land.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Storm

Hayate

The time I had spent in the hold was enough for the rum's effect to kick in amongst the crew. I could hear the crew's off-key singing before I even as I walked up the stairs, and managed a slight smile. How simple minded the crew could be, happy just from a capture and rum. I envied their carefree nature at times, for I knew it was not a luxury I could have.

The smile on my face was wiped away at the sight of the scene on deck. That stupid girl was dancing merrily with members of the crew, her face flushed from rum. How careless could she be? I thought furiously, as I saw crew members' arms around her waist and shoulders. And where did the pained expression she had shown me earlier go? I felt irritated that I had worried over her at all.

I watched her as she sang along with the crew.

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?

Early in the morning?

_Way-hay, up she rises_

_Way-hay, up she rises_

_Way-hay, up she rises_

_Early in the morning_

_Put him in the long boat 'til he's sober_

_Pull out the bung and wet him all over_

_Put him in the scuppers with the deck pump on him_

_Heave him by the leg in a runnin' bowlin'_

_Tie him to the taffrail when she's yard-arm under__(1)_

I watched her sadly as I realized she was trying her hardest to forget. Forget the sickening sensation that had spread throughout her at the culmination of the capture. Forget the humanity that still was inside of her.

I thought back to my first time—after Sasame and I had been captured onto a pirate ship. We were ten or eleven years old, fresh to the sea-faring world, thrust into the hell of piracy. But it was a fitting world for Sasame. I still remember the look of glee that had passed his face as he killed. The satisfaction that he had the power—the power to strike back, to hurt rather than be hurt.

And I remembered how I had vomited at the sight of so many dead bodies, blood and guts strewn across the deck. I remembered how I had bitten my lip to avoid crying while Sasame continued to stab the immobile bodies with the tip of his sword, laughing and crying at the same time…

The sound of thunder broke me from my musings. I snapped to attention and began to assess the situation. Thunderclouds had begun to obscure the sunset with darkness. Rain had started to drizzle upon us and the waves had begun to churn the boat back and forth.

I didn't need to bark orders, either. The captain had come on deck the instant clouds had loomed on the horizon, and his presence alone was enough to sober the crew. They were already working on securing the ship, each member tending to his assigned task. Some were frapping the sails on the main deck while others put up the dodgers on the bridge. Sasame was at the helm, his unrivaled skill in steering the helm clear in the way he maneuvered the ship against the rising winds and heavy waves.

I went to inspect the furling of the sails at the stern, watching as the men skillfully drew the lines and fastened them to the inboard.

"Hayate!" I heard someone call me from the upper deck. It was the boatswain; I ran towards him, feeling the winds pick up and boat sway more dangerously than before. "Did you get someone to check the hanks, sir?" he asked me as we met halfway by the mainmast.

I stared at him slack jawed for a moment. How could I forget something so crucial? I silently cursed myself for my carelessness.

"Let's see how bad it is," I told him, but I didn't even need to say anything, because at that very moment, a flash of lightning burst through the sky, followed by rolling thunder.

"Steady! Steady the line!" I heard Kei yelling and turned to see several crew members trying to stabilize the mainmast, but to no avail. The mainsail flapped violently against the wind and rain, rocking the boat back and forth with it.

"Hold the line!" I cried, running forward with the boatswain to help the men handle the halyard. But it was useless. Without the rings to stabilize the rope, it swung in all directions, making it nearly impossible to control the sails.

"We'll have to cut and release the sail from the mast from the top," a familiar voice cried out from behind me. I turned to see the girl standing there, watching the men struggle with the rigging.

"Why are you still on deck?" I demanded, incredulous, "Get below deck and stay there!"

"Don't underestimate me!" she cried over the sound of the next wave of thunder.

"Hayate!" I heard Sasame's voice carry over from the upper deck. Seeing Sasame's furious gaze, I said quickly to the girl, "Get to my cabin and stay there. This is an order!"

I ran up to the upper deck and went to Sasame's side.

"Yes Captain?" I cried.

"Why is our mainsail not secured yet?" he yelled. I flinched at the anger contained within his voice. I knew that the Pretear was his pride and joy, that he treasured it above all else. My oversight regarding the hanks…

"Forgive me, captain. I will see to it immediately," I said, bowing my head.

"Get it fixed now," he ordered. "I don't care if you have to send a man up there to get it done."

I was speechless at the thought of endangering one of our men by sending them up to fix my mistake. But for Sasame, his ship was worth more than any crew member—including myself. I decided to fix my error, myself.

"Find some way of dealing with this _now,_" he almost snarled.

"Yes sir," I replied firmly, raising my head to meet his gaze. But he had already fixed his attentions to riding the waves once more.

I tried to get back down to the lower deck, but the boat rocked severely, and I had to hold onto the bulwark to steady myself. I could hear the shouts of the men trying to work on the mainmast. I heard a loud ripping sound as one of the sails came loose.

I steadied myself and ran back down to help them. The men had scattered from the mainmast, as it looked unstable now, but I ordered them to get back and try to hold it. I prepared myself to get onto the rigging to make it to the top. I needed to undo the bowline knot that held the main sail in place at the top, freeing it from its connection with the mainmast.

Just as I was preparing to climb up, one of the crew members shouted, "Look there!"

We all looked up to see a small figure climbing the mast and all the blood drained from my face as I realized whom it was. She really was a fool.

"Get down from there!" I cried, but I couldn't even tell if she heard me. She swung onto one of the rope, swinging herself towards the mast again to try and release the mainsail. Before I could even think of what to do, I heard a huge crack. The men all scattered as the mast started to break halfway. I heard the girl scream as she held tightly to the rope she was hanging on. The mast started to fall, but then stopped, teetering midway as the girl hung tight for her life.

As I watched her swing from the tangled rigging, a single mistake away from falling into the furious waves, I felt my mouth go dry.

I heard Sasame call me. He had left the helm to another crew member and was now striding towards me, his jacket flapping against the wind. He never left the helm — he didn't trust anyone else at it — which meant something truly urgent called him elsewhere.

He walked right up to me and said in his quiet but commanding voice, "Cut it loose."

I was sure I hadn't heard him right. "What?"

"Break off the mainmast," he commanded, looking straight into my eyes. "It is beyond repair now and we cannot afford to lose the ship because of it."

Then he turned on his heel and went back to the helm. I watched him leave in growing horror, when the girl screamed again, making me look up. The mast was now leaning more, fracturing more at the center; she was trying to hold onto the ropes, but her hands were slipping against the wet cords.

"Sir, we have the hacksaws to cut down the mast," the boatswain notified me. I turned to see Go dropping the saws as he realized what had happened. Then he looked at me with dawning terror.

Suddenly, the mast snapped completely, causing the boat to nearly capsize. It fell towards the port, dragging the girl along with it. Her hands slipped against the rope and she fell overboard. Just as she did, I heard her cry, "Hayate!"

That voice — it rang in my head like a siren call; it was the only thing I heard. Without even thinking, I tore off my jacket, ran to the gunwale and dove straight into the water.

It was ice cold, with the waves dangerously high. I fought against the current, searching across the water for any sign of her amongst the debris of the mast. When I couldn't find her, I dove deeper, searching through the water until I finally caught a glimpse of her vivid pink hair. I swam furiously after her, grabbing hold of her waist and pulling her back up to the surface.

Once we broke the surface, I gasped for air and then secured my hold on her. She lay unconscious against me, not moving or breathing. I swam back with her to the side of the ship, where the men had lowered a rope for me. I grabbed hold of it and they pulled me back up onto the deck of the ship.

Many of them crowded around me, whispering in hushed tones. I held onto her unmoving frame, her pink hair turning into blood in my eyes. I automatically began pressing on her chest and placed my lips on hers, breathing into her slack, open mouth in regular bursts.

"Wake up!" I grew angrier. "Dammit, if you don't wake up now, I'm going to stick you in my cabin and never let you out again!"

To my relief, she stirred, sputtering and coughing as her eyes opened. I lifted her gently towards me to let her breathe as she regained consciousness. When she saw me looking down at her, she smiled weakly and said, "I told you I would earn my keep."

"That was the stupidest, most reckless thing you could have done, tulip head," I condemned her, but I couldn't help but smile in relief. She smiled wider when she saw this.

"Out of the way!" I heard a harsh voice command. I immediately stood up, holding her shivering frame close to me, hiding her chest from view. The crewmembers all parted to let Sasame through. If I had thought he had been angry before, it was nothing compared to how he looked now. He was absolutely vivid, and I shuddered both from the cold and from the knowledge of the punishment that awaited me.

He slowly walked up to me until our faces were barely inches away from each other. "Come to my cabin. _Now_," he said in an unnervingly calm voice. He started walking towards his cabin and I had no choice but to follow.

"Go back to my cabin and stay there," I told the girl, hoping she would listen this time because I might not be around to save her again. I placed my coat around her shoulders and gave her a final stern look before leaving her in Go's care.

…

(1) I didn't write the song myself, but found it when looking for pirate songs. I can send the link to the site I found it in if you message me. The site includes the tune for the song, too.

I also want to thank my friend who helped write part of this chapter and for all the reviews so far. Thank you for your support in following this story!


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning** This chapter contains slash, BDSM, violent and graphic scenes that are relevant for both character development and plot. If you would prefer not to read this chapter, but would like to continue with the story, please message me and I can give you a brief summary of the plot of this chapter instead. Please do not flag as I have rated this story 'M' for a reason. Thank you.

Chapter Eight: Punishment

Sasame

I slammed the door to my cabin. Despite being soaked through, I felt like my body was on fire. The sight of Hayate on the floor looking up at me apologetically filled me with rage. I grabbed his hair and pulled his face to mine. He was trembling all over, whether from cold or fear I did not know, and did not bother to care. I pressed my lips to his and bit down hard. I felt him struggling to free himself, but I bore down until I could taste his blood on my lips. I released him and threw him to the floor, savoring the taste of his metallic juice in my mouth.

As I saw him there, holding his bleeding lip with conflicted eyes, all I could see was the way he held that cabin boy in his arms. He was so gentle and comforting with a look in his eyes that I could not stand. I would not let him go. He was mine and would always be mine. I kicked him in the stomach repeatedly and allowed myself a smile as his cries of pain became louder and louder. Bored with kicking my disobedient pet, I stopped and turned towards my favorite toy.

Hayate's eyes widened as he saw me stroking my cat o' nine tails. Each strand of the whip was crusted over with blood, Hayate's blood. This was my special cat just for him. I licked my cat and savored the taste of the old blood. I—and my cat—was thirsting for more.

I watched as Hayate cowered on the floor of the cabin, eyes full of fear. Not good enough, I thought. I wanted more.

I grabbed the chains from the hanger above and swung, hitting Hayate full in the back. I savored the way he groaned in pain, his back arching beautifully. I swung once more, hitting him in the back once more and kicked him in the stomach a second later. He swayed back and forth in pain and then fell to the ground, writhing. Absolutely beautiful. I could feel myself going hard watching his helplessness. But I wanted—needed—more.

I tied the chains around my squirming prey—tighter and tighter around his arms, legs and his manhood. I would not allow him to cum before me. He howled as I tied the chains around his manhood even tighter. Perhaps it would fall off if I left the chains there, I thought, licking my lips. I turned to my cat once again, gazing at my work of art in pleasure. His wet clothing stuck to his skin, revealing the muscles that strained against the chains.

As I raised my cat o' nine tails, Hayate averted his eyes, bracing himself. I would show him no mercy. The whip hit his wet clothes, tearing them. Hayate muffled his cry. I frowned. I wanted to hear his cries of agony, his torment. I wanted engrave my anger on his back.

I continued to whip him, one stroke after another, until his skin cracked and oozed. His cries became shriller until they reached a crescendo of agony. I smiled and reached out to stroke his wounds. I loosened the chains I had tied around his manhood. As expected, he was hardening fast. I grabbed his manhood and gently stroked its length, before moving down to grab his balls. I squeezed hard and dug my nails into his sensitive sacs.

He cried out in an almost feminine squeal that sent shivers down my spine. I dug into his second sac, and watched in glee as he bent backwards—rain, blood and sweat streaming down his chest to his abdomen. I tore off his wet clothes and ran my hand down the length of his body. His muscles tensed far more quickly than usual and I felt the fire in my body move between my legs.

I would make him mine again. I licked his chest and tasted the salt water mixed with his cold sweat. I groaned in pleasure and continued to taste the rest of his body. I bit down hard when I reached the muscles of his abdomen. The way his entire body clenched, and then released when I released my hold was simply stunning.

I untied the rest of the chains, moaning in pleasure at the marks the chains had left in his skin. The red, deep marks mirrored the bite marks I had left in his skin. My creation. Mine alone.

"Forgive me," Hayate breathed as I spread his legs apart. Though he was wet everywhere else, his entrance was dry. And I was not about to lubricate it for him. He would receive me as he was—he deserved no better.

"Say my name," I commanded.

"Sasame," he pleaded, ready to receive me. I smiled, but as I descended into him, all I could see was the face of the damned cabin boy. I pounded harder and harder as Hayate's cries became sharper and shriller. I pinned him to the ground, digging my nails into his arms until he bled. This was his punishment for the way he had treated that boy.

"Sasame, please stop," he pleaded, his breath ragged. He looked up at me with an expression that made me pause. I felt anger spreading across my features. I looked down at Hayate and saw that his entrance was spewing blood.

I pulled out and gazed at the figure below me. I was looking at a man with dark hair who became a boy with white hair. The boy's eyes were blank and accusing, his mouth sore from exertion. The boy was crying, bleeding, pleading and trembling. Rivulets of liquid flowed down his face. I wanted to crush that boy. I wanted to choke him to stop his whining. It was damned annoying. I placed my hands on his neck to strangle him. I wanted him to stop breathing, stop speaking. I felt my own throat constrict and my vision became blurry. I was fading…

Warm arms were around me. I shivered and drew closer to the warmth. It felt so comfortable—so safe…

"No…no…no," I moaned and felt wet streaks on my face. I looked up at the figure that held me. Those warm, gentle eyes. They were mine and mine alone. I reached up and stroked his hair and kissed him gently on the lip where I had bit him. He gazed at me, his eyes trusting and forgiving, open to my every inspection.

"I'm here. I'm here for you, and you alone," he murmured into my ear, as his hands worked their way down between my legs. He was more gentle than usual, kissing my skin lightly as his hands worked their wonders below.

I felt myself twist towards his body, my breathing becoming more ragged as his hands continued to stroke my length. His long blue hair was loose, tracing lines in my skin. I reached out to his hair and ran my hands through their wet and soft length. I caught the end of his hair and kissed it, breathing in his smell.

I felt myself fill with a warmth that was soothing. I growled in pleasure, as his lips tasted my body, lightly nipping me. As his tongue played with my nipples, I convulsed uncontrollably.

"Sasame," he murmured.

I felt him enter me and moaned as his length fulfilled me. I held him close, burying myself in his scent as he moved around—in and out, at first slow. He gradually sped up until we were both moaning in unison.

As we climaxed I felt an insane glee that Hayate was truly mine. No whelp of a boy could take him away, especially not from me. I would destroy every bit of that boy and erase him from my memories. I grinned into Hayate's chest as I contemplated how I would slaughter that insolent cabin boy.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: Healing and Heartache

Himeno

I grasped onto the rigging, the howling winds and the pelting rains unrelenting. I needed to get a firmer hold otherwise the next gust of wind would be the end for me. Holding tightly with one hand, I pulled out the knife from my pocket. It was too slippery to undo a knot in this situation; the fastest method would be to cut the whole mainsail off the mast.

I was so focused on reaching the top of the mast that I did not sense the tilt until it was too late. With ragged breaths, I looked down and realized that the mast itself was breaking. I needed to get down—now. It was too late to save the mast. As I worked to move down the rigging, a sudden clap of thunder startled me, and I slipped—saved from following into the churning waters only from the tangling of the rigging around my legs.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself, I swung myself back up to catch the ropes in my hands once more. I furiously cut away at the rope tangled around me and began to make my way down. So far so good. As I started to regain focus, I felt irritation rise to the surface. What was I thinking, climbing up the rigging myself! Did I believe I would be any help at all? Was my pride worth the risk to my safety?

Shaking my head, I continued my descent until I heard the sound I had been dreading. A massive cracking noise signaled to me that the breaking of the mast was nearly there. I did not have much time left. The combination of a massive wave and the further cracking of the mast swung me dangerously close to the water. I cried out in shock as I slipped once again, holding onto the rigging with all my might. I did not trust myself to move.

Suddenly, the mast gave way. I looked down and saw nothing but the swirling waves—the entrance to my doom. I braced myself for the impact with the icy cold water while filled with the sense that I would not survive.

'I'm sorry…' I said mentally to the family whom I still owed so much and to myself for failing to reach my goal. The demonic case of the captain surfaced in my mind, and I felt a surge of anger at the helplessness of my situation. I wanted to lash out—against the captain, against the crew, against the storm, against that stupid first mate…

"Hayate!" I cried as I plunged into the waves. I hit the water hard, the wind knocked out of me. I panicked as the frigid water rushed into my lungs and the waves forced me down with the rest of the mast. I struggled to reach the surface. It was dark; I could not tell up from down, and my body refused to move to my will. My chest was burning and I was fighting a foe that would not give in, that had no weaknesses…

I woke with my heart hammering in my chest. I could still feel the cold water rushing into my lungs and the sensation of being unable to breath. And then warmth…

I sat up in my hammock and turned to check the bed. Hayate still had not returned. I pulled his coat tighter around my body as concern, guilt and confusion filled my thoughts. I had never seen Sasame look that livid before, especially at Hayate, and I feared the cruelty of the punishment Hayate was enduring now—because of me. Had I listened to him and returned to the cabin, had my pride not gotten in the way…

'But he didn't have to save you,' a voice said to me in the back of my mind, 'he could've let you drown.' It was true. There was no reason for him to save my life. I was a mere cabin boy. I was expendable, discard able. There was no reason for the first mate of a ship to go to such lengths. Then why…?

I leaned back into my hammock and bit my lip. If I had originally thought that the captain was unpredictable and the first mate the epitome of duty, Hayate's actions towards me defied that logic. Was it because he knew I was a woman? Was there some drop of chivalry left in that man? But no, he had shown interest in me before he knew I was a woman…

Closing my eyes, I saw his panicked face in my vision. He looked desperate—and the way he had held me close to him as if protecting me with his lips on mine…

Unbidden, I felt a blush creep across my face, my fingers brushing lightly on my lips. I sighed. I did not expect to find any kindness aboard this ship, but both Go and Hayate had startled me in that respect.

"No!" I cried out, shaking my head. I could not afford to become soft now. For whatever reasons, Hayate had saved my life. He had found me valuable enough to risk his own life—a fact that I could use to my advantage. I did not understand the bond that held together the captain and his first mate, but I would do my best to sever it for the success of my plans.

I shot up when I heard the cabin door slam open. Hayate had returned, and as expected, looked horrible. I felt a pang of guilt as I saw whip marks across his back. I made my way over to him, but he swatted me away. He was trembling and shivering and I was afraid that he might be feverish as well.

"Let me take a look at your wounds…" I began.

"Don't touch me," he snapped. I pulled back my hand, hurt and then felt a surge of anger.

"Look, it's my fault you're like this, so at least let me tend to your wounds!" I shot back, hands on my hips. From his prone position on his bed, Hayate looked up at me and sighed.

"Do as you wish," he conceded, removing his tattered and sodden shirt. I winced as I saw the extent of the whips; his entire back was crisscrossed with red lines, cutting deep into his skin. The whips were not entirely fresh—some had begun to crust over while others were partially oozing.

Swallowing the rising bile in my mouth, I asked, "Where are the ointment and bandages?"

"Third drawer from the top," Hayate grunted, continuing to shiver. I took a dry towel and threw it in his direction.

"Dry off with that first and change into some dry pants," I said, turning away to give him some privacy.

While he changed, I took a piece of cloth and wet it, squeezing out all the excess water, my hand shaking while I did so. The condition he was in…

"Done," he croaked. I turned to him and began to wipe his body down with the cool cloth. He winced as I made my way over to his back.

"Can't you do it any gentler?" he wheezed.

"Be grateful I'm doing anything at all," I replied on reflex, although I decreased the pressure I was placing on his skin. After I had dried him down once more, I began to apply the ointment to the marks.

"He doesn't take punishment lightly, does he?" I asked, hoping to break the tension the silence had created.

"I disobeyed his order to cut down the mast. His punishment was light for that offense," Hayate replied in his usual monotone voice.

"Why do you put up with it?" I asked, my anger at the captain rising in increments for each whiplash. There must have plenty of other options for Hayate, given his education and what I imagined was his high-class background.

Hayate did not answer immediately, making me think that he had not heard me. He finally responded once I had completed bandaging him.

"It's the least I can do," he said softly. Before I could ask him any further questions, he looked up at me and said with the utmost sincerity, "Thank you."

I opened my mouth to respond in kind, but he had turned over to sleep. I clamped my jaw shut, determined to thank him for saving my life during the next opportunity I received, and crept back into my hammock. As my eyes closed, his look of sincerity filled my mind and his soft 'thank you' echoed as I fell back into sleep.

_Thank you, Onee-chan_, I cried out when I found the paper crane on my bed. My older sister Takako's kind eyes and smile greeted me as I woke up, and I smiled in return. The sunshine flowing into the room surrounded her figure, and I remembered thinking that she had looked like an angel. The angel of my family.

I clasped her hand and the two of us ran into the kitchen, where our youngest sister Mawata was already seated and having breakfast with my father. I felt irritation when I saw him drinking instead of eating, and promptly clapped him on the head, replacing his bottle with the breakfast Takako had made. At the sight of his sad expression, the three of us sisters laughed.

"Can you believe him, mother?" I asked incredulously to the photo of my mother on the table.

"I can't believe someone like mother would marry someone like father," Mawata said.

"Ah, what a horrible father I am!" my father burst out in comic depression, causing the three of us to laugh once more.

"Well, are you ready?" he asked Takako. She nodded in affirmation. I sighed. My sister was now of age to enter society, and a family friend of ours had promised to take her to London since she had no other female relatives to recommend her. I had not been looking forward to this day—the day I would be separated from my dear older sister for the first time in my life.

I followed the two of them to the dock, trying my hardest not to cry. I wanted to see her off with a smile at least.

"My dear Himeno and Mawata, be good and take care of our hopeless father, will you?" she asked. I nodded, while Mawata smiled. I envied Mawata's strength. She could smile even when it was painful. Even when mother had died, she had been strong, keeping from crying although she was the youngest. She had kept our family from crumbling that time. And she was doing the same even now, as her second mother of sorts was leaving her as well.

"Be safe," I said to Takako, giving into momentary weakness and pulling her into a hug.

_Be safe…_I woke with sweat on my brow, the memory of my sister's departure fading into the realm of dreams. I brought my hand to my face, wiping away the tears that had trickled down my face. I shook my head. It would not do to dwell on the past. What was gone was gone. I needed to focus only on the present. On my revenge.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: Betrayal

Himeno

The Pretear had been stuck on a calm sea for too long. The lack of wind, the harsh sun beating down on the crew and the dwindling rations had left the crew irritated and restless. The repairs on the main mast were progressing slowly, but we needed to reach a port soon to obtain raw supplies—wood, rope, canvas, nails—otherwise we risked remaining vulnerable to the tumultuous ocean.

Hayate still remained in his quarters, his wounds still on the mend. He spent much of his time in bed, trying to suppress his moans in my presence. It was as if he were as broken as the Pretear herself. I replaced his bandages, but despite the wounds that had begun to scab over, his fever would not break. On the rare moments he felt well enough, he would appear on deck to give orders in Sasame's place, but that was all. With the captain mysteriously locked away in his cabin, Kei conducted the daily activities of the crew.

It was a perfect time to set my plans into motion.

A crescent moon, half adorned with wispy gray clouds, provided little light. I moved by feel, grateful for the darkness for concealing my presence. I gripped the rope tightly, breathing in a measured rhythm to avoid being too loud. I was close to the stained glass window that framed the captain's quarters. A beautiful piece of art lost on that conceited fiend. I continued to climb down the rope, searching for the point of weakness in the window. A cracked corner of the window caught my eye. Pulling a dagger from my waist sash, I used the tip to force the crack open. Slowly, softly.

I sighed in relief when the glass gave way. I squeezed my way through the crack I had made, once again glad that I had the physique of a young boy rather than a woman. When my feet hit the rich carpet flooring of the cabin, I almost smirked. I was in the enemy's territory. Dagger between my teeth, I tiptoed across, staying close to the walls, where the shadows draped over me. And then I heard it, the soft breathing of the captain. I tensed. Anger flooded through my system as I remembered the way he had shot my first mate in the head.

Suddenly, I was by his bed, dagger in hand. I was filled with the desire to kill him then and there. I wanted to hear him cry out as I stuck the blade in him, not once, but again and again. I stood there trembling for several minutes, before lowering my hand. No, a quick death would be too kind. I wanted him to suffer the humiliation of losing his crew, his ship, and his pride.

I turned away and began my search. I needed to find it. As I continued my search, I realized it had gotten too quiet. The breathing had paused. I froze, fear flooding my system. I tightened my grip on the dagger, ready to strike. But it resumed, the soft breath traveling in and out, in and out, providing life for that creature whose life was not worth the expenditure of air.

My feet ended up being more successful than my eyes. A trapdoor. With measured movements, I lifted the trapdoor and smiled when I saw the series of boxes that the crew had moved from the last capture. The opium. I lifted the box over to the window and then gently placed it by my feet in order to open the clasp on the window. The cold breeze swirled inward, and I turned in alarm to the sleeping figure. No change in the up and down, up and down of his chest and no change in the even in and out, in and out of his breath. I placed the box onto the contraption Go had built for this purpose—a pulley with a support basket. I watched as the first box moved up and over the railing before turning to grab the next one.

Dawn was not too far away by the time all the boxes had been moved onto the deck from the captain's cabin. Exhausted, I climbed into the pulley and pulled up to the deck. I felt Go's arm around me and realized that I had been trembling—whether from exertion, fear or cold I could not say.

"I should have gone," he murmured, holding me tight. I shook my head.

"Only you could have pulled the cargo up. Besides, I'm fine. We don't have much time before the rest of the crew comes onto the deck. Go nodded and released me. I managed a weak smile at him despite my mounting anxiety. What if the crew did not believe me? What if they did not follow me? All these months of earning the crew's respect and trust—would it be enough? Would it be enough to break Sasame's hold on them?

As the sun rose above the horizon, I stood in position. One foot over my loot, a crazy grin on my face. As the crew entered onto deck for morning chores, I unsheathed my sword and brandishing it wildly, cried out, "Ahoy, you fools!"

As expected, I was greeted with dirty looks that seemed like they could sear my skin. Good, step one achieved. I had their attention.

"You starving fools! All this time, loot under your noses, and where had it been? Horded away by your deceiving captain. And what loot is this, you may ask. Well, see for yourself!" I cried, prying open one of the boxes.

The crew moved forward. I felt satisfaction as I watched the truth dawn upon them. Very few of the crew had known about the opium, and were probably silenced by Kei through that special manipulation that was his specialty. Now that the secret was out, its effects were rippling through the crew. First surprise filled their expressions, followed by the darkening of their looks as they realized how they had been deceived. How they had been deprived of the loot they had fought for. That they deserved.

But there was still doubt.

"How d' we know you ain't lying?" a man drawled.

I remained silent. I knew the answer would reveal itself soon, otherwise…

"Those were the boxes we moved, ya idiot! We were told to be quiet about it—the opium," another snapped.

"I had a lick before the first mate took it away…"

"Kei told me ta stay quiet about it for later…"

The yelling increased until it turned into chaos. I was surrounded by crewmembers that were grabbing at the loot. I happily opened boxes for them until they ripped it open themselves. It was like giving candy to children. The same boisterous rush towards the prize. I stood on top of a stack of boxes, reveling in the pandemonium around me. Stage two—a state of anarchy—had been achieved.

Now for stage three:

"A captain who keeps such loot from us…shall he be left unpunished? I think not!" I declared.

The crew, in their fury had turned into the mob I had hoped they would. My presence, the undeniable truth in front of them, Sasame and Hayate's absence had caused them to forget the fear that had kept them in line until now. I had set them free.

A rowdy band of pirates out for their captain's blood is like a horde of children on a sugar rush with the promise for more sugar. It was a thrill to lead them, knowing that once their objective was reached, the bit of control I had would be nothing but an illusion. But I had come to destroy, not to control. To destroy—to tear apart. The bloodlust was in me as well; I was intoxicated with the crew's fury. It was exhilarating.

My exhilaration halted when I saw him. Sharp, cold eyes filled with fury, he stood as a barrier between the captain's cabin door and the mass that was the crew. His sword was unsheathed and his gun was cocked and ready to fire. For a moment, I found myself in awe of him. Single-handedly standing up to the entire crew for the sake of his captain. His loyalty was admirable. Until I remembered the whip lashes on his back. Until I remembered the relentless fevers and the scars he received from the captain. I wanted to free him as well from the bonds he had with the captain.

I rushed forward to strike him, and the crew followed. He parried my attack with ease, firing at the crew with the pistol in his other hand. With a wide swing, he forced me backwards and slashed through a mass of crewmembers that rushed at him behind me. He was like a solo army, holding the oncoming onslaught with lightening speed and accuracy. Bang! Bang! Bang! He was shooting down the crewmembers with such accuracy that they fell to the deck floor injured enough to be immobile, but still alive.

The sounds of cries of anger and pain intermingled with the sound of guns firing and the clang of swords. I stood rooted to the ground watching him strike down crewmember after crewmember. Time seemed to slow as I stood there watching him. I didn't want this; I had hoped beyond hope that he would allow the mutiny to happen without interfering. But beyond my regret was anger—a feeling of betrayal. Had the kindness he had showed me just been an act?

I didn't want to wait to find out. I rushed forward again, my cries mingling in with the sounds of the battle. This time, he not only parried my attack, but the force of his swing caused the sword to fly out of my hand. Before I could draw my hidden dagger, his sword tip was at my throat. While his entire gaze seemed focused upon me, his other hand was busy shooting away at the remaining mobile crewmembers. The mutiny was beginning to die down, stopped by the force of one man. A man who was currently glaring at me with the fury of one whose most precious one had been threatened.

A sudden red blur past me—and Hayate was forced to move his sword away from me to block the attack. I watched Go move with speed I did not know was possible, and a power that was easily ten-fold the power he had ever used in our training. But while Hayate was responding with fury to the anger that Go brought to their fight, the obvious difference in the way their emotions affected their fighting was clear. Hayate was still calm and collected in his movements, even as his eyes blazed with a fighting spirit I had not seen before; Go, on the other hand, was attacking with more and more ferocious yet uncontrolled movements. I watched him with a sinking heart. His desire for revenge was so strong that it made rational thought impossible. In his impending defeat, I foresaw my own defeat at Sasame's hands.

I rushed forward and intercepted Hayate's attack that would have ended Go's life. The friction between our blades caused sparks. We were locked in a stalemate—neither one giving way—when the captain's door swung open.

His presence immediately dispelled any thoughts I had of the mutiny succeeding. Dressed in an elegant feathered hat, violet velvet gloves and overcoat, a lavender vest with several tiny silver buttons down the middle, breeches with intricate lacing and tall black leather boots with silver laces that were tied in the most precise knotting pattern I had ever seen, he exuded an aura of leisure. That bastard, I thought with indignation, he knew that Hayate would take care of the situation, so he took his own sweet time getting dressed! His overconfidence sickened me even as a feeling of dread filled my system.

My life would soon be over.

"The opium was it?" Sasame asked almost conversationally, while observing Hayate's handiwork.

The men groaned, trying to shift to look up at the captain, intent on hearing him. How easily he had gained the crew's attention—as if the way he stood itself was enough to command their respect. It made my attempts to lead seem pathetic in comparison.

"The opium that I had kept to sell at ten times the profit. The opium that would lead to prosperity for all of us is now in ruins," Sasame stated in a cold, matter of fact voice. He paused, for effect.

"And who is to blame for this loss? Tell me, who is to blame?" he demanded.

The crew weakened and injured as they were, turned on me in an instant. Those who were to weak to talk simply pointed, others called out my name. The thunderous cry of 'Awayuki' resonated in my ears as I was placed in chains once again.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: Restricted Freedom

Hayate

I stepped into his cabin with my head bowed. I was exhausted from both holding back the storm that that stupid girl had unleashed and from cleaning up the mess afterward. Kei was now handling the clean up, which I was grateful for.

I looked around at his empty cabin and felt a pang when I saw the empty containers of opium. How many had he gone through in the short time since the last capture? As much as I wanted to toss that girl overboard for trying to harm everything that was important to Sasame, I also owed her my gratitude. She was able to do what I could not get myself to do—namely remove the opium from his presence. I knew how much it eased his nerves and how much happier he looked from it, but I also knew it was shaving away his life in tiny increments. A poison that contained happiness.

As I slumped against the wall, I wondered what Sasame would decide to do with the girl. He had entertained her presence on this ship so far, but I could not believe he would do so anymore. Would he kill her immediately? Or would he torture her slowly for her audacity? Would he discover her true gender if he had not already? I shuddered as I imagined him ravishing her. As much as she deserved punishment…

I rose to my feet and staggered over to the door. The least I could do for her was to end her life myself. Just as I was about to open the door, it swung open towards me. A blood soaked demon walked through the door. I knew I looked no better now, but to see his pure white hair stained dark red pained me. Tired as I was, I should have been the one to do it.

I opened my mouth to ask about the girl, when his lips covered mine. I could feel him trembling ever so slightly—a side effect of being off the opium—and gently ran my hand through his hair. I felt his hand slide through my hair as well with a gentleness I had not felt from him in a while. He pulled back from the kiss and gazed at me with those sharp cold eyes while a cruel smile threatened to tug at the corners of his lips.

"My faithful dog," he said softly as he allowed the smile to grow, "You have done well."

I looked away and said in a low voice, "I do not deserve such praise. I only did my duty."

As I felt his cold fingertips stroke my skin, I shuddered. His fingers traced my jawbone and then onto my neck, tracing the lines of now crusted over blood. He leaned forward and began to lick the blood slowly, as if he were savoring every drop. His mouth sucked at my neck as if wanting to drink the blood within and without. A satisfied moan escaped my lips. But before I lost myself to him completely, I needed to ask one thing.

"The cabin boy?" I breathed.

His lips immediately stopped. I felt his entire being freeze and braced myself. And not a moment too soon. He clamped down with his teeth onto my neck so hard I feared it might kill me. I bit my lip hard to prevent myself from howling in pain and felt a new rivulet of blood from lip join the blood that already coated me.

He pulled back from my neck, his lips a brilliant red-brown from the new and old blood he had consumed. His purple eyes danced with a wild light and the smile was gone.

"That pathetic excuse for a female?" he sneered.

I froze. I suddenly felt my vision blurring, my surroundings mixing with the image of a woman with long black hair. Her green eyes filled with tears, almost accusatory as she curled up on the bed, her body racked in pain. She was trapped and I had not set her free. She was trapped and I had not protected her. I had not protected her…

"She was entertaining to manipulate," Sasame said, breaking my train of thought. My eyes focused onto his triumphant expression.

"Your little pet actually thought she was tricking me," he said, laughter following his remark. His eyes were sparkling with amusement. He had enjoyed the mutiny and her feeble attempts to threaten him. She was so far from being a true threat that she was nothing more than a toy for him. A new game that he would definitely win.

"I had _allowed _her to steal the opium just for a bit of fun—I had been getting so bored recently," he sighed as if admiring his own handiwork. He leaned back to my neck and began licking the open wound. I winced as I initially felt his tongue on the open flesh, but gradually became used to the sensation.

I now had another thanks that I owed that girl. She had distracted him and given him cause for enjoyment. I had not seen him as gleeful as I did now in a while. I was glad I had on a whim allowed that girl to stay on the ship; she was proving her worth well for all the trouble she had caused. I only hoped that she had entertained him enough. Enough that she would be spared…

Sasame's face underwent a sudden transformation. It twisted from utter glee to cold fury within seconds. I felt Sasame's hand up my shirt as his other hand grabbed my hair. His face was torn with anger but also hurt, possessive jealousy but also fear. The same accusatory eyes. I pulled him close. But even as I kissed him, I felt the semblance of cohesiveness I had maintained during the mutiny crumble. Sasame's form became hazy as if he were fading away. And all I could see were the angry eyes of that stupid girl…

"Get out," Sasame snapped, tearing away from me.

I hesitated, wanting to make sure that he had recovered enough to be on his own. When he saw that I did not move, he grabbed me violently by the hair and threw me across the room. My back hit the cabin floor hard, winding me for several moments. It was long enough for him to thrust himself into me in a methodical fashion, as though his mind had long gone elsewhere.

"Sasame," I cried out, trying to bring him back—back to me. His unfocused eyes became sharp once more, and he thrust harder. I felt my hips strain and knew I would be in agony the following day, but I endured it for his sake. I was his outlet—the reservoir—for his pain and frustration. I would accept it all.

When he was done, he rose and muttered, "That cabin _girl _of yours wasn't worth my time."

Perhaps it was because he could see the relief that spread through my face; he then followed his statement with a phrase that chilled me.

"Besides, I felt it would be better to break her than to kill her."

I rose and threw on clothes in a hurry, unable to look Sasame in the eye. He remained silent, and I wondered at his tolerance. Was this his reward for my efforts? That I could keep the pet he had granted me? Or was it because he enjoyed playing games with her?

As I began heading to the door, I felt his hands around my neck, teasing and squeezing ever so slightly. And his voice beside my ear: "I'll leave her alive so that you know to whom you truly belong to."

I placed what I hoped was a reassuring hand on his.

"Thank you."

He released my neck and I ran—away from him—to where she was being kept captive. The whole race down to the brig my mind was a blur. I could neither see nor think straight and I wondered in a haze when that girl had started to affect me to this extent. Why had I rescued her during the storm? Why did I not kill her for initiating the mutiny? Why did I spare her life when she first came aboard?

Why?

I paused when I reached her cell. Her clothes were torn and tattered. Her head was bowed and I could tell she was nursing wounds from being whipped. Nothing so far to indicate punishment beyond the normal course. In fact, I thought Sasame had been kind enough to leave her aboard the ship and not walk the plank. Perhaps it was more self-interest than kindness…

She sensed my approach and immediately stood, her entire body language screaming hostility. The fire in her eyes suggested that she had not been broken by whatever Sasame had done to her, but I did not trust it. After all, she probably viewed me as nothing but a threat now too. I gazed into her mask of bravado, trying to keep my face calm of any emotion. Of relief that she was alive, of gratitude, of a desire to reach out to her.

"Have you come to kill me?" she spat, venom in each of her words. I felt a slight twinge of regret that whatever trust had formed between us had been broken—but it lasted only a moment. After all, she was the one who had broken it.

"No. If you so desire, I am here to let you free," I stated.

She glared at me with suspicion.

"So that I can die by the hands of the crew? Don't take me for a fool," she hissed. Her hands were clenched and her eyes are accusing. What had she hoped I would do? Step aside and let her destroy the Pretear? But these accusing eyes did not burn into me like hers or Sasame's did. They simply were, and I accepted them.

"I will ensure your safety," I replied.

"By which you mean you will keep a very close eye on me," she snarled.

"By the laws of this ship, your actions deserve marooning. You have been granted stay upon this ship. Consider yourself fortunate."

"Fortunate to be trapped on this hell-ship? I would rather be marooned—set free…"

"Don't be stupid!" I cut in, furious, "Do you want to die? There isn't land for miles around!"

"Dying would be preferable," she shot back. I felt something snap inside of me. I was so incredibly angry with her—angrier than I had been when she had shown up with the mutinous crew. I tore into her cell and drew my sword, aiming the tip at her neck.

"I dare you to say those words again, when the threat of death is mere inches away from you," I hissed.

She froze, her eyes fixated not on the tip of my sword, but straight at me. I could see her begin to tremble ever so slightly and I realized she had never seen my bare anger exposed like this. And I still had not discovered what she had endured from Sasame. I sighed and sheathed my sword. She continued to be frozen in place.

When I extended my hand towards her, she snapped back and slapped my hand away like a cornered animal that had been abused to the point that it could no longer form trust.

"What did he do to you?" I asked softly.

"Why do you care?" she snapped, but the bite in her voice was almost imperceptibly being replaced by weariness.

Realizing that it was futile to probe any further, I turned and left the cell door open.

"I'll bring bandages and ointment. If there's anything else you need…" I began.

"He said I wasn't even worth…being treated like a woman," she said softly. I did not turn around, fearing that movement might cause her clamp up again.

"So he didn't...?"

"No."

I sighed in relief. For whatever reason, he had spared her life and her dignity—whatever was left of it at the moment. I considered everything that had occurred and felt truly grateful. Grateful that I still had the opportunity to protect her…


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Port Royal 

Go

I was a coward. I watched as the crew dragged away Awayuki and all I had done was fall back to avoid getting caught myself. I couldn't bring myself to go visit him. What would I say? I returned to my work, trying to forget the failure that had been the mutiny and that a new cabin boy had ever come aboard.

When I thought of how Hayate had single-handedly brought down the mutiny, or how easily Sasame had turned the crew against Awayuki, I realized that our plans were hopeless from the start. The bit of hope Awayuki had given me faded away. Things would return to how they always had been, and would remain that way forever…

I could hear Kei's voice, commanding the crew in cleaning up the ship following the aftermath of the mutiny. There were only a few crewmembers that weren't injured, and morale was at an all time low. After all, they had just lost a chance to take over the ship and a chance to cash in precious loot.

The state of the Pretear herself wasn't much better than her crew. She had been battered by the storm, and was still missing her main mast. It seemed a miracle to me that this ship was still floating. I surmised that it was Sasame's will that kept together a broken ship and a broken crew.

"Land ahoy!"

Despite my desire to stay below deck and out of sight, my curiosity for where we were headed got the better of me and I went up onto deck. I squinted at the formations of land distant in the horizon and shrugged. As I was about to head back below decks, I saw him. Hayate.

My anger surged at seeing him at the helm, confidently staring forward with an apathetic look on his face. I stood there frozen between wanting to strike out at him and a desire to hold onto my life. The instant I struck out at him, my life as a human being would be over.

As I stood there paralyzed between anger and—though I didn't want to admit it—fear, I saw Awayuki come onto the deck. My eyes widened in surprise and relief. I was glad he was still alive and that he seemed to have gotten away with only whippings from the look of it. I opened my mouth to call out to him, but no sound came out. Because I was nothing but a coward.

He seemed to sense me, however, and turned his gaze to me. He gave me a soft smile and a look that I could only place as apologetic, before turning his gaze away from me and towards where Hayate stood. I watched him sadly as his shoulders sagged as he walked over to Hayate. A defeated stance that mirrored my own.

The patch of land on the horizon was getting closer, and with an inward groan, I recognized where we were heading. If I had entertained any thoughts of escaping before, they were gone. We were heading into one of the most notorious pirate strongholds in the Caribbean—Port Royal.

Usually when the Pretear docked at a port to restock on provisions and for repairs, I was left aboard with a rotating guard. This time was different. Perhaps it was because we had major repairs to do and were short on uninjured crew, or that the mutiny had left all of the crew in a similar position of suspicion as me. But this time I was allowed off the ship for the first time in ages.

"Go," I heard Hayate's disgusting voice say, "you'll be with me and the cabin boy."

Great. Just peachy. As much as I wanted to talk with Awayuki—to apologize for my cowardice—Hayate's presence would put a damper on anything I could say to Awayuki. But it made sense—the two instigators of the mutiny would be placed with the most loyal member of the crew. Though I would have gladly preferred to spend the day with Kei instead.

As soon as we disembarked from the ship, I felt my legs gladly stretch and I appreciated the feel of the firm earth beneath me. The first thing that hit me was the stench of alcohol and sweat, hanging in the air like a thick fog. The sounds of prostitutes waving their sheets out windows, their breasts sagging out of the confines of their clothes and the drunken responses they would receive from the ruffians on the street followed the smell. The occasional gunshot and altercation spilling out of the taverns onto the street reminded me of one fact: I had returned to what was once my home.

"We're re-stocking our ammunition," Hayate announced and tilted his head, indicating to us to follow him.

I followed him silently brooding. Being on land for the first time in a long time, I felt unsteady physically and mentally as waves of uncomfortable nostalgia hit me. I turned to see Awayuki's reaction to Port Royal and it was as I expected—a contained expression of disdain at the looseness of behavior mixed with fear. We were surrounded by pirates at their worst, after all. We didn't have much to worry about in terms of being randomly provoked. Hayate's stern presence, his hand on his scabbard, was threatening enough to keep the pests at bay.

It wasn't enough to keep the women away, however. Completely ignoring our presence, a woman whose top half was completely uncovered came up to Hayate. Even though he was glaring daggers at her, she boldly approached him.

"Long time no see, Hayate," she said in a voice dripping with honey.

"I see you're doing well," he answered curtly in manner that indicated he wanted nothing further to do with her.

"Oh, it's been absolutely boring without you here," she crooned, pressing herself onto Hayate's chest, "Gentlemen like you are hard to come by."

"I appreciate the complement. Now if you'll excuse us," he said, while disentangling himself from her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Awayuki smile faintly and felt a mild irritation.

"Feel free to drop by if you want some comforting, dear," she said, waving at him. He continued to walk away without turning back to look at her.

I raised an eyebrow at the interaction. Why didn't I have women come up to me? I looked down at my tattered clothes and saw my reflection in a broken window. I was a hollow, gaunt specter still walking. Hell, I wouldn't approach someone who looked as dead as I did. I turned to Awayuki, who was getting called out; women liked them young and innocent too, I supposed. He was looking straight ahead at Hayate's back, seeing nothing else around him. I sighed and continued forward.

We arrived at the shop and I winced inwardly at the familiarity. Ignoring the memories that threatened to surface, I headed inside. The heat from the furnace and the smell of melting iron greeted me and I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat.

"_Go! What are ya doing? Bring that hammer over here!" my brother called out to me. I had been watching the way he worked in such awe I had been standing still. _

_Nodding, I grabbed the hammer, ready to strike the hot iron. This was my favorite part of forging—bending the metal into shape. It was satisfying to take that raw shapeless metal and turn it into the desired form. My brother and I always argued out whether the bending or the drawing out was the most fun process of the forging._

_He smiled as I approached with the hammer in a warm and comforting gesture that never failed to reassure me that everything would be okay. _

"_Can we practice swords again today?" I asked as I brought the hammer down. He nodded, wiping sweat off of his brow._

"_Once we're done with this batch," he promised, holding tight to the hot metal with his tongs. _

_I smiled. It was our daily ritual to end our day of work with swordplay. It had been this way ever since our father had passed away. We had traveled from port to port to find someone who would take the two of us in as apprentices. We had no money, nothing to our name except the knowledge of how to work with metal. We had been fortunate to be taken in here, despite the degenerate behavior that surrounded us in town._

I shook my head to clear the memory. We had work to do. I pulled out the inventory list Awayuki and I had made and stepped over to the counter. The master of the shop was a rotund man who clearly had plenty enough to drink. His beet red face came up to mine. I resisted from hitting this man who reminded me of my old master. I read from the list, knowing full well that most here did not read. He grunted and called out to his apprentice boy in the back.

When there was no response, he went into the back and I heard sounds of blows and a suppressed cry of pain escape. I winced. Would the cycle of abuse never end?

_The door burst open and the smile on my face faded. Our master had come back, drunk as a skunk as usual. He staggered in, surveyed our work and frowned. _

"_Where the hell's the other half of the swords?" he drawled, his face tight with anger. _

_My brother stepped forward in front of me, shielding me from our master's wrath. _

"_They will be done soon, not to worry," he said calmly. I could see him trembling in suppressed anger. Our master was not pleased. His hand swung and hit my brother in the jaw. I felt angry. Angry that my master felt entitled to hit my dear brother. And angry that I could do nothing about it. _

My fists clenched with the memory, as I stood frozen at the counter. There was nothing I could do for the boy. I certainly couldn't offer him a better alternative. Finally after several moments, the boy emerged, his lip cut and swollen, wearing a defiant look in his eyes. He was no more than nine or ten, with white, spiky hair and purple eyes that would have reminded me uncomfortably of Sasame's, except that they were so honestly straightforward.

"Two dozen rapiers, sir," he asked. I nodded. I watched him carefully, seeing myself in his place. But he had no older brother to protect him from the blows.

When our work was finished and I had gathered our goods, Hayate paid the master. I caught the boy's gaze and smiled in what I hoped was an encouraging way. He frowned and turned away. What a little brat, I thought smiling as I imagined him surviving and making his way out of here to better things.

Just as we left the shop, the door flew open and the small form of the boy went flying out of the shop. I headed over and caught him before he impacted with the ground. I turned and saw that Hayate and Awayuki had gone ahead. They were too preoccupied with bringing the weapons back to the ship to notice my absence.

"You okay, kid?" I asked. He slapped my hand away, struggling to get up. A true defiant fighter, I thought, encouraged that the world had not crushed his spirit yet.

"I didn't ask for your help," he snapped. His eyes were blazing but full of pride. How could I have even thought they were similar to Sasame's? Their eyes were like night and day.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied, ruffling his hair. He attempted to slap my hand away again. I was taking a liking to this kid.

"Stop treating me like a kid!" he shot out.

"Is that the way you speak to all customers, kid?" I asked. His rudeness was refreshing in its own way. It displayed a naïve lack of fear.

"I said to stop calling me a kid! Besides I'm not gonna work in that shop anymore," he said with his arms crossed.

"What are ya gonna do then?" I asked, out of both curiosity and concern.

"I'm going with you," he replied matter-of-factly.

I got up and started to walk away from him.

"Sorry kid. Find someone else to tag along with. Being with me ain't the best option," I replied and lifted a hand back to wave goodbye to him.

I decided trying to both lose the kid and return back to the Pretear were my best options now. Even if I tried to run away now, the port was swarming with pirates who knew the infamous Captain Sasame and would be more than happy to capture and bring me back to him for either gold or just for his good favor. And if that kid was leaving his abusive master, all the luck to him. If he came with me he would just be entering a new hell that was worse than what he had already experienced.

When I reached the port, I was approached by—if it was at all possible—an even more displeased Hayate.

"Where have you been?" he hissed.

"Taking care of some business," I replied cockily.

"If it's the brothels, you are welcome to head over with the crew in the evening—only once your work is finished," he snapped and turned back to giving orders to the crew. I was surprised at his uncharacteristic leniency.

Awayuki came over and began listing the changes to the weapon inventory that had resulted from both our purchases and from purchases made by the rest of the crew. I was only half listening to him, however. I watched as temporary hired hands helped with the crew in repairing the main mast. I remembered that moment when I feared that Awayuki would be lost in the sea. And once again, I had not been able to save him. It was Hayate—it was always Hayate…

"Go, you seem to have a follower," Awayuki said suddenly, breaking my thoughts.

I turned and realized that I had failed to lose the boy from the shop.

"What are ya doing here, kid?" I asked him.

"I said I'm going with you," he replied. His arms crossed again in defiance.

"I thought I made it clear—I said no," I stated firmly.

"Well, since you're here, we might as well take care of those bruises. I'm Awayuki. What's your name?" Awayuki asked him. I saw his expression soften at being accepted by someone. But then again, Awayuki had that effect on people. Perhaps it was his kindness that he could not hide away.

"Mannen," he replied.

"Nice to meet you, Mannen. Wait here, I'll bring some bandages and ointment," Awayuki said, smiling. For once, he actually listened and stayed put.

"So you're willing to listen to him, huh?" I mused aloud.

"That's 'cause he doesn't treat me like a kid," Mannen answered, his expression hardening again.

"Ain't nothing wrong with being a kid," I responded.

"…not strong enough…" he muttered.

I felt a stab of pity for him. He was so similar to me when I had been in Port Royal. The same defiance and desire to grow stronger. Which is why I knew that if he came aboard the Pretear, his spirit would be crushed like mine was.

Awayuki returned with the bandages and ointment. He carefully applied the cream over the bruises not only on his face, but also on his arms and legs. He stood silently, biting his lip as the ointment stung on open wounds. When Awayuki had finished wrapping the bandages, he said softly, "You should get going now."

Mannen's face fell. I watched as his shoulders sagged and he walked away, defeated.

"It's for the best, right?" Awayuki said softly. I nodded in agreement with him. Best to not be involved with this hell ship.

We both boarded the ship again as the rest of the crew were heading out in full force to enjoy the night pleasures of Port Royal. I could already imagine the crew the next day—hung-over and loudly proclaiming their sexual feats the night before—and retreated into my work cabin in a plan to avoid them for the next few days at the least.

Several days passed in this manner. I took stock of the weaponry and made sure that all the cannons were in working order for when the ship would be back in action again. I could hear the repairs on the main mast, the rigging and the woodwork continue. Every night the ship became quiet as a majority of the crew went ashore to enjoy drink and women with their earnings.

I had been so lost in thought one evening that I had not noticed that Awayuki had come into my cabin. When he began speaking, my head snapped up in surprise.

"I'm sorry about the mutiny," he said softly. I shook my head.

"That wasn't your fault. I should have warned you more…" I replied. Awayuki avoided looking into my eyes.

Up close and alone for the first time since the mutiny, I noticed how drained he looked. Although I could not see the scars from the whippings on his back, I imagined them and it sent a shudder down my spine. I felt guilty for doing nothing to protect him—for not even checking up on him because I feared the worst. I rose and pulled him into a rough hug. He stiffened in surprise before he relaxed.

"I'm glad you're alright," I said low into his ear before releasing him.

When I released him, his eyes were filled with tears and he gave me a weak smile before burying his face into my shoulder. Several hours later, he had fallen asleep after crying. I imagined his eyes would be red-rimmed tomorrow and I hoped he would get the rest he deserved. Poor kid, I thought, leaning in and kissing him on the forehead. I decided to go up onto deck to give him some privacy and space.

I reflected the amount of burden I had placed on Awayuki. His earnest determination had caught me off guard, and I had forgotten how young he truly was.

_Ain't nothing wrong with being a kid…_

I sighed. I needed to get off this ship for some time. I took my earnings and headed off with the crew in the rowboat. As I landed ashore, I reflected that it had been a while since I had even entertained thoughts about enjoying the spoils of debauchery. But I felt like I needed it. Seeing Awayuki fall apart like that had awakened me from the stupor of half-alive I had been in for the past month, and it jarred me uncomfortably.

I walked into a tavern and ordered a drink. As the liquor burned down my throat, I decided I would try to forget it all—the mutiny, any hopes I had of leaving the crew, and his tears—and what better way than to get drunk beyond all reason?

By the time I had left the tavern, my coin bag was lighter and my vision and balance was swaying. I decided what I logically needed next was a woman. I didn't need to go far. I stumbled into the adjacent establishment and was surrounded by women in all states of undress. The sounds of copulating filled my ears, and despite myself I felt my ears burn in embarrassment and was beginning to regret coming in. Before I could turn away, a girl—who looked like she was close to Awayuki's age—grabbed my arm and pressed her breasts against me.

"Leaving so soon, sir?" she asked coyly. I gave her the rest of my money and followed her into the room. It had been a while since I had been with a woman, but I had not forgotten what to do. She was sweet with me, coaxing me out of my initial embarrassment. As I ran my hands over her body, I thought of the rough hug I had given Awayuki. He had been trembling as he cried into my shoulder; it had taken a considerable amount of self-restraint to resist pulling him in closer.

Did I desire him the way I desired women? No…Awayuki was different…

"Is all this money for me?" she asked once we were done. I nodded in assent. She snuggled down beside me and said, "It's enough for the rest of the night. Shall we go again?"

I shook my head. Just laying there with her warmth beside me was soothing. As the moonlight from the window streamed onto her face, I reflected that she was nothing like Awayuki. Just a similar petite frame, but otherwise her aura was entirely different from that fierce, determined boy's aura. I sighed and turned to kiss the woman beside me once more…

As I stumbled out of the brothel, she gave a peck on the cheek as thanks, possibly for letting her sleep soundly through the night for the first night in a long time. My head was pounding and I remembered why I had vowed not to drink again. While I felt tired and was suffering from what was decidedly one of the worst hangovers of my life, I also felt oddly refreshed.

That was when I saw him again. I blanched and tried to lose him in the crowd of hung-over corsairs, but I was too tired and he was too quick. He caught up with me and I gave up, letting him follow beside me wordlessly. The crew looked in my direction in surprise as the kid followed me into the rowboat back to the Pretear. I tried to shake my head to indicate that I didn't have hobbies like that, but my throbbing head decided it was best for me not to speak.

After a while of silence, I turned to the kid and asked, "Do you swim?"

"Yeah, of course I swim!" he retorted.

"Good," I managed weakly, before tossing him over the side of the rowboat. He surfaced shortly after, yelling profanities at me. I rubbed my temples before looking up and sharply crying out, "Get out of here, kid!"

That shut him up. I averted my eyes to avoid looking at his eyes that clearly reflected how deeply my rejection had hurt him. It was for the best. I headed aboard the Pretear with a pit in my stomach. I hoped he had made it back ashore all right. I thought I was past feeling anything when I hurt others, but Mannen had proved me wrong.

With a miserable feeling in my gut, I looked absently over the side of the ship. It was then I saw him. White hair on a small frame holding on desperately to a rope.

That stupid, stupid Mannen!

"Pull up the anchor!" I cried out. The crew completely ignored me in their drunken stupor.

I turned back to where Mannen was holding onto dear life and cried out, " Let go of that rope!" I cried.

"No way!" he snapped.

It was then I saw that he was holding back tears. Furiously, he was trying to shimmy his way up the rope, but the wet rope did not give him enough traction and he slid—until he fell off the rope into the water.

Hopefully he'll give up now, I thought. I tried to turn away, but felt bothered by the fact that he had not come up for air. As I stood there, I became more and more worried that he had hit his head against the anchor. The water was deep enough where the Pretear was anchored that drowning was definitely a danger. Irritated at the kid for his perseverance—while respecting him for it all the same—I took off my boots and jacket and plunged into the cold water.

The impact of the water hit me and threatened to expel the air I had trapped into my lungs. I rotated in place looking for a head of white hair. Bingo. I saw his small figure slowly sinking in the water as if suspended by tendrils of light.

Even after we broke the surface he wasn't breathing. I made my way over to the ship and was surprised to see a fresh rope thrown out to me. I looked up and frowned. Hayate was holding the other end. I reluctantly grabbed the rope and allowed him to help the kid and me back onto the ship.

Once on deck, I tried to pump the water out of his lungs, but to no avail. Hayate shoved me aside and brought his lips to the boy's, breathing life back into him. He spluttered and I sighed in relief.

"A stowaway?" Kei asked Hayate, completely ignoring my presence.

"We could use a new cabin boy," Hayate stated. I froze. What would happen to Awayuki?

"You mean to have Awayuki take the position of boatswain instead?" Kei asked. Awayuki as the new boatswain? What had happened to the former boatswain?

"Yes. His knowledge of the ship maintenance was crucial in the repairs that occurred after the former boatswain abandoned the crew," Hayate said.

"So the matter of the boatswain was taken care of?" Kei asked.

"I personally handled it, under the captain's orders," Hayate responded.

There was silence, punctuated by sounds of the boy coughing up water and wheezing in air into his lungs.

"Well, I shall make the changes in the log book. At least we're not expanding the size of the crew. I would have had to make changes in the calculations for loot distribution then," Kei stated.

"Well, well, a new face," a familiar voice drawled. I felt a shiver run down my spine, and it wasn't from the chill of being wet.

"Our new cabin boy," Hayate stated simply. I turned to face Mannen and realized that he was frozen in place at the sight of Sasame. I moved to place my hand on his shoulder, which jolted him out of the fear that had rooted him to the spot.

"Welcome aboard the Pretear," Sasame said to the boy with a smile that could have frozen him solid.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Preparation for Guests

Hayate

It was good to be at sea again. Every time we docked, I could sense Sasame's unease at being so close to land. Even all the brothels in Port Royal could not alleviate his anxiety, so I did my best to soothe him. Seeing his precious Pretear repaired set him in excellent spirits, as did setting sail again. He felt in command of himself and at ease at sea.

I surveyed the deck, pleased to see the crew working efficiently again. Perhaps the repaired ship and the fair winds lifted their spirits. I suspected the extended stay near the brothels had something to do with it as well, along with the promise of a new capture. I nodded in acknowledgement as Kei approached.

"The captain would like to see you," he stated.

I followed him back to Sasame's quarters. Sasame was standing by the windowsill, the colored light from the stained glass window painting patterns on his otherwise lavender and white outfit. As he turned to face us, I could see the excitement radiating from his eyes.

"As you both are aware gentleman, this," he said, stabbing his dagger into the map spread onto the table, "will be the site of our next capture."

We were a few days' sail away from the marked site where we would intercept the course of our target ship. If the information we had gathered was correct and the winds remained as favorable, we would be raiding a large passenger ship on route to Hispaniola from Spain. A prize truly worthy of the captain of the Pretear.

"Our cannons are all in working order, I trust?" Sasame asked. Kei nodded.

"The Pretear is in pristine form and fully stocked," I added.

Sasame was beaming with the excitement of a predator when it has but little to go to capture its prey. The hunger in his eyes thrilled me—a hunger that was at once savage as it was coldly intelligent. It had been far too long since our last capture; even I was anticipating the next hunt. Sasame turned to me and I immediately recognized an undertone of a different sort of hunger in his gaze.

"Very good. Kei, see to it that the preparations for our guestsare completed. You are dismissed," Sasame said briskly.

After Kei had left the cabin, Sasame wordlessly gestured to me. I approached him with conditioned robotic movements. I knelt before him and removed the sash around his waist with my teeth—gently, for I knew how precious his clothes were to him—and arrived at the bulge underneath his breeches. I moved forward to lick the bulge, but I was moving too slowly. He unclasped his breeches and his hand gripped my hair suddenly in his impatience. He thrust deep into my throat and I resisted the urge to gag. Tears were forming in my eyes, but I focused my gaze upwards at his flushed face with his wild eyes. The eyes whose hunger was never satiated.

Captivated by those eyes, I released as he did—liquid fire flowing straight down my throat as the fire in my loins gushed forth. He released his grip on my hair as suddenly as he had grasped it, and I dutifully swallowed all of his offerings. With a satisfied look on his face, he said softly, "Does that new boatswain treat you this well?"

I averted my eyes. Anything I said now could harm her—if anything, I wanted her to escape his notice and to be able to remain on this ship freely. I remained silent. He knelt down and grasped my chin in a vice grip, yanking my face upwards so I met his gaze.

"Shall I do to her what I did with your last pet?" he murmured, bringing his lips to my ear.

I felt my eyes widen and my breath become ragged at his words. I physically could not answer him—I had forgotten how to breathe. The tightness in my chest exploded and I felt my vision blur into a sea of red. A red of guilt, of sorrow, of my sins…

My mind swirled again as I felt myself falling towards the floor. More memories surfaced, each tugging at my senses, throwing them into disarray. I found myself falling headfirst into the past.

"_Don't you ever wish you could just get away?" she asked me. Her dark black hair blew against the sea spray. _

"_What do you mean?" I asked, confused._

_She looked right at me and whispered, "Haven't you ever dreamt of getting off this ship? Stop being a pirate and lead a normal life."_

_I was taken aback by the question. The sea was where I belonged — but more than that, I could not just abandon this ship. I could not abandon him. _

"_I didn't think so," she whispered so quietly, I wondered if she meant for me to hear. _

"_Where would I go? What would I do?" I asked her._

_She blinked for a second. Then, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, she said, "You could be with me."_

_I laughed, thinking she was making jest. "But I'm already with you!" She smiled weakly, but turned away for a moment, as though she knew that we could not last. _

Forgive me, I thought desperately as I regained consciousness. Forgive me for my negligence. Forgive me for never listening to your requests…

I found myself on Sasame's bed. My clothes had been changed, and I found that I had crusted streaks of tears down my cheeks. Sasame was sitting in a chair by the edge of the bed, a book in hand, observing me with a detached curiosity. A flicker of emotion passed across his face, one that I could not decipher, and he stood.

His hand gently caressed my face, tracing the tears. And then in an unexpected gesture of kindness, he lent towards my cheek and kissed me. A slight application of pressure with his soft lips. Nothing more, nothing less. A simple kiss of a parent tucking in their child to bed.

He turned away from me and said, "You have been remiss of your duties. I expect you on deck within the hour."

"Yes, Captain," I answered immediately, rising to my feet, "I apologize for my negligence."

As I headed out of the cabin, I turned to try to ascertain his mood, but he remained faced in the opposite direction. I bowed and exited the cabin, worried about his sudden change in demeanor. I would be sure to check up on him once my duties for the day were over.

As I walked across deck, my eyes drifted over to the new cabin boy and the new boatswain. She was teaching the young boy how to tie a basic sailor's knot. The patience she brought in her instructions reminded me so strongly of _her_—of the motherly instinct she had embodied. A moment later, the similarity was gone; the cabin boy was venting his frustration at being unable to tie the knot and Himeno's patience was clearly wearing thin.

"Make a figure eight and then slide the shorter rope through this loop here," she explained.

"No problem! That kind of knot is easy!" the cabin boy announced while he made a hopeless mess out of his rope.

Himeno shook her head, smiling softly. She was watching the young, white-haired boy with an expression that reminded me sharply of my own in the past—the expression of the protector, of the guardian. It had many years since I had had that role for an innocent boy with snow-white hair…

"_Hayate!" he called out, gasping for breath as he ran after me, "Wait up!"_

_I paused and turned to face him. His bright, beaming face never failed to make me smile. His innocence and his optimism despite the radical change in his life was an inspiration to me—and I wanted to protect that naivety for as long as possible. _

"_Sasame, I know you're tired, but bear with it for a bit, okay? We need to get back to shelter before it gets too late. It's not safe out here," I said, reaching out to pat his head. _

_He nodded in understanding, his dirt-streaked face lined with exhaustion. We had been spending the day stealing little bits of coin and food—which led to our eventual close calls with the police. While I had been used to this kind of life—tired from hunger, on the run—Sasame had been accustomed to better things. I reflected on how much he endured without complaint; even I did not have that nobility of character._

_I pulled out a piece of bread crust from our sack of the day's spoils and handed it to him. He took it gratefully and shoveled it down as he followed beside me. He looked ready to collapse from the day's work. Street life had taken its toll; months before when I had found him he had been plump with smooth skin and a thick head of hair. Now, he was emaciated with tufts of hair missing and a layer of grime that seemed to never come off. He deserved better than this, and I wanted to make sure that he received it. _

"_It will get better, won't it?" he asked me once we had reached our home—a small, but dry, crevice in an old brick building wall. _

_I snuggled beside him to keep him warm, and pulling him close to me I murmured, "Yes, I promise you it will."_

A promise I had still to fulfill. True, life as a captain of an infamous pirate ship was a clear improvement from being a street urchin. But I desired more for him. I thought briefly of the soft kiss he had given me and hoped that the sweet boy he had once been was still there. Such kindness would be the death of him—unless I was always there to protect him. To protect his happiness, his kindness and his ambition.

Himeno noticed that I had been watching her and the boy and immediately stiffened. She turned and gave me a frosty look before continuing her instructions for the boy. A part of me missed the familiarity we had developed over the time we had spent together. Though she remained in my room, she acted as if I was not present and kept to herself. It wasn't until deep into the night that I could hear the soft sobs coming from her hammock. I hoped that the new cabin boy and her new position would provide her with enough distraction from her troubles.

I felt the corners of my lips tug upward slightly as I watched the boy struggle with the knot. I made my way over to them—to Himeno's disdain—and took the boy's hands in my own. He did not freeze at my touch—perhaps he trusted me since I had resuscitated him—and allowed me to guide him through the flow of the rope. When finished, I pulled my hands back and allowed him to view his handiwork. A smile burst across his face. One of pride and self-satisfaction.

"Now try it on your own," I said. His face fell slightly, but his expression soon transformed to one of rugged determination.

As he worked with the rope, I turned to Himeno. She wavered between focusing on the cabin boy as a means to ignore me and meeting my gaze for the first time in weeks.

"How are you finding your new duties?" I asked her.

"Fine," she responded curtly, bringing her sharp gaze to meet mine.

I had missed those brilliant eyes. The tough yet also delicate eyes that had captivated me from the moment I had first seen them glaring at me from her small ship. Her audacity, her sensitivity, and her perseverance—I had never met a woman like her before. And would probably never again.

"Glad to hear, tulip head," I said, a soft smile on my face.

Her eyes narrowed at the mention of her nickname, but I could sense part of the edge in her demeanor fade. She resumed her instructions with the boy and I turned once more to survey the deck. The preparations for our soon-to-be guests were well under way—ammunition ready to go, the proud pirate banner restored and ready to fly high on the mast, and the crew riled up for the next capture.

I watched as the sun dipped towards the horizon and felt my heart race with anticipation and an anxiety I could not place.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: The Demon of the Sea

Sasame

He was convulsing on the ground as if in physical agony. The way his body contorted was enticing to watch—but he did not deserve this now. He had been so faithful recently, listening to my every whim. Soothing me when I feigned anxiety. I knew that girl was no longer a threat; her spirit had been broken and Hayate's attachment to her could not come close to the bonds I had him shackled with. But _her…_I rued the day her final act sealed her deep within his mind. I could never be truly rid of her.

He was sobbing now that his breathing seemed to restore slightly. I observed his moans—pleading for forgiveness—and I allowed myself a smile. No—she was simply another chain that bound him to me. His failure to protect her was one of many tendrils of guilt that kept him close to me. I brought his lips to mine and kissed him gently, proceeding to breathe life back into him. When I moved away, he made a final shudder and then became still, his breathing even and soft.

My own, my precious Hayate…

I removed his clothes—his jacket, his undershirt, his boots and his breeches—and admired his body for a moment before running my hand across his skin. The warmth of his skin was alluring; I leaned forward and licked the sweat off of his skin. I savored the taste of him in my mouth before running my tongue once again over his skin. If I could consume him within me so he was truly one with myself…

I clamped my mouth around his nipples, sucking hard. The nipples became erect, and in my excitement, I bit down hard. A moan escaped his lips, but he remained unconscious. Unconscious so I could play with him longer.

I brought my hand to his hair, running his fingers through the long tendrils. Almost black as night in perfect contrast to the hair that covered my head. I buried my face into his hair, breathing in his smell, his sweat, imprinting it into my memory.

"Forgive me…" he murmured. His face once more contorted in agony. I turned away, suddenly angry with him for all the changes that had placed distance between us since that time in London long ago. The Hayate I wanted was long gone—by my own hand.

"…Sasame…" he breathed a moment later. I paused, and turned back to face his sleeping form as my eyes narrowed. The only one who had stayed by my side as I transformed to the demon I was now, the only one who had been there when I had been so pathetically weak that I could not defend myself, the only one who tolerated every aspect of my being…

_I was excited. Mother had told me that she would take me to the royal flower viewing. I was happy. She knew how much I loved flowers—I had learned how to take care of many of the flowers in the garden from our personal gardener—and felt that this was her special treat for me for my birthday. I wore my favorite outfit—a silk white tunic with sandalwood colored breeches and sandals that were close to being a size too small. _

_She was being extra nice to me today, but I guessed that was because it was my birthday. She had our cooks make my most favorite foods and pack it into a picnic, along with a slice of golden vanilla-flavored cake. I wanted to eat the cake now, but Mother said I needed to wait. I nodded, anticipating eating the cake with her surrounded by flowers. _

_I didn't know why, but Mother's smile looked too strained—as if she wasn't really happy. Had I done something to make her mad? I apologized to her, but she shook her head and then grabbed me into a firm hug. She smelled of rose perfume. When she released me, her eyes seemed too watery, like she was going to cry. _

_I decided I would try to cheer her up today. _

_The flower viewing was crowded, so I stuck close to her. There were flowers of all kinds—tulips, chrysanthemums, and roses as well as my personal favorite, lilacs of a light lavender color. I liked them because they were close to the color of my eyes. I had overheard some of the maids commenting on how my eyes looked like the eyes of a demon. When I had told Mother this, she found out which maids had said this and had them fired. But I didn't forget what they had said. It was only the lilacs that proved to me that my eyes were natural and beautiful like them. _

_Mother turned to me and pressed the picnic basket into my hand. I looked at her confused for a moment, but her smile was reassuring. I grasped the basket and smiled back. _

"_You're a good boy, Sasame, and I love you," she said, kissing the top of my head. _

_Mother, who rarely told me that she loved me directly, was telling me now. I felt so happy and decided that it was the best birthday I had ever had. I beamed in response. I dropped the picnic basket and wrapped my arms around her neck._

"_I love you, too," I said. _

_She pulled my arms out of the hug, and looked at me in a strange way. _

"_I need to go do something. Just wait here, okay?" she asked. _

_I nodded. I would wait for her—for the surprise I thought she was bringing me. I watched her disappear in the crowd. I stood there with the picnic basket, waiting and waiting. The crowd began to thin as the sun began to set. I began to panic. Did something bad happen to her? She had told me to wait here, but I couldn't stay still anymore. I picked up the picnic basket and began to run around the garden, looking for her. _

_I was getting hungry, but determined not to eat any of the food until I found her. I wanted to eat my cake with Mother, even if I could no longer see the flowers. No matter how much I ran around, I could not find her. A guard came over to me to escort me out. The flower show had ended, but I still hadn't found Mother. _

_I began to cry. I tried to explain to the guard that I was looking for my mother, but he would not listen and turned me out. I explained who I was—the son of the Duke—but he only gave me a blank stare and ushered me out. What was going on? _

_Maybe Mother had felt ill and gone back home. Was she feeling so ill that she forgot to send a maid to fetch me? I decided that was what had happened and began to walk home. But I didn't know how to get back home from here. There had always been someone with me wherever I went so I never felt the need to pay attention to my surroundings. _

_I stumbled and fell to the pavement. My breeches tore at the knee. My white tunic was now dirty with the grime off the streets. I collapsed onto the ground, wanting someone—anyone—to come help me. To take me home. _

_It was getting colder. I shivered and hugged my knees closer to my body. I heard a dog barking farther away and thought of my golden, friendly Alexander back at home. I wanted to go home…_

"_You got food in there?" a voice asked me. I looked up from my curled position and found myself staring into a pair of dark blue eyes. He was eyeing my picnic basket with a hungry, almost rabid look. I nodded. _

"_Care to share some?" he asked, sitting next to me. I gestured to him weakly that he was welcome to it. He opened it up with the same excitement I would open Christmas presents. _

"_Wow! This is fancy stuff! Are you some rich kid or something?" he asked, while starting to shovel down the sandwich that was in there. _

_I didn't know what to answer. The Duke was my father. I needed to get back home. Home…maybe this kid could take me home!_

"_I'm the Duke's son. Do you know how to get to him?" I asked. He finished swallowing his sandwich and licked his fingers. _

"_You're kidding me. You're the Duke's son? Well, I owe you for the food anyway. Everyone knows where the Duke lives after all. Follow me," he said, extending his hand out to me. I hesitated, but then placed my hand in his. It was dirty, but surprisingly warm. I allowed myself to hope that he could help me out. _

_I hurried after him, thinking of all the things I would do once I got home. I would take a nice, hot bath, play with Alexander, read a book and eat my cake with Mother. When we reached the gates of my home, I felt elation. I rushed forward and hugged him in thanks. He stiffened, as if unused to the gesture. _

"_Um, well, I'd best be going then," he said once I had released him. _

"_Thank you," I said. He looked embarrassed. _

"_Yeah, okay," he said and turned to leave. I made my way to the gate and called out to be let in. The guard at the gate—someone I had known for my entire life—looked at me with a cold expression and did not budge. I asked again to be let in, but still no response. What was going on today? _

_And that was when I saw Father. He strode over with an enraged look on his face. I tried to think wildly of what I had done to upset him, but could come up with nothing. _

_He came up to the gate and glared down at me. _

"_You are no son of mine, you demon. Now get out of here before I have you removed," he stated in a thundering voice. _

_My lip quivered. I never cried in front of Father, but I could not help it now. I felt frozen in place, unable to understand what had happened. I saw Father gesture to the guard, who began to move towards me—_

_A hand covered my eyes and I was pulled backwards, away from the gate, away from my no longer home. _

"_Leave him alone," I heard the boy say. The tears were streaming down my cheeks as he led me away from my home. He brought me to what was most likely his home—a small crevice in a wall. I continued sniffling. He managed to bring my picnic basket and pulled out the cake. _

"_Here," he said, wiping my cheeks with his other hand, "Eat."_

_I took the cake and tore it in half. A birthday cake was no fun unless it was shared with others. _

_After watching me take a first bite, he bit into the portion I handed to him. _

"_I've never had anything like this!" he exclaimed. I smiled a little at his reaction. He brought his hand to my head and patted it gently. _

"_It'll be okay," he said, "My name's Hayate. What's yours?"_

"_S-sasame," I answered. _

"_Sasame, huh? Well, Sasame, you've got some interesting eyes," he replied, still savoring his bit of cake. _

"_They don't scare you?" I asked. _

_He shook his head._

"_Nah, they're really pretty," he said, leaning in closer to my face to get a better view of my irises. _

_And I moved forward to kiss him…_

Jarred by the sudden memory of the day that had twisted my life upside down, I stood frozen, staring at Hayate's sleeping form. His kindness back then had saved me—continued to save me, even as it poisoned me.

I knelt down and kissed him on the brow before rising to reach for a washcloth. I ran the cloth over his skin—over the many scars I had given him. Scars for each time he had tried to defy me. I needed him broken enough to be bound to me, but not too broken. I wanted my trained dog to dance at my every will…

I placed him in my bed and fitted him with new clothes, reminding myself to have him pay me in kind for the services he was receiving from me. Just so that he would not forget his place.

I observed his sleeping face, amused by how many expressions arose within a span of moments. Moments passed and he seemed comfortable enough in his slumber. I took Dante's Divine Comedy from my desk table and opened it up to read. Immersing myself in his depiction of purgatory, I smiled as I noted how each of my sins—pride, envy, wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony and lust—had been born thanks to Hayate. How his kindness had molded me into the demon I was now. How I relished what he had unleashed from within me.

Holding the book in hand, I watched him as he finally settled into a peaceful mien. I felt oddly comfortable and at ease. Silence enveloping Hayate and I. It almost reminded me of old times—and suddenly the moment was gone. I could not go back. The past was done, and there was the future to conquer. I would not be weak like Hayate—crippled by the sins of the past. I would trample over anything to obtain what I deserved.

He began to stir. I watched him with amusement and curiously reflected that his existence had defined me for so long. That he was essential to me. The one who thought my eyes were _interesting_. The one who had seen me as more than a demon. I placed Dante aside and made my way over to him. I had neglected to wash his face; the streak of tears seemed too delicious to wipe away.

I knelt down and kissed him lightly on his cheek, as if to absorb the tear streaks. As if to beg for his forgiveness. The sudden desire to be gentle passed. I wanted him gone—out of my sight—before I crumbled any further. I turned away from him and said, "You have been remiss of your duties. I expect you on deck within the hour."

"Yes Captain," he answered immediately, "I apologize for my negligence."

I remained facing the window as he left. I could not show him anymore of my weaknesses. In order to remain captain of this ship and to achieve my goals, I needed to become the demon I had been accused of being from the beginning. A merciless demon of the sea.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Freightful Capture

Mannen

I had been on this ship not too long before I discovered a few things. One: never, ever interact with the captain if you could help it. Two: the first mate was a different kind of scary from the captain, so best to avoid him too. And three: Go was an idiot. I followed him to this ship because he was different from the rest of the pirate scum I encountered daily at Port Royal. He made me think that there were some decent pirates out there too.

But it wasn't long before I found out that he wasn't a cool pirate. He was just a big idiot who didn't look out for himself. I figured the only thing he could do well was anything to do with swords—either making them or fighting with them. Along with the chores he gave me, from being his personal gofer to scrubbing the deck, he made me practice sword fighting with him.

As if I didn't know how to use swords already! Well, actually, my old master had never given me lessons per se; I would sneak out in the back of the store and swing a sword around myself when he wasn't around. I figured it was enough, but Go told me that I was not only holding the sword wrong, but that my stance was completely wrong too.

That busybody needed to stop worrying about others so much. Just as he took me under his wing, Go was clearly keeping an eye on Awayuki as well. Not that Awayuki needed much looking after. He was well versed in all things nautical—perhaps more so than Go—and had an interesting way of dealing with the first mate. As if he wasn't completely afraid of him or something. But maybe that was because he had his idiotic moments too.

Awayuki taught me how to furl or unfurl the sails according to the wind, how to tie sailor's knots, how to climb my way up to the crow's nest and—most importantly—how to get along with the crew. Awayuki differed from Go; whereas Go would avoid the rest of crew excluding Awayuki and myself, Awayuki would make an effort with the crew. Although there were times where I sensed that Awayuki had a grudge against the others of the crew.

All in all, it was a better life than the one I had as an apprentice to my former master. I could put up with the beatings initially, but they only increased in frequency over time. For a brat born in a brothel, I didn't have a ton of options. If I had been a girl, my mom would have kept me and trained me. As a boy, I could work in a tavern, a shop, or learn a trade. I decided that learning a trade would be the most useful.

As an apprentice to a blacksmith, I could get at least one guaranteed meal and a place to stay for my work. And for the most part, the pirates that came ashore kept their business clean when purchasing weapons. Probably because my former master made some of the best weapons available at Port Royal. I guess they felt that there was no need to ruin that business relationship. So my previous job was safe, secure and useful.

But I was going nowhere. I figured if I stayed where I was, I would be stuck there forever, accumulating bruises and broken bones. I wanted to go out and explore, but not with another master who would only beat me up some more. The first moment I saw Go I felt that he was someone I could go with. He seemed naïve and, oddly enough, kind and caring. Not that I needed anymore babying me. It was…nice…to meet someone like him. It seemed like a sign.

And in such a short time, I already felt like a seasoned pirate—except for one thing. I hadn't seen any action yet. No sea battles, no capturing loot. Just steady sailing through the sea. And boy, was it getting boring. I considered learning how to fish just to kill time. That or find something to read. At least the captain or the first mate must be able to read. I decided if things continued at this pace, I would sneak my way into one of their cabins to get myself a book. Sneaking into their cabins alone would be exciting. I grinned as I thought of how thrilling it would be.

"Whatcha doing grinning like that?" Go called out.

I froze. I had completely forgotten about whatever menial task he had given me. I turned to run off before he could give me a reminder, but he caught me by the back of my shirt.

"Where's the inventory I asked ya for three hours ago?!" he asked, his hands on his hips.

I grinned sheepishly and began to run.

"Just taking a little break!" I called out as I ran below deck.

I wasn't watching where I was going since I was more focused on getting away from Go that I slammed straight into someone's torso. I stepped back, looked up and cringed when I realized it was Kei.

"My bad," I said, grinning and rubbing the back of my head.

Kei continued past me as if I were no more than an inanimate object that he happened to bump into. Now Kei I could understand. He was straightforward and calculating. He didn't bother to care about other people like Go did. Kei was smart, and I knew it was people like him—people who only looked out for their own self-interest—that made it in the end.

I noticed that the activity of the crew was more today than it ever had been since I had joined the crew. I also wondered that Go had asked me to re-check the inventory after I had done so only three days ago. I initially figured he was just trying to keep me busy to keep me out of trouble, but now I felt like something else was up. I grabbed a passing crewmember and asked him what was happening. He laughed at me and continued on his way. The nerve! Did no one take me seriously on this ship?

That's when I saw Awayuki, giving instructions to the crew to check that the rudder and sails were in working order.

"Hey, are we going to war or something?" I asked cheerfully. He turned to me with a dead serious expression and nodded.

"Really?" I asked.

"Our next target is not even a half day sail away from us. And with the wind propelling us forward, we should intersect the Belleza even sooner. Best that you stay below decks when the fighting breaks out," he explained in a monotone, even as his hands were busy at work.

"No way! My first capture! I'm gonna see this one through!" I grinned.

Awayuki shook his head at me, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to become a weary, jaded pirate like Awayuki and Go. No, I would keep the thrill of adventure within me for the years to come. I intended to have lots of fun with this pirate thing.

I killed time by going through the inventory again and by the time I reported to Go, he looked strained.

"Where have ya been?" he said, grabbing me by the ear, "Geez. Anyways, get below deck. The target's in sight," Go said.

I looked out at the horizon and could see a small speck in the direction Go was indicating. Sweet, I couldn't wait for the cannons to start firing. I wondered what kind of treasure we would get. Gold? Silver? Or diamonds?

"Go to the armory. Now!" Go said sternly.

I walked away, looking defeated until he turned away to focus on his job. No way was I missing out on this. I weaved my way through the crew and smiled in excitement as the pirate flag was hoisted up. Skull and crossbones on simple black clothe.

We were gaining on the target ship. The Belleza…a Spanish ship with a very unoriginal name. Why name a ship 'beauty' anyway? Oh well, each to their own, I suppose.

The captain had come aboard. I could hear his distinct boots thudding on the deck even from the opposite end of the ship. I saw him from a distance giving his first mate what were probably orders, which that obedient dog of a first mate then promptly barked at the crew. No effort wasted by that eerie captain.

I felt a shiver of anticipation as the cannons were loaded simultaneously. Would we fire first or would the target ship? Was it an armed merchant ship? Or a naval ship?

We fired first. The first cannon hit its target, but due to the distance, missed the crucial midpoint of the ship. It barely grazed the deck as it flew by. And that was when I began to hear the screaming.

Granted, I knew that pirates were scary if you were on the receiving end. But something about the screaming felt different—it felt wrong. Maybe this was how captures usually went though. I tried to ignore that feeling that was bugging me and continued to watch.

Another series of volleys. The screams grew in volume—whether from escalating fear or because we were getting closer was unclear—and I noticed with a sinking feeling something that should have been obvious as day: they weren't firing back. It was as if they were sitting ducks in the water. Why weren't they fighting back? That made it boring—and cruel—to continue our onslaught.

The first mate raised his hand to cease the firing. A temporary ceasefire until he could figure out the situation I assumed. At least he wasn't completely merciless. That captain, however…

Now that we were closer, I could see the elaborate decorations on the Belleza. For a ship, she was beautiful. Someone had taken painstaking time to add on gold leaf plating and even the name of the ship was engraved with silver letters. The Belleza's figurehead was a beautiful woman with long, dark hair and alluring eyes. It made me wonder why the Pretear's figurehead was a strange combo of weaponry—a sword, an axe, a whip, a thin cannon, an arrow, a chakra—held in the six arms of a demonic woman.

After admiring the ship decorations, I realized that the ship had no cannons whatsoever. What kind of ship travels without any sort of defense? And the meager crew that I could see was hoisting a white flag in response to our black one.

I turned away. This was too pathetic. I hoped we would just turn around and look for a more worthy target for looting. A defenseless ship like this one probably didn't even have anything worth taking.

And then the grappling hooks were released. I watched in horror as the crew made their way over to the Belleza, drawing their swords amid the screaming. I could tell that more than men or able-bodied crewmembers, the Belleza held women and children. And the crew of the Pretear went in greedily, cutting down the children and the men who fought back—few men as it was. I watched as a kid around my age looked at me with tears streaming down his cheeks before a sword sliced him in half.

I didn't want to keep watching anymore. This was cruel, plain and simple. This wasn't adventurous or even daring. It was…

I found myself vomiting as I saw that kid's body get sliced into two over and over in my mind. It wasn't fair…it wasn't fair…it wasn't fair…

"I told you to get below deck, didn't I?" Go cried out, grabbing me by my shirt.

I caught his expression and it was one filled with pain.

So this was why Awayuki and Go looked as jaded as they did. They knew the truth—they knew what it was like to be a pirate. And I understood why he had tried to get rid of me so many times. Because he was an idiot and cared about me. Because he didn't want me to see anything like this. Because he didn't want me to be caught up in all of this.

I didn't want to look so pathetic, but I was crying all the same. Loud, obnoxious sobs with hiccupping. That kid…that kid…he was so…frightened…that kid…this kid…so frightened…this kid…me…

I felt big arms grab me into a hug, burying my face into a broad chest. And I stayed there; crying and shaking in anger long after the capture had finished.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Violation of Trust

Himeno

He hauled me back with a strength that I could not counter. I struggled with tears of rage threatening to escape from my eyes, but his iron grip would not yield. I bit my lip trying to erase what I had just seen from my memory. But it was no good. The women—the young women with so much hope for the future—brought aboard bound and without hope to this hell ship had no future anymore. If they even survived the night…

Hayate threw me onto the bed and slammed the cabin door. His breathing was uneven and he kept his eyes averted. He seemed to be struggling with himself as he leaned heavily against the door. He brought his hand to his face as if trying to hide his expression even more.

Was he feeling guilt? Or pain, as he knew for sure what would happen to those women? Did he feel responsible? Even so, I could not forgive what he had allowed to happen. He may be the captain's dog, but he was better than that. I believed he was better than that…

I got to my feet and rushed towards the door, ready to take advantage of his moment of weakness to make myself out of the cabin. I was ready to fight off the entire crew with my bare hands if necessary to save those women. I had watched helpless as the Belleza was taken without a fight, innocents slaughtered like animals, those who surrendered bound and taken aboard. My pistol was poised in my hand ready to shoot—and how I had wanted to shoot the crew of the Pretear with every fiber of my being!—but Hayate's sword hilt was against my back, a warning against any rash action.

Any now he had the gall to trap me in his cabin! I rushed forward towards the door, hoping to force my way through by taking him by surprise, but he was more than ready for me. His arm snaked around me and held fast, binding me to him. I looked at him with rage and was met with an expression that was as stern as it was gentle.

Don't you dare look like that! I wanted to scream at him. For I sensed from that single expression what was passing through his mind as he kept me trapped. He was keeping me safe—the only woman aboard who would not feel Sasame's cruelty—because it was the only thing he could do. Save the life of one woman while countless others…

And Hayate began to cry. It was a simply a few tears that escaped from his eyes, but it was enough to make me pause. I felt my vision swim even as I tried to escape his grasp. When he tried to pull me closer to him, I resisted and fell backwards away from him.

"Don't touch me," I hissed looking away from him to avoid seeing his pained expression once again, "This is your sin as well…allowing that monster to do as he pleases…"

"Yes, it is indeed my sin. For I am the reason he is that way now" he said softly.

I looked at him with a puzzled expression. I thought he would deny my words, defend his captain as he always did. But even he could not defend his captain's honor now. But he still accepted it—accepted it the way a parent blindly loved their children, overlooking even the crudest of flaws—even as he knew the twisted truth. Why?

"Which is why I cannot let you leave this room. I cannot let you go on your suicide mission," he continued in the soft voice he had spoken in before. It was almost as if he were containing a multitude of emotions beneath that veneer of serenity.

A suicide mission—it would be worth my life to protect these women—to exact my revenge on the man who killed my first mate…and most likely killed my sister as well. My sister was beautiful and pure, an angel to our family. There was no way she had escaped his notice. If indeed she had been captured aboard this ship, as I feared—

I opened my mouth to retort to his statements when the screaming began. Horror filled my mind as my heart began to thump in fear. The screams of pure terror that I heard radiating through the very walls of the ship could have only resulted from—I did not want to think of it. I shuddered and tried to close my eyes, but I was frozen in place. Unable to move, unable to breath as the screams penetrated me.

"Himeno!" Hayate called out to me. I had somehow fallen to the floor—perhaps my legs had given way—but I still not speak or breathe. I would fade fast, escape from this reality where human dignity was not respected into my own internal darkness…

Hands covered my ears, dulling the sounds of the screams. And I was suddenly surrounded by warmth. The knot in my chest unraveled enough for me to begin to breathe once more. And the dam was opened.

"I'm sorry," Hayate breathed, holding me close to him as I trembled with tears streaming down my cheeks, "I'm so sorry."

He held me gently at first, then pulled me in tighter as if he, too, were holding himself together by the embrace. Two survivors of a shipwreck trying desperately not to drown. What had Hayate done all the times this had happened when he was alone? Drown in the horror and guilt alone?

The screaming suddenly stopped. I shuddered as my imagination took over for myself. I could not fool myself. The screaming had not stopped because Sasame had taken mercy on the poor woman. No…he had probably ended the job by slitting her throat…but perhaps that was mercy in itself.

Suddenly every woman aboard became my sister in my mind. I saw her suffering through Sasame's cruelty and dying in the worst way possible, her happiness, her hopes and her dignity crushed, her neck streaming blood as that monster laughed at his triumph. For her to see him, an evil manifest, as the last thing before she passed—it was unforgivable.

I dug my fingernails into Hayate's arms in frustration. I saw him wince and pulled back but could not conceal my anger and the keen desire to kill from my expression. Perhaps it had been the first time I had ever allowed such an expression in his presence, for he suddenly went pale.

"Himeno," he said, more of an attempt to reach me than a question. His gaze was suddenly too kind; kindness derived from an attempt to assuage anger. A kindness he seemed all too familiar with. And one that I could not trust.

For in my anger I knew what I had suspected all along: had Sasame truly taken an interest in me following the mutiny, my fate would have been the same as the women taken aboard now. And Hayate had done nothing but wait to see how Sasame would act. His relief when I was safe but his inaction while I was in danger spoke to a contradiction deep within him that left me purely unable to trust this man. I hated his kindness and his guilt, his sensitivity yet his ferocity.

"My sister," I hissed, "was one of the many women whom you caused to die."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: To Be Worth His Time

Hayate

I knew this would happen again. No matter how much time passed, the seeds of corruption that I had caused to be planted within Sasame only continued to grow despite my efforts to curtail them. I had hoped the capture of the passenger ship would only result in captives to trade, but I realized that I had been naïve. Sasame's excitement over this capture was not for the springboard it would provide the Pretear for her future endeavors, but for the pleasure he could derive in torturing the women brought aboard.

And I understood why he felt a compulsion to assert his dominance. But it only made it worse that I understood. For the act itself I could not forgive him for—but my understanding of his psyche only made me unable to act. As I had not acted back then…

_When she had been brought aboard, she was calm as if she had accepted her fate and did not fear it. But when I met her emerald green eyes, they were blazing with defiance, a defiance to live through the hardships because she believed in a brighter future. Such unshakable confidence moved me—her hope was intoxicating—and I knew I wanted her to be free from Sasame's wrath. _

_For the first time, I made a request to Sasame—to keep her to myself. He seemed amused, but thought little else of it at the time and agreed. After all, he conceded, I had earned my nightly pleasures as well. _

_But it was not her body I had sought after. I simply wanted to be in her presence, to speak with her and gain that hope and light that she had within her. With her, I felt at peace and—I daresay—at times a true happiness. _

_But even she could not free me from my own darkness…_

And once again, I had been drawn to a woman possessed by light, but a light that contained such ferocity that it was slowly making the chains that bound me crumble. There were times that I could gain freedom from my swirling thoughts just by watching her at work. She was hope but a fighter as well. Keeping her near helped me feel that I was moving forward and that I would be able to find happiness—for myself and for Sasame. My seemingly hopeless task of freeing Sasame from his own twisted self seemed attainable, when before it had only been an excuse I had given myself in order to continue with this life I had chosen.

I would not let this new light in my life throw her life away uselessly. I kept a close eye on her during the capture—if such a miserable event could be called a capture—with the excuse of her actions during the mutiny. I thought she would see through my shallow excuse to keep her near me, but she seemed to accept it at face value. Every now and again, though, I was afraid she would truly shoot—and then be worth Sasame's time. Be worth the time he took to slowly savor his punishment as he destroyed her piece by piece…

I could not allow that to happen. She was keeping me together when my coherency was often paper thin, when the past would flood into the present and consume my breath. She made me believe that I had a future to look forward to—and that I could one day forgive myself for the past.

Seeing the passengers—especially the women—come aboard was too much for Himeno, as it was for me. It was as if every woman I was seeing was _her_. To repeatedly be reminded of my failure to save her…I needed to go to my cabin now. Sasame and Kei had the situation under control, so I could recover and regain my senses alone—

That stupid tulip head girl! She had not only kept her pistol at the ready to shoot at Sasame, but her sword was unsheathed and in her hand as well. I blanched as I thought of her next move—she was too honorable to allow the captives to end up in their fate after all—and moved quickly to thwart her.

With the speed that rivaled Sasame's power, I knocked both the gun and sword out of her hands and picked her up. She resisted with a ferocity that I had not yet known she possessed, and with my flagging sanity, I had to make it back to the cabin now.

When I made it to the cabin, I flung her over to the bed and slammed the door, my breathing shaky as I struggled to maintain my position as her guard while trying to keep a lid on the memories that threatened to seep into my consciousness. Memories I had locked away…

_During one of those rare moments we could be alone on deck, we stood by the railing, enjoying the moonlight. She was quietly humming to herself, watching the reflection of the moon in the water. Her presence made even the chilly wind feel warm against my skin. Seeing her shudder, I placed my jacket around her shoulders and encircled my arm about her. _

"_It's a beautiful night," she remarked, leaning her head against my shoulder. _

"_That it is," I replied, for her presence made the evening more beautiful than it would have been otherwise. _

_We remained quiet after that, simply enjoying the luxury of each other's company. The wide, expansive ocean ahead of us with the beaming moon floating in the waves—I truly felt the feeling of being free upon the waters—captivated me in what I felt must be the true spirit of being a pirate. The sense of endless adventure beyond that horizon and a future together…_

_Unable to express the emotions that welled inside of me as I stood by her gazing at the ocean, I turned and kissed her. After that brief encounter of our lips, I pulled away and gazed at her flushed expression. Her bright eyes, trusting and open, and her soft, red lips welcoming—I leaned in once again, this time for a longer, deeper kiss. I felt her arms wrapping around me and lost myself in her warmth, desiring to stay in that place forever…_

"_What a romantic evening," a voice cut through the darkness. The edge in that voice cut through the aura we had formed like a knife, slicing us apart, destroying the illusion of freedom and forever we had created in that moment. _

_We separated from our embrace, and her previously flushed face was now drained of color. Her open, trusting eyes were filled with fear. I wrapped my arm around her protectively—but not protectively enough to save her…_

My arm wrapped around Himeno's middle in a tight grip. That stupid girl was trying to fight her way out of the one place she could be guaranteed some semblance of safety now. Did she even realize what fate would befall her if she…no, she did know. She acted with the full knowledge of what would happen to her. Selfless, brave idiocy…

I could not let her go. I would not allow her to place herself in danger again. I had been remiss of watching over her before; I would not allow that again. I would not allow her safety to be compromised ever again…I would not fail to protect Himeno like I had failed before…

I tried to frighten her into staying, but the desperately weak part of me must have seeped through in my expression, for she recoiled from me. She was afraid of me, but disgusted as well. And why shouldn't she? I allowed Sasame to kill innocents mercilessly, I allowed him to ravage innocent women, and I allowed him to…

_He came into my room with a confident look on his face. No, confident wasn't the right word—he was filled with glee, like a child who had something to show to their parents, something praiseworthy. A single phrase and my world was shattered—the world of the endless horizon and future dreams—and I realized my folly, my weakness, and the eternal darkness I would be trapped in. _

_For my sin…_

Unbeknownst to me, tears began to fall. As soon as I realized, I tried to rein them in. I did not mind if Himeno saw my weakness—she knew many of my pathetic sides already—but I had promised myself that I would not cry. I did not deserve to cry. I was not the victim, but rather the perpetrator. There would not be any sympathy for me. Not from others, and especially not from myself.

"Don't touch me," she hissed, "This is your sin as well…allowing that monster to do as he pleases…"

Yes, I thought, that was absolutely true. This girl saw through me perfectly…then there was nothing to hide. No excuses to make. She did not believe in the illusion of myself like _she _had. All the better…

"Yes, it is indeed my sin. For I am the reason he is that way now," I said softly.

For try as I might to protect her, I could not protect her from myself. As long as she never forgot the monster that I could be—that I still was—the monster in the shadows, pulling at the strings of the purple-eyed demon, she would be truly safe. And I could continue holding her dear to me, in the darkness where she could not see…

"Which is why I cannot let you leave this room. I cannot let you go on your suicide mission," I continued. It was all I could do to hold back the memories of _her, _and to hold back my desire to reach out to Himeno to reassure her with lies.

And then the screaming began. I retreated within myself, knowing full well what Sasame was doing. For the first few passenger ships that we had captured as the crew of the Pretear, he had made me stay in his cabin as he took one woman after another, forcing his way inside of them as they screamed and pleaded and eventually turned into hollow shells with no hope. The ones that crumbled during the process, he let live to see several more women raped before he ended their lives. The ones with spirit, who cursed him the entire time, who fought him back—as soon as he climaxed, he slit her throat.

And I stood there immobile, as countless women had reached out to me for help that they would not receive in their last moments…

At the sound of the first scream, Himeno had frozen in place as if she could not—did not—wish to process what was happening. Her helplessness and her fear and her anger held her in place…until she fell to the ground.

"Himeno!" I called out to her, realizing that she had stopped breathing. Please no, I thought, forcing her limp arms up to cover her ears. Please let her breathe once more…

_Her eyes were blank and lifeless, the very opposite of the life I had seen in them when I had first met her. Her hope and the light within her had been extinguished; Sasame had given me back only her empty body. I brought her close to me, trying desperately to feed my warmth into her. I felt her heart beating faintly, but otherwise all other signs of life seemed absent. It was as if her strong desire to live had been removed. And I held her tight as sobs wracked my body…_

"I'm sorry," I breathed, holding her closer to me, "I'm so sorry."

I was allowing for the same thing to happen again—for the light to be swallowed up in darkness once more. I could not let her succumb to that, but was I strong enough to save her?

_Blood seeped from underneath my cabin door. In a panic, I forced open the door. My mind stopped functioning as I realized what I was looking at. A beautiful figure lay on the bed, surrounded by a sea of red—her wrists and throat bleeding out the physical manifestation of the life force she had lost already. I sunk to my knees and let out a silent scream that tore through my whole being…_

I came to when I felt fingernails digging into my skin. I winced in the familiar sensation and recoiled as I saw the raw hatred emanating from Himeno's eyes. Was I too late already? Had she already been swallowed up by the darkness…?

"Himeno," I said, trying to pull her out of the dark swamp that was threatening to drag her under. I gazed at her, silently pleading for her to return to me. Return to the pure form that she had been…

"My sister," she suddenly hissed, "was one of the many women whom you caused to die."

I looked at her in shock. Her anger—and her distrust of me—suddenly made sense, as did her tenacious desire to stay aboard this ship. And suddenly I felt the clear water in my hand seep through and turn into mud. Himeno had the ferocity that _she _had never had because Himeno had already fallen from light. Revenge had pulled her into the darkness already—a reason I had felt kinship to her from the beginning.

And I suddenly felt a strong desire to break her free from the darkness—before it was too late. Before she became like me. Before the darkness defined her very being and held her captive, even from death.

I bowed my head before her, handing her my sword. I was taking a gamble, but I hoped it would be worth the result if I succeeded.

"If my death will atone for your sister's loss, please," I said, indicating to the sword. She clutched at the sword, trembling, torn between her decisions. After several moments when I remained as I was, tense due to her unpredictability, she threw the sword aside.

"I do not believe you killed her yourself. But I can believe you stood there and watched her as she helplessly died at your captain's hands. Until I have proof of what truly occurred, I will spare your life," she said in a cold voice that sent chills down my spine.

My gamble had failed. For though she did not kill me now, her desire to kill had not abated. And I realized I had to act fast to keep her from sinking into her hatred. I stood up and took the sword from the floor. I unsheathed it, gave myself a moment to brace myself, and slashed my chest hard. She watched me in horror as blood oozed into my white shirt.

Gritting my teeth from the pain, I said, "By this I swear to you. When the time comes when you discover the truth of what happened to your sister, I will give myself to you to do as you choose."

I had gone too far. Her pupils had dilated in shock from my action and she remained frozen once more. I placed my hand on her chin and forced her gaze to meet mine. She snapped out of her immobile state and responded to my gaze with a gaze of fierce determination. There was the Himeno that I knew—the Himeno that I was determined not to lose.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: A Foolish Act of Heroism

Mannen

I was angry. Angry at myself for being so stupid and naïve, and angry at myself for being unable to do anything but vomit and cry while the rest of the crew of the Belleza was either killed or taken aboard. Go had brought me over to his work cabin to prevent me from seeing anymore of the capture, but it was too late. He gave me a sad look before he headed out of his cabin to return to his duty.

I clenched my hands into fists in frustration. None of the blows my former master had given me had stung like this. A sharp blow told me how insignificant and foolish I had been.

"Damn!" I cried out, punching the floor.

The floor did not even give; instead my knuckles felt sore. I grimaced and punched the floor again. And again. I continued even though my knuckles were bleeding.

I was crying again with my teeth gritted in pain. I would have continued punching the floor—but then the screams began. The high-pitched screams of women. This time I wasn't being delusional about what I was hearing. I had been in a brothel long enough to know what sounds a woman made when a man was forcing himself on her. What I was hearing now was that sound amplified by fear.

And there was only one person aboard this ship that could inspire that kind of fear.

I stopped my pummeling of the floor and stood up. I wasn't dumb enough to try to save the women who were already at his mercy, but I could at least save the others.

And I would do it by taking advantage of the fact that I was just a cabin boy who no one paid much attention to. I picked up a series of daggers and slid them into my belt, my boots and strapped some near my ankle and wrists. Just in case.

I made my way back onto deck. Unlike the majority of the ship below deck, where there was always some activity, especially after a capture, the deck was deserted save for Go looking out at sea. His back was turned towards me, however, so I made my way across the deck without making much noticeable noise. Which wasn't hard considering the screams were drowning everything else.

I caught Go's side profile as I passed. He looked like he was ready to blow a fuse any moment. His entire face was tense and I swore I could see a muscle twitch every time the screams escalated. His hands were clenched and I was sad to see that his knuckles were oozing red as well. I wondered what wall or floor had received brutal treatment from his fists before continuing on.

Part of me wanted to get his help, but he had looked too angry. And besides, I figured he would try and stop me anyway. I wasn't going to let anyone stop me.

I made my way below deck, meandering my way to the cargo hold, which was bustling with activity. Loot was being brought aboard, catalogued and stored away. I suspected from the casual way the crew was handling the loot that it was nothing of great value.

As I wove my way through the crew, I was greeted with angry curses as I got in the way of their work of transporting the loot. But I was long gone before they could process truly what had gotten in their way. I was headed toward the stern of the ship, my heart thudding louder and louder. I bit my lip and kept going. There was nothing to be afraid of—the biggest threat was currently occupied.

As I continued forward, my anger was keeping me from feeling too scared. I was shaking. I was anxious that I would be able to pull this off, but at the same time I knew I had to do this. I couldn't do nothing and stay angry like Go had.

I made it past the cargo hold, moving away from the hustle and bustle of storing loot. My presence would become more obvious now that I couldn't hide in the thick of the crew.

But I was good at sneaking around.

I kept in the shadows, making my way quickly from one dark patch to another. There were occasional members of the crew heading past me, so I tried to keep my ears sharp and react fast to hide myself whenever someone passed me by. If I was discovered this far astern, there were very few excuses I could give.

I wasn't going to be a coward. I was doing the right thing, but that didn't make me any calmer. I hadn't seen any sign of that first mate and that worried me. My best guess was that he was the one guarding the prisoners.

The sounds of sobbing and wailing reaching my ears, and I knew I was heading in the right direction. I suddenly felt guilty that I had been so excited for this capture. As if I had personally been responsible for the horrible fate of those unfortunate passengers of the Belleza. No, I was responsible. I did nothing, watching the horrors unfolding around me. I couldn't leave things as they were. I would not be able to forgive myself for being so useless. For being so selfish…

I could see the torches flickering in the distance, and

As I approached the brig, I pulled out a single dagger and kept it at the ready—

There was not a single guard in sight. I frowned. I wasn't expecting it to be this easy. It never was this easy. I stayed on guard as I moved forward. When I came into view of the prisoners, I inwardly grimaced at the state they were in.

Many of the men were shackled and chained to the walls, while the few older women that were in the large cell were crowded in the center. I saw very few kids near my age and briefly wondered who had gotten the worse deal—the kids who had gotten killed on the ship or the ones who had to continue living through the horror of getting captured.

Better to be alive, I decided. One of the men looked up at me and in his eyes I saw myself reflected—a haggard looking kid with dirtied white hair, blood-crusted hands holding a dagger. Not exactly the savior someone would want. But I was better than nothing, right?

As that man continued to watch me suspiciously, one of the women cried out, "He's here to kill us all! God save us!"

I froze, anger flooding my every expression. I was trying to save them! Why were they making my job harder?

"Shhh!" I said urgently, "I'm here to help you all escape, but you need to be quiet!"

The woman whimpered then went still.

"Can we trust you?" someone from the back called out, "And what's your plan to get us out of here?"

"The crew is busy in the hold loading loot, so if I can get you all to the main deck, we can get access to the rowboats and you'll be on your way," I explained, looking left and right to make sure all the noise hadn't attracted unwanted attention.

"Thank you," a small voice whispered, and I looked down to see a girl near my age smiling up at me from her curled position on the ground. I grimaced when I noticed that her legs had been twisted, making it unable for her to walk, let alone stand up.

I would save them all regardless.

I looked around for the key and saw it hung on a peg high on the wall. I put the dagger in my mouth and nodded in what I hoped was a reassuring way. I began my climb up the wall to reach the key. It was difficult—the wooden walls had little traction—but I used my daggers to scale my way upward. I figured if I had been an adult's height, I would have been able to leap up to reach the keys. Yet another time that I wished I wasn't a just a kid.

I sighed in relief when I finally reached the keys. As soon as I grabbed them—ready to jump down to save time—I heard a voice that made me freeze in my tracks.

"After releasing our prisoners, what were you planning on doing next?"

I pulled the daggers I had been using to scale the wall and launched myself down. I was in perfect position to strike from above. I gritted my teeth against the impact and swung my daggers forward—but was too slow. A strong kick to the stomach sent me flying and I hit the wall behind me hard.

Wheezing and doubled over in pain, I looked up still not ready to give up. I heard a whimper behind me and thought it was the girl who had thanked me. I needed to save her—I needed to save all of them. I had to…

I pulled out the daggers from my boots, but before I could slice forward, I was punched hard in the face. I struggled to maintain consciousness. I spat out blood and felt something hard follow. From my position on the floor, I could see the chip of a tooth encased in blood. I tried to get to my feet, but my body didn't want to move. I was used to beatings—but not like this. These were attacks with the intention to not vent anger—but potentially to kill.

Fear. Fear broke through my guilt and anger. Fear flooded my system and I rose. I did not want to die. Better to be alive—

"You don't give up."

It was a cold observation, objective and removed. As expected from Kei.

"This has gone long enough," Kei stated. While I knew I was lucky that it had been Kei that had found me and not the first mate, I knew that my inevitable fate was only delayed. Kei was unforgiving when it came to profitable loot. He didn't even consider the prisoners as people…they were only a means…they were only objects to him…

"They're people!" I cried out, making a final lunge forward towards Kei.

With very little apparent effort, he punched me in the abdomen and grabbed me hard to prevent me from flying backwards. His grip was like iron around me, but I flailed and continued to struggle.

As Kei carried me out of the brig, I was followed by the sound of the woman from earlier that shrieked, "There is no hope! God save us all!"

Frustration. More than anything else, I was frustrated. It was keeping at bay any fear at what would happen to me. I continued to struggle to set myself free, but Kei was unrelenting. And nothing I could say or do change his mind. He was set in his ways of protocol. He lived by a written code of rules. A part of my mind wandered and thought wryly that he was a strange pirate indeed. A pirate who followed rules…

We passed through the main deck—and passed by Go. His eyes widened when he saw me. My frustration turned rapidly turned into shame when I saw him. I averted my eyes.

"Kei," he called out.

Kei turned and nodded in greeting.

"Where are you taking him?" Go asked. I continued to look away, trying my hardest not to make my eye contact with him.

"To Hayate. I caught him trying to set the prisoners free," Kei responded matter-of-factly before turned away and continuing on his way. I sneaked a final look at Go and he had a look of absolute horror on his face. He was frozen in place, looking even more dejected than before.

Yep, I knew I was screwed now. Hayate would kill me for sure. Just like Kei followed his rule and lived his life that way, Hayate followed the absolute rules of the captain. And I couldn't imagine the captain showing me any mercy.

And as if I had summoned him from my thoughts, I heard the screams from his cabin once more. Below deck I had been fortunate and not heard the screams, but they projected out from the captain's cabin all throughout the main deck with clarity. Echoing my frightening fate.

At the very least, I had one dagger left, hidden away in my belt. I just needed to use surprise to my advantage…

Kei knocked on Hayate's cabin door. The door swung open and Hayate emerged, his upper body bandaged and bleeding. I couldn't imagine that he got injured during the past capture—but no matter. This just made it easier for me.

"Kei?" Hayate inquired.

"This one was attempting to release the captives," Kei stated.

Hayate nodded and looked down at me. I looked up and glared.

"Thank you Kei. I will take it from here," Hayate responded, sounding almost weary.

Kei released me—and I took my chance. I flailed out of his loosening grasp, slashed his arm with my final dagger and began to run. To where, I had no idea. Perhaps I would take a rowboat myself and get myself off this ship. I had made it partway across the main deck and was in sight of the rowboats when I felt myself being slammed onto the deck.

I squirmed and looked up and realized that it was Go who was pinning me to the deck floor.

"Why?" I said through gritted teeth, but he indicated with his one free hand to remain silent.

So I decided to trust the idiot.

Hayate made his way over to us at a leisurely pace as if he never truly believed I could escape—or if he simply didn't care if I did. It hurt my pride that I was considering that insignificant; on the other hand, it was fortunate that he thought so. It suggested he could let this slide.

"Thank you, Go," Hayate said. I felt Go's hand on me stiffen as if revolted by the thought of getting complimented by Hayate.

"I'm responsible for this," Go began. I looked up at him in horror and began to open my mouth to protest when he took his other hand and clamped it over my mouth.

"I ordered him to set the captives free. Even though he protested against it, I coerced him into doing it. I was waiting for him on the deck to bring them here, so we could lead them safely out via the rowboats," Go explained in a single breath.

Hayate cocked an eyebrow in what I can imagine to be one of the most skeptical looks he had given someone. He studied Go for a moment and then sighed.

"Very well. But as both of you are involved in this plot I shall determine punishment for both of you," Hayate stated. Go opened his mouth in protest, but Hayate raised a hand to silence him.

"I will deal with you first Go. You can release the boy. He won't run, unless he is comfortable with the fact that his escape will mean a more severe punishment for you," Hayate continued, his dark blue eyes drilling into mine.

He was right, of course. As long as I knew any rash decision I made would hurt Go more—I sagged in defeat. I felt the fatigue from the day's events wash over me and suddenly I just wanted everything to be over. I could do nothing, and would continue to be able to do nothing. Do nothing but continue living, and become apathetic to the fate of others.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Stuck in the Doldrums

Go

The wind had gradually slowed until it had ceased entirely. The sails hung limp when only a day earlier they had billowed out from the force of the wind, propelling the Pretear towards the Belleza. Could have been better for the poor passengers of the Belleza had the wind chosen to die down the previous day; but then again, the wind cared little for the fate of humans who dared to sail the seas.

Although it was not yet midday, the heat was sweltering. As the wind strength diminished, we moved slower and slower until we came to a stop entirely. And the captain was too occupied otherwise to give orders to the crew to row out of the doldrums.

Despite the lack of wind and the heat, I stayed on the main deck, as I had for most of the previous evening. From here, I could continue to hear the screams of the women Sasame raped and then killed. From here, I could try to rekindle some semblance of humanity within myself to not remain the bystander once again.

The night after the capture had been uneventful—or so I initially thought. The crew was busy moving the loot—mostly clothes and finery from the gentry who were aboard the Belleza—and Sasame was busy with his hobby of playing with the young women from any passenger ship capture. And then I saw Mannen running in my direction, looking like he had received a severe beating. In his eyes, I sensed a primal fear and knew that whatever he had done was not trivial. So I did the only thing I could do.

I improvised. I pinned Mannen down to the deck, listening hard to Kei and Hayate's voices in the distance. This foolish brat had tried to free the prisoners! I didn't know whether to be proud of him or to be afraid for his fate. I needed to do something quickly to keep him from receiving what would inevitably be his punishment—a walk off the plank into the shark-infested waters we were currently in. My mind raced with the thought of seeing Mannen cut open by Sasame's blade and forced into the water, only to be torn apart by razor sharp teeth.

I shuddered inwardly at the thought and continued to pin Mannen down, despite his struggling. He looked up at me in confusion, and I put a finger to my lips to indicate to him to be quiet.

"Thank you, Go," Hayate said. I stiffened in response. The last thing I ever wanted was to be complimented by him. It was revolting. I suppressed the feeling and continued with the feeble plan I had developed to save Mannen.

"I'm responsible for this," I began. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Mannen about to open his stupid mouth and protest, so I clamped his mouth shut with my hand.

"I ordered him to set the captives free. Even though he protested against it, I coerced him into doing it. I was waiting for him on the deck to bring them here, so we could lead them safely out via the rowboats," I explained.

Idiot! A simple explanation would have sufficed! Instead, my long-winded explanation was a huge red flag for Hayate that I was lying. But I had little hope that he wouldn't see through any lie regardless.

And unsurprisingly, Hayate gave me one of his I-don't-even-partially-believe-you looks and studied me quietly. I felt sweat began to leak out of—well, everywhere—and simply hoped for the best.

"Very well. But as both of you are involved in this plot I shall determine punishment for both of you," Hayate stated.

No! Mannen would still—the sharks—but I needed to do something—something to convince Hayate otherwise—to let Mannen go—to overlook this incident—

I opened my mouth in protest, but Hayate raised a hand to silence me.

"I will deal with you first Go. You can release the boy. He won't run, unless he is comfortable with the fact that his escape will mean a more severe punishment for you," Hayate continued.

That seemed fair. At the very least, it gave me more time to bargain with Hayate. I felt my thoughts come together again at the reprieve. I followed him into his cabin silently. I knew he would see through my blatant lie, but I had no other means of alleviating Mannen's punishment. It was my fault in a way. I should have been keeping a better eye on him, stayed with him. Instead, I left him on his own to deal with the aftermath of seeing his first capture. I left him on his own because I didn't trust that I could pull it together enough to comfort the poor kid. I left him alone because I was too wrapped up in my own uselessness.

As the door shut behind me, I just hoped Hayate was in a forgiving mood. I looked up and met Hayate's gaze. He was studying me again, as if his thoughts were coming from somewhere far away.

"I know you were not involved in the attempt to release the prisoners. You have been, and continue to be, a coward," Hayate stated.

The words stung. They stung because they were true. I _was _a coward. I had been a coward as a child, I continued to be a coward after being captured and I would continue to be a coward simply to survive. I had been a coward when I kept my mouth shut when Awayuki was captured after the mutiny. I felt guilt wash over me when I remembered how I had and continued to keep silent. At least this time, I would try to protect Mannen by taking the blow myself.

I nodded in response to Hayate's statement.

"Then you agree that you lied to a superior officer?" Hayate asked, his voice getting chillingly softer.

I remained silent, returning Hayate's gaze. Slowly, the general anger I felt whenever I was near Hayate seeped back into consciousness, washing away the feelings of shame and guilt I had been experiencing. But I needed to be careful. Any defiance now would not only hurt me, but would also hurt Mannen. I kept silent, trying to bottle the hatred I felt for the man in front of me.

_I was only a boy when I saw him kill my brother before my eyes. _

_ We had been apprenticed to our master for three years when the crew of the Pretear came to make their purchase. It was our master's greed that had caused it all to begin. _

_ The captain of the Pretear had been a regular customer of our shop since shortly after my brother and I began working for our master. My brother Ren's craftsmanship caught the eye of the first mate of the Pretear, and ever since then, he would drop by our shop from time to time for weapons. _

_ This time was no different. _

_ "I would like to place an order for three dozen rapiers," the first mate announced. _

_ Every time he would drop by, I tended to stay back in the smithy and continue my work rather than go into the shop. There was something eerie about him that made me feel uncomfortable. _

_The one time I sneaked a look at him, I saw that he looked around my older brother Ren's age, had long dark hair pulled up into a tight ponytail and sharp, almost jet black eyes. He was always dressed in finer clothes than most pirates I saw come to the shop. His gaze turned to me briefly as I was observing him and I felt my blood freeze from that look. Here, I thought then, was a true pirate—inspiring fear from a single glance. _

_Ever since that one time that curiosity had gotten the better of me, I avoided seeing him. Ren continued to handle the sales himself. I was impressed with him for being immune to that first mate's gaze. He was a far braver man than I would ever be. I was always hiding behind my brother and allowing him to protect me. _

I had not stood up for myself, and definitely had not stood up to protect anyone else back then. It was time for me to play the older brother now, I thought wryly.

The longer the silence continued, the more I felt a sense of dread overcome me. Hayate was in a particularly unpredictable mood, and I had no way of gauging what he would do next. In moments like these, he uncannily reminded me of Sasame.

_I wondered what sort of captain that first mate sailed under. I imagined him to be even scarier—but I could not fathom what that meant. Sure, I had seen plenty of scum do business at the shop, but the first mate of the Pretear was different. Like he was in a different class of pirate altogether. _

_That fateful day, our master had decided to handle the sales. He was amazingly not extremely hung over and seemed determined to get involved in the shop. _

"_Get outta the way, boy," he said, roughly shoving my brother aside. _

"_Forgive me," Ren responded, bowing in apology. _

_I didn't understand why my brother needed to apologize. He was just doing his job anyway, and did it much better than our master could. All he was doing was working hard, day in and day out. It wasn't fair that he was treated that way. _

"_You don't need to apologize," I said in protest. He just smiled and ruffled my hair, as he had done many times before then. _

_I didn't realize then that in order for me to have the comfortable life I did, my brother had sacrificed his pride. _

As I was doing now.

In order to survive, I kept quiet and kept my head bowed. I had failed to do anything to protect others—whether it was protecting the cabin boy before Awayuki came aboard, or protecting Awayuki. I wouldn't make the same mistake with Mannen.

"I take responsibility for my actions," I responded, bowing my head. Silence continued. I looked up and saw that Hayate was studying me with an expression that made me freeze in fear.

He was studying me with the same intensity he had studied my master that day when he made the mistake of demanding an exorbitant price for the rapiers that the first mate had requested.

"_My captain was under the impression that the bulk price of the rapiers was—" the first mate began in a cool and rational tone. _

"_Ah, ye see, these are fine swords, yes sir. I've been givin' ye all too much of a bargain with 'em," our master responded, seemingly nonchalantly as if he did not hear the undertone of a threat in the first mate's voice. _

_He studied our master carefully, his eyes unmoving, his lips pursed. He was angry, but it was contained anger, seeping out only through his unflinching gaze and the twitch of muscle by his eye. It was the anger in response to the insult to his—and his captain's—pride. And my master was too dense to realize it. _

"_Perhaps we can come to an agreement then," the first mate stated finally. _

_My master was completely ignoring the rage happening before him. Oblivious to it—whether intentionally or unintentionally, I could not tell. I just wish I had stopped him then from saying anything further. If I had, perhaps…_

"_Non-negotiable. If ye really want 'em, pay up!" _

_Silence greeted his statement. I averted my eyes. I was too afraid of seeing how the first mate's anger would manifest next. _

"_My captain will not appreciate this," the first mate warned and left the shop. _

I tried to prepare myself for the worst.

Hayate was about to speak when a new string of screams began once more. He once more looked as if his thoughts were no longer here, as if what was occurring now had no significance to him at all.

"You are dismissed," he stated.

I looked at him in surprise.

"What?" I said, regretting the single word that had escaped from my mouth.

"I stated that you were dismissed," Hayate repeated.

He was looking at me with the same emotionless eyes now as he had back then.

_The same emotionless eyes that peered at me through a face drenched in blood. The same eyes that gazed at my insignificance as his sword plunged through my brother's back. _

And I lost my last grip on my self-control. I rushed forward and grabbed Hayate by his ruffled collar with my left hand, my right hand poised in a fist to pummel him to the ground. Yet his gaze did not flicker.

"I am giving Mannen the chance to be pardoned. I do not believe you wish to ruin that chance," Hayate said in a cool and rational voice.

Trembling with anger, I released him. I watched in disgust as he readjusted his collar.

"You are dismissed, master gunner and weaponsmaster, Go," Hayate stated firmly.

I left his cabin after giving a stiff bow. What was wrong with me? It had been years since I had flown off the handle at Hayate. I thought I had been beaten down already—and had become numb. I had seen too much already; I should have been dead to anything more. Even the screams from Sasame's cabin—as timely as they were for me this time—no longer affected me the way they once had. I still felt anger, yes, but it had not manifested out of the bounds of my control like it just had since my pathetic to avenge Ren's death.

_Even before his sword was pulled out of my brother's back, I saw Ren's eyes grow dim and then still. He had his mouth open as if he were trying to tell me something. _

_I grabbed the nearest sword and charged at the first mate, blood pounding in my ears. I didn't even try to use the evasive maneuvering Ren had taught me. I only wanted to kill that man. Kill him for robbing me of the one person I had. Kill him for that indifferent look in his eyes as he took my brother's life. Kill him to ease the pain in my chest. Kill him for—_

_He parried my attack with ease and swung his bloodstained sword with enough force to send me backwards. With the look of someone doing a troublesome task, he sheathed his sword and made his way over to me. I wasn't going to give up that easily. I would keep fighting, until he was dead. Even if it took my life in the process. There was nothing now but to avenge Ren. _

_I grabbed the coals in the fire, not even minding the heat burning my palms and tossed them at him to blind him. Temporarily blinded, he would be vulnerable for the time being. I grabbed a blade that I was in the middle of welding. It had still not lost the orange glow from being treated with heat. I thought of how much it would hurt to be both burned and cut at the same time, and I smiled at the thought. _

_I swung the sword, but he reacted too quickly even as he was blinded. Sparks flew as the swords connected. I cursed myself for not being stronger of build and for not taking Ren's teachings to heart. I had treated swordsmanship as a game, as a fun activity to do with my brother. So I had never learned how to fight seriously. I had never treated swordsmanship as a means to kill. _

_He sent the sword flying from my hand. But I shifted quickly, moving to grab another handful of coals—but I felt the tip of his sword at my neck. He had restored his eyesight from my cheap trick with the coal. I shifted to move again, but felt his blade nick my neck. It was only a shallow cut, but was the first time I had been cut by an opponent's blade and fear flooded into me, replacing my anger. I looked up at him from my crouching position on the floor, fearing the worst. _

_The first mate looked at me the way one would look at a maggot. _

"_You will not struggle and come quietly now," he hissed. _

_And I followed him wordlessly, vowing to lay low and avenge Ren when the time presented itself. _

But it had been long since I thought I could truly avenge Ren. I had had too many years aboard the Pretear, and seen too much of Hayate and Sasame's power and cruelty to know that anything I did could only result in throwing my life away. I could accept being a failure, a coward. But I could not throw my life away until I knew I could avenge Ren. He deserved at least that as my final tribute to him.

I had lain low, looking for openings and opportunities that were not there. Until I had gotten far too used to just living each day. My thoughts of revenge had slipped away as I fell into a rhythm of working metal into weapons. It was comforting to escape away into my work and forget about my goal to avenge Ren. And so I had fallen into a rut of doing nothing and accepting that nothing I did mattered.

What had caused me to change so suddenly? I ran a hand through my hair in frustration, trying to calm myself down. This would not do. I was no longer risking my own life if I acted rashly. I felt responsible for Mannen and Awayuki and wanted to survive on to keep an eye on them. But perhaps I was only making further excuses to escape from attempting to exact revenge.

I sighed and headed over to the main deck. Mannen was still there, waiting for me. I ruffled his hair, relieved that he escaped retribution—at least for now.

"Don't do anything as stupid ever again, ya hear me?" I said. He nodded.

He looked defeated, as if the energy he had brought with him—and the naivety and hope—had been crushed during this incident. I worried about the impact his failure to free the prisoners would have on him. I needed to distract him—and I needed to distract myself from my own circulating thoughts.

"I think it's time for some swordplay, wouldn't ya agree?" I said. He perked up a little at the suggestion, and I smiled in return.

Mannen had been a quick study so far. He was nimble and light on his feet. But he was impatient. And he lacked the power to fight an adversary head on. Unlike with Awayuki, with whom I spent months developing his power and offensive skills, with Mannen I focused on defense. I focused on teaching him how to read his opponent's moves and to react accordingly. I was finding teaching him challenging and rewarding; it was the way Ren had taught me swordsmanship initially when I was young. But now I focused on building on strength, slowly losing the early skills my brother had taught me. Training Mannen gave me a sense of connecting with my brother that I had not felt in years; it was at once nostalgic and comforting at the same time.

"Watch my feet! It'll give a sense of where the attack will come from," I shouted as I swung the blunted-edge practice sword at Mannen with deliberate slowness and with exaggerated foot movements.

He dodged to my left—and I quickly changed the direction of my swing. Mannen shifted with a fluidity I did not think he possessed and parried with his sword before moving back.

"Great job!" I shouted encouragingly.

He nodded in response. He was breathing heavily from exertion and his brow was lined with sweat, but he looked more alive. He was definitely more focused and determined during this sparring session, which was no surprise to me given what he had just gone through.

He lunged in a straight line towards me. Easy to read as always. I parried him with ease, before I realized his lunge was simply a way for him to close the distance between us. He was now attacking me from all sides, moving quickly and trying to find an opening.

"That's it—keep your speed and position unpredictable! But remember—you're most vulnerable yourself when ya attack," I said, bringing the hilt of my sword to his exposed waist during his attack.

A light thrust with the hilt sent him backwards, and I reminded myself to hold back a bit more in my attacks when I saw him wince. But he continued without complaint, standing poised now to receive my attack. I eyed his stance. It was too wide—his attempt at adding strength to his attacks—and he was trying to have the reach of someone taller than him.

"What kinda stance is that?" I asked. He frowned, but held his weak stance. I understood what he was trying to do—trying to close the gap in ability due to physical build—but it would be useless to try that now. He needed to grow and develop his own style over time.

"Your legs are far too spread apart and your sword is held up too high!"

As he shifted his stance, I drew in for my attack—a head on lunge to mirror his—and after a moment's hesitation, I saw him dodge to the side and bring his sword to my waist. Impressed with the speed of his dodge, I allowed him the attack to my side.

He had a momentary look of contentment cross his face, which disappeared as he poised for the next bout. I reached over and ruffled his hair once more.

"Good choice to dodge instead of fighting me head on," I said.

"It's not good to fight head on all the time, right?" he said in response, his eyes turning blank. I didn't know what to say in response. I stood there awkwardly, unable to say anything while the silence stretched onwards.

I was rescued from my inability to cheer the kid up when Awayuki walked over, sword in hand, and asked, "Can I join the sparring?"

I had kept Awayuki from sparring with Mannen since their skill levels had been too far apart, but it might be just what Mannen needed now. I nodded to Awayuki, noticing how harrowed he looked. Despite what he had already seen, the passenger ship capture must have been hard for him too. Best to keep him occupied as well.

Isn't this crazy, Ren? I'm taking care of these two now, like you had taken care of me. Hope I'm not a complete disappointment to you…

I watched Awayuki and Mannen spar, shouting tips to both of them. I was proud of how well Mannen was holding his own against Awayuki. They were both fighting with intensity—intensity I did not see as much when they sparred with me. It was as if I was seeing a reflection of their mutual desire to become stronger—to reach whatever goal they wished to. That swordsmanship wasn't just a skill to learn and enjoy—but a tool to utilize. I did not blame them for thinking of swordsmanship that way, for it was only under my brother's protection that I was able to enjoy swordsmanship as an art and not as a means to kill.

As they continued to spar, the sun rose higher in the sky. With the lack of wind and the sun's heat beating down onto the ship, I knew it was only a matter of time before tempers flared. A pirate ship stuck in still waters quickly becomes an unpleasant place to be. And this time it wasn't just the usual restlessness and undertones of dissatisfaction that a ship adrift and aimless brought with it. I knew it the moment Hayate began arrived at the main deck bearing a cart full of sacks and was personally hauling them overboard.

Since Awayuki and Mannen had been sparring by the starboard side of the main deck, Hayate made his way to the port side. I still had not forgotten the surge of anger that had hit me earlier and seeing him repeat his clean up work for Sasame's sick hobby combined my anger with a sense of utter disgust. I knew then that I could not forgive him. There was nothing that would redeem him in my eyes.

And that made it all the more intolerable that I could not strike against him. And that made it all the more intolerable that Awayuki regarded him with—respect? No…it was more than that. Awayuki was _fond _of Hayate. I remembered the way his attention was fixated on Hayate during the stop at Port Royal and—even earlier than that—I remembered the way he had been cradled in Hayate's arms after almost drowning during the storm that broke the main mast.

He was the first crewmember that had broken through the wall Hayate put up. I wanted to stop Awayuki, but felt like I was no better than an observer, unable to do or change anything as Awayuki became closer to Hayate. And it was the same now.

Awayuki paused in his sparring with Mannen to look over at Hayate. I saw their eyes meet and a subtle acknowledgement passed between them. Awayuki said something in a low voice to Mannen, who nodded in response. Awayuki passed his sword over to Mannen and then began to walk over to Hayate. No! I thought, but I was frozen—too disgusted with what Hayate was doing to move towards him, but too worried about Awayuki seeing the contents of the sacks…

And Mannen. I rushed over to his side as he turned his attention towards the port side.

"Go below decks now," I said. He looked up at me, his eyes narrowing.

"Trust me on this one," I said, ruffling his hair. He nodded solemnly and headed below. I sighed in relief. At least he would be spared. Awayuki, on the other hand—

Had already pried open a sack. I saw his face contort in horror, but he continued to gaze at its contents. The look of horror faded and was replaced with a look of unveiled fury. I watched as Hayate placed a hand on his shoulder, which he promptly slapped away with a defiant look on his face. Hayate bowed in apology.

Awayuki ignored him and picked up a sack. After bowing his head in what I believed was a prayer of some sort, he also began sending the sacks overboard. I couldn't just stay over here and watch any longer. I made my way over and began to haul the sacks as well. Blood had seeped through the sack in a distinct pattern. I ignored Hayate's look of mild—surprise? Confusion?—at my action and continued to haul the sacks overboard.

They deserved more than this. They deserved not only an apology, but also a chance to exact their revenge for the wrongs done to them. They deserved the chance to exact their revenge on not only their violator, but also those of us who knew what would become of them but did nothing.

The repulsion I felt while holding the sack was now derived from what it represented more than what it was. There was once a time where the contents of the sack itself would make me ill. I looked over to Awayuki, who was looking more and more green in the face. I knew he would resist the urge to throw up as long as possible, but it would only be a matter of time—

As he leaned over the railing to vomit, I placed my hand on his back, rubbing it the way Ren had done for me whenever I had gotten sick. I could feel his slender frame shuddering from the effort of heaving up stomach contents. I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around him and block him off from seeing anymore. I wanted him to forget everything he had seen and experienced aboard the Pretear; I wanted him to be free from this demon lair.

I patted his head softly once he had finished. He kept his eyes averted. Hayate resumed throwing the sacks overboard, but Awayuki was frozen in place. Was he in shock?

I forced his face upwards by gently tugging on his chin, and I found that rather than being shell-shocked, he was furiously holding back tears. And before I could process any more thoughts, my arms were around him, holding him close. I didn't need to say or do anything more. He began to cry softly, and then harder, trembling with the effort.

I sensed Hayate's stare driving into my back even as he continued his work. Awayuki continued to cry, his hands clenched onto my rough woolen tunic. And I could not blame him. Even now, I felt anger—and a sense of sinking despair—whenever a passenger ship was captured. Combined with the disgust of seeing what Sasame had done to them—it was enough to tear down even Awayuki's strong will. He was too compassionate and if he continued to be so, it would be his undoing on this ship. I didn't want him to lose his empathy and his fiery passion the way I had. But I didn't want him to get hurt anymore than he already had.

Long after Hayate both finished his work and walked away with his empty cart, Awayuki looked up. His eyes were red from exertion and he looked even more drained than before. I saw the fierce look return in his eyes and sighed in relief. And then he brought his arms around my neck. I froze, surprised at the action.

"Thank you, Go," he murmured, before pulling back once again. He bowed in gratitude. I managed a nod before he headed off the main deck.

That sudden act—his arms around my neck—had felt at once foreign and nostalgic. It wasn't the kind of physicality I felt when with a woman for the night. It was something deeper, something I could not name but felt vaguely familiar. I suddenly ached for that simple act once again, and to feel his soft voice whisper near my ear. That gentleness—I ran a hand across my neck, still vividly feeling the sensation of his arms.

Restless, I turned towards the railing to gaze across at the water and realized that in Hayate's rush to dispose of the sacks, he had failed to tie weights to them. The sacks floated on the surface, stagnant in the waters around the Pretear, blood seeping around them.

And then the sharks arrived, tearing the sacks off and exposing the ravaged bodies. I saw a flash of the characteristic slash across the throat before razor sharp teeth began to dig their way into the flesh. I caught glimpses of the lifeless eyes of the women whose faces displayed either fear or despair even in death. I wanted to turn away as the sharks did their work, but I was fixated, bearing witness to the violation to their bodies even now.

I watched until the moon rose in the sky, and the bodies of those poor women were nothing but bits of meat that were devoured into nothingness.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Freedom in Captivity

Himeno

I had vowed to show no more weakness. Yet at the sight of the dead woman's body—and especially the look of fear fixated upon her face—my body betrayed me. My stomach's contents emptied themselves forcefully into the ocean, where the sight of the sacks floating on the surface triggered another wave of nausea. I felt spent. It was as if I had thrown up the anger that had peaked in Hayate's cabin, leaving behind only exhaustion.

I felt the warmth of a hand on my back, and for a moment, I felt as if I was back at home.

_"There, there," she said in a soothing voice as she rubbed my back, "it will be all better soon."_

_ I shivered as I recovered from throwing up yet another time and felt the relief from feeling nauseous only emptying one's stomach could bring. As I stood over the basin, expecting to have to throw up again, my dear older sister Takako continued to rub my back gently yet firmly. _

_ "It will be all better soon," she repeated. _

'It will be all better soon,' I repeated to myself over and over as I felt the hand rub my back. Although the gesture was not as tender as my sister's, my eyes welled at the thought of any kindness that held a shadow of hers. Whose hand brought about such kindness? Hayate's—no—it was rough from work, rough to the touch from working with metal day in and day out. It was Go's hand that could be so tender; it was only Go who could show such pure, unselfish concern. Which was more than any of those women had received in their final moments.

Which was more than my sister had received in her final moments.

I turned away from the railing, my head averted. I could feel the surge of anger that had consumed me in Hayate's cabin begin to flood my senses once more, and I did not trust myself to rein it in. For I knew that hidden within my anger was fear—and guilt—which only served to escalate my anger even further. I wanted to lash out, but was too afraid, and too ashamed. And so tired, tired of holding onto anger that had no outlet.

I felt Go's hand on my head, patting it gently as if sensing the turbulence of my emotions. A gesture that reminded me of the mother who I barely remembered now, the mother whose gentleness had enveloped me as a young child.

_I smiled after I had packed the soil into the pot around the tiny plant. _

_ "It's done, Mom. Will a pretty flower bloom now?" I asked. _

_ She smiled at me and said, "A flower won't bloom just by planting it. It needs soil, water and warm sunlight. If it's lacking any one of these things, it won't bloom. So you have to look after them well and protect them."_

_ "Yeah, I understand! I'll protect the flowers!" I responded with full confidence. _

Confidence I did not have now. I had not been able to protect the flowers we had planted together. I had not been able to protect my mother from the illness that took her life. I had not been able to protect my older sister from her fate. I had not been able to protect my younger sister from the grief that had overwhelmed her. And I was unable to protect Mannen now.

I was even unable to protect the ambition of revenge that had brought me aboard the Pretear in the first place.

I felt my vision blurring as tears of frustration filled them. How I wanted to run a sword through that demon captain's heart, to see him writhe in agony as his blood drenched my grinning face. How I wanted to scream my sister and first mate's names as he died at my hands. How I wanted to see Hayate's expression when I rid him of his captain…

I felt a hand on my chin, gently pulling my face upwards. I looked into Go's eyes, my vision blurry with tears I refused to shed. I stood there, trembling with anger, frustration and despair that I had been struggling to hold at bay—and his arms were around me. And the dam broke. In his arms, I felt safe. In his arms…

_It was only in our father's arms that Mawata would cry. Every year when we commemorated the day of our mother's death, Mawata would be calm and solemn. She would stand in front of our mother's grave, solemn, her hand clenched into a fist and trembling, as I cried into Takako's skirt without shame. It was only when our father picked her up into his arms that she would cry. Only in his arms would she feel safe enough to let her guard down to be the crybaby she had every right to be. Our father's arms was Mawata's safe haven. The safe haven—_

That I had found in Go aboard this hellship. He had made me smile and laugh even when there was no cause to feel any happiness. He looked after me and taught me how to defend myself with a sword. He taught me to be stronger and that I did not need to lose my humanity to do so. He—

My tears were flowing faster now as I finally felt I had found the one place where I could abandon all reserve. My hands clenched onto him in an effort to keep myself from washing away with my tears. I needed to move forward. If at least to atone for my sin of inaction. To atone…

_My father and I were walking back home after the funeral ceremony. Our entire village had come for the ceremony; my sister Takako had been well-loved by all for her generosity and her kindness. It seemed cruel to us that we were still alive and breathing while someone as selfless as her was at the bottom of the sea. _

_ I kept myself together during the ceremony, both for my father's sake and for Mawata's. My father was barely coherent this morning; he had spent the majority of yesterday when we received the news drinking his way through one bottle after another. My sister Mawata had shut herself in her room and had refused to come out. _

_When we returned home, my father retreated back into the safety of his room, most likely to try to find comfort in yet another bottle. I trudged my way over to Mawata's room. I felt achy all over and felt the onset of a pounding headache. All I wanted to do was sleep and get up with the hope that tomorrow would bring better news. _

_ "Mawata?" I called out in a tired voice while knocking on her bedroom door. No answer. _

_ "Mawata?" I tried again, knocking a little harder. No answer. _

_ I tried calling out to her once more. Still no answer. _

_ My exhaustion setting in, I turned away from her door, assuming she was resting. I collapsed onto my bed—my jacket and shoes still on—and fell into an uneasy sleep. _

_ "Himeno! Wake up! Mawata's missing," my father's voice rang in my ear, jolting me awake. _

_ "She's not in her room, asleep?" I asked stupidly as I cleared the fog of sleep from my head. _

_ My father shook his head, panic spread across his features. And I felt as if my heart stopped. For it suddenly dawned on me why he was in such a panic. I bolted upright and raced outside with my father. A single nod passed between us before we went our separate ways to search for her. I inquired whether anyone had seen her, but no one had seen her since yesterday. The panic—and the guilt—was rising inside of me. _

_ 'Mawata, please be okay,' I prayed as I searched every inch of our tiny port town. _

_ By the time the sun was low in the sky, my father and I had still not found her. There was only one place we had not checked, and I hoped with all my heart that she would be there. As I made my way over to the docks, I noticed a crowd forming near the water edge. Fearing the worst, I pushed my way through the onlookers only to find—_

_ I could not understand what I was seeing. I was seeing but not comprehending. I did not avert my eyes but my mind had shut down the instant it was confronted by the scene before me. I could not—would not—accept what I saw. It was a sick joke and that was all. And I began to laugh as I collapsed to the ground. _

_ I felt arms all around me, holding me close, shielding me from the incomprehensible sight that was burned into my vision. The sight of my father holding a limp body that had short turquoise hair and lifeless green eyes was etched into the back of my eyelids. But I did not understand it. It was too absurd. _

_ And I continued to laugh. _

I could not laugh now. The shock from the moment I had seen my sister's body seemed to have prepared me for the horror that I had experienced aboard this ship. I could not shut my mind from it; I could not protect myself. And I was glad it was so. This way, I could feel the guilt searing through me and it would give me strength to fight against that demon.

I looked up to thank Go—to thank him for giving me the sanctuary I had needed in order to recover. For giving me the sanctuary I thought I would never have again. Overwhelmed with gratitude for his kindness, I brought my arms around his neck.

"Thank you, Go," I murmured into his ear. Suddenly aware of the intimacy of my action, I pulled away and managed a quick bow of thanks before rushing off the main deck. I caught a glimpse of a look I did not understand in Go's eyes before I headed below deck.

I made my way down towards the brig. I had not thought of what I would do once I got there, but I knew I had to do something. It wasn't until I was almost there that I realized I was completely unarmed. Well, no matter. I could use my fists at the very least. And if I was lucky, I would go unnoticed.

I kept to the shadows, trying to make myself as inconspicuous as possible. My heart was hammering in my chest. I had no weapon, no plan. Only a desire to help the unfortunate prisoners aboard this ship. Only a hope against hope that I could pull this off. If I was caught—

"Didn't think you would be stupider than the boy," a voice behind me said flatly.

I spun around, eyes wide, my breath caught in my chest. Kei was standing there, his arms crossed, his face displaying a hint of annoyance.

"Fancy seeing you here," I said, trying to plaster a stupid grin on my face.

His expression did not change. Nor did he try to approach any closer to me. Now what? I tried to imagine what was going through Kei's head—and all I came up with was that he was annoyed I was trying to interfere with a means to make a profit. Which was something he absolutely did not tolerate.

"I just got lost on my way to the hold…guess I took a wrong turn?" I managed weakly. His eyes narrowed. This wasn't working at all. Time to run—

His fist connected with my stomach. I felt the wind knocked out of me as I doubled over in pain. Eyes tearing and gasping for air, I twisted in place out of his grasp and kicked upward. I felt my foot connect and allowed myself a quick smile, until I realized I had connected with his open hand. He was now slowly squeezing my foot while simultaneously twisting it. I howled as he nearly snapped my ankle in two.

I curled into a ball as soon as he released my foot, holding my twisted ankle close to me in hopes that the pain would subside. And I felt myself being bodily yanked from the ground into the air. I shut my eyes completely, both to keep the tears of pain from flowing and to keep myself from seeing what came next. Would he take me to Sasame? To Hayate? Or would he dump me into the ocean? In my current state, I would not even be able to swim.

I heard the creak of a door and felt myself being flung into a wall. And then the creak once more. I opened my eyes in shock; I knew that creak. It was the creak of a cell.

"Kei! Kei! Let me out of here!" I shrieked as he walked away.

"Gag him," I heard him command one of the crew members on guard. I bit hard on the first hand that came close enough to my face, which only caused me to receive a hard slap against the face. A wet rag was forced between my teeth as I flailed my fists uselessly. Another pair of hands pinned me down and bound my hands and, for good measure, my legs as well.

It wasn't until I was an immobile lump on the ground that I took in my surroundings. I was in the very cell filled with the prisoners I had intended to save. I shifted to try to see more of my surroundings, but was stopped in mid-action from the searing pain in my foot.

"Here, let me see it," a middle aged woman said to me kindly. I nodded. She tore a piece of her dress and used it as a bandage to hold my ankle joint in place.

"Rest it and it will heal," she said. I could only nod in gratitude. She reached up to remove the bindings of the gag in my mouth, but before she could untie it, the guards came up to the cell bars and jeered at me.

"I'll kill the first one of ya that unties him," he said, wiggling his tongue at me tauntingly.

"Just where you ought to have been all along, _cabin boy_," another sneered.

"Staying in the first mate's room—do you think he's been doing 'im?" the first pirate said, snickering.

"Right up the ass, just like the little prick he is," the other pirate responded.

I turned away from them and tried to ignore their remarks. I knew the crew hated and feared their captain and first mate—which was why I was able start a mutiny even as fresh as I was aboard the Pretear. But they were too cowardly to insult them directly. So I was the easy target that they could take out their frustration and hatred on.

They continued their quips. But as insulting as they were, they made me wonder—why had Hayate picked me up and kept me under his wing all this time? What benefit was he obtaining from the risk he took of watching over me? Surely not for nightly pleasures as these morons were suggesting. He had not once touched me in way that suggested he desired me. Then why?

Somehow, I didn't want to know the answer.

The more pressing issue at hand that I was ignoring with my useless ruminations was—how the hell was I going to get out of here? Or did I want to get out of here in the first place?

What had I accomplished coming aboard the Pretear? I had not confirmed what had happened to my sister, nor had I exacted my revenge on whom I thought was responsible. I had failed to successfully complete a mutiny. I suppose I had learned swordsmanship, taken a little boy under my wing—and how nice it felt to have someone like a younger sibling again, even if I was the last person to deserve it—and…

I silenced the last thought before it could dare to manifest itself.

What if my sister had not died aboard this ship? I had only rumors to go off of, after all. What if she had somehow escaped the attention of the captain? Could she have been taken captive and then…?

Perhaps this wasn't so bad after all. This could be fate giving me a lead that I had not considered before. If only my ankle wasn't so swollen and sore…

"We're here. Bring the prisoners above deck," Kei commanded.

I felt shackles clamp onto my wrists, weighing down my already bound wrists. The middle aged woman who had helped me with my ankle was stooped over, her gaze fixed to the floor as if she had already accepted her fate.

I, too, kept my gaze fixed downwards in order to keep my face hidden. I did not want to attract any attention now. If I could leave this ship as the prisoner I was and use my position to find out more about my sister, then I would take full advantage of it.

I sighed in relief as I made it off the ship. It was ironic; I felt free for the first time since I had been held captive aboard the Pretear.

"Ah, Master Kei," a voice drawled towards us. I managed a quick look upwards and saw a rotund man who was missing some of his teeth, his belly a barrel that I could mistake for a pregnant woman's belly. I averted my eyes as he came closer to us, his breath stinking of alcohol and rotting teeth.

"Never any pretty girls, eh?" he said, laughing.

I clenched my fists. So Sasame's _hobby _was that well known? It sickened me to hear that man's laughter, even as a sense of dread overcame me. While Sasame was cruel, this man was crude. If my sister had been sold to him…

"The asking price the usual, Master Kei?" the man said while picking at his blackened tooth.

"My captain would like supplies instead of gold this time," Kei responded.

The man bowed in a half-subservient, half-mocking manner.

"Your captain's wish is my command. But first, I will need to inspect the bodies," he stated.

"Very well. Do what you do best," Kei responded. He did not budge or even flinch as the slaver made his way down the line of chained prisoners, striping their clothes to examine their physique. My breath caught in my throat. If he found out I was a girl, I would be sent to be trained at a brothel faster than I could open my mouth to protest. But if that was where my sister was…

The slaver made his way in front of the kindly middle aged woman. When he approached her, she lifted her head in an almost dignified manner and said, "You will not own me."

And plunged a sharp rock into her neck, tearing a gash from one side to the other before falling to the ground. If only I had been able to free her, she would not have had to die. If only…

And the woman transformed into Takako in my mind. And suddenly, I feared that was what she would have done. Taken her own life to preserve her dignity rather than live a life that was not her own.

"Well, she was much too old to be useful in the brothel anyway," the slaver remarked, stepping past her mutilated corpse as if it were only a small annoyance.

I looked up at him, eyes blazing in fury at this disgusting creature. He chuckled when he saw me and took my chin in his filthy hands.

"Ah, he's got spunk. I like 'em that way. It's much more fun to break 'em down," he said, while his hand snaked around to massage my butt. I felt bile rise in my throat as he continued to knead my behind. I had no doubt what he would do to me the instant the transaction between him and Kei was over. And wouldn't it be the bastard's lucky day when he found out that I was a woman?

I twisted my head and brought my teeth down hand onto his hand. He yelped and jumped back. He licked the bite mark in his hand that was now actively bleeding.

"Fucking brat," he snarled, smacking me hard against the face. Massaging his wounded hand, he turned his attention back to Kei.

"Well, your captain never gave me no bad stock. Consider the deal done, Master Kei," he said as he spat at my feet.

As he and Kei proceeded to discuss the details of the trade, I was shuffled along with the rest of the prisoners, the dead body of the kindly woman left out in the sun for carrion feed.

I had seen the row of chained slaves coming into market before. The times I had gone on trips with my father and gone to market to sell our wares, I had seen them, row upon row of people with dead-looking eyes and tired feet, dragged to be sold. He had turned away both in disgust at the practice and to keep from gazing at their pitiful state for too long. As a policy, he never got involved with the slaving business and was part of a branch of a British trading company that proudly stated that as a service for the crown, it did not dare defile itself by dealing in slaves.

The irony that I, the daughter of such a man, would be a slave myself—from my own stupidity no less—was cruel. Holding back tears both from shame and from the sting from where the slaver had hit me, I trudged along towards the market.

When we arrived at market, I was relieved to see a scribe, taking down the names each of the prisoners gave. His logbook was thick, and I hoped I could have a glimpse of it to glean whether my sister had been here. To my luck, one of the prisoners collapsed to the ground, wailing, giving me the distraction I needed. I shuffled as quietly as I could towards the logbook amidst the chaos that ensued following the prisoner's outburst and began to scan the page before me.

I needed some way to flip through the pages, but with my hands bound behind me, I was out of luck. I considered flipping the pages with my teeth and began to lean down when a voice stopped me.

"Looking for someone in particular?"

I shot up, eyes wide, unclear whether the voice was kind or not. I found myself looking into the scribe's eyes. He had the look of someone well-educated and brought up in very different circumstances from the one he was in now. I nodded.

"Tell me the name. I have been here many years and do not forget a single name of a poor soul that comes through here," he responded.

I smiled at him in gratitude and spoke my sister's name. I looked at him expectantly—although I was not sure what I was hoping I heard as a response. After a moment's contemplation, he shook his head.

"No, I have not encountered anyone who gave me that name. Perhaps this person was lucky to have never come here," he replied.

I supposed that was true. My heart sank, however, that the one lead I had—the one foolish hope I had that my sister might have been alive—was gone. I needed to get back aboard the Pretear. But how? Kei was long gone, and he had made his position towards helping me very clear; I was as useful to him as a sack of potatoes. Good for barter and nothing else.

"Hand me that quill," I said to the scribe. He looked at me carefully before complying. I only had moments before the chaos from the prisoners who had broken down would be over. I hoped I had learned the lock picking trick Mannen had taught me recently. I sighed in relief when I heard a click and the shackles fell off of my wrists. I had almost finished the ones around my ankles when I heard a voice that froze me in my tracks.

"Going somewhere, brat?" the slaver hissed, grabbing me by the hair. I shrieked in pain, even as the exertion from his pull helped the last of the shackles on my ankles slip free. I knew I couldn't run—my ankle was too sore for that. And the market place was too monitored, but also very crowded. If I could slip away even for a moment—

"I'm gonna discipline you right 'ere and now," he snarled as his hands laced onto my breeches. I panicked. This couldn't happen now, not when I was so close to escaping.

As the reality of what was about to happen dawned upon me, my mind shut down to give way to pure instinct. An instinct to fight back and run. As his stinking breath came closer to me, I bit hard on his ear and tore it off, spitting out the disgusting taste of his blood and flesh. He brought his hands to his ear, hissing in pain. I moved next to kick him hard in the groin, but even in his pain, he saw me coming and stomped onto my already swollen ankle. I howled and paused in pain, giving him the opportunity to begin tearing my clothes off. And the blood rush I felt to fight ebbed away, giving rise to fear that froze me. In moments, he would find out I was a woman…and then—

I heard a choking sound come from my captor and saw the point of a sword sticking out from the middle of his massive belly. As the blood gushed from the wound, he released me and I gratefully pulled the remnants of my clothes back on. As the slaver fell, dead before his body had even hit the ground, I saw who had killed him.

"Hayate…" I managed weakly. I had never seen him look so angry. I was trembling, but whether from relief or from fear, I could not say. Without another word, he sheathed his sword and picked me up. He did not look at me as he carried me, but even as I looked up at him, I could tell he was furious.

"Hayate, I…" I began.

"Don't speak," he said in a hoarse voice.

He carried me back in silence, and I was almost glad to see the Pretear once again. He ignored the looks of the crew and headed straight to his cabin. After he placed me on his bed, he slammed the cabin door shut and faced me.

"What the hell were you doing?" he hissed.

I couldn't stop the tears then. Everything—everything that happened to me in such a short while—and my relief when Hayate came for me—

I heard his fist connect with the wall above me and I paused, hiccupping from the tears that I suppressed from shock. And I saw through my blurry vision as he looked down at me with eyes sharp and cold with anger. As I trembled in the face of his anger, he leaned in and brought his lips roughly onto mine. I felt tears escape as I felt his anger in that kiss—the anger as he nearly bit my lip with the ferocity of his action.

Why? Why? Why now of all times? And all that was pounding in my head was: _Right up the ass, just like the little prick he is_…

I shuddered and then was still, trying to silence everything in my mind. And just as suddenly as the moment began, it was over. He quickly pulled away and turned his back towards me.

"I need to have a word with the second mate. Stay put and don't do anything stupid," he said in a sharp voice as he headed out briskly, locking the door behind him.

I curled up into a ball, my hands over my lips, trembling from the flood of tears pouring out of me from relief and shock and waited for Hayate to return—while also dreading it at the same time.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Greed vs Desire

Kei

_May the 2__nd __of the year 1583:_

_Successful capture of the Spanish carrack La Belleza at Fourteen degrees N, Seventy-seven degrees W: _

_Casualties: none. _

_Loot: _

_Passenger count One hundred and sixty six, consisting of Ninety-four women and children and Seventy-two able bodied men_

_Fifty-three chests of women's silk and lace clothing_

_Thirty barrels of jerky_

_Fifteen barrels of fresh water_

_Ten barrels of oranges_

A knock at the door. I paused, quill in mid air, eyes narrowing at the sound. The past several days had given far too little time for proper record keeping between the capture of the Belleza, the trading of goods at Tortuga and the preparation for the journey across the Atlantic. If this could be a matter that could be delayed until I finished my entry into the logbook—

A series of knocks this time, much more insistent. I sighed and placed the quill down. This had better be important. One look at my visitor proved me wrong.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

I was staring into a pair of jet-black pupils, vivid with anger, although the rest of his face displayed a calm mien. Ah, this must be about that boatswain. Given his expression, I surmised that he had somehow brought him back aboard the Pretear.

"Can I help you?" I repeated.

I was hoping that this encounter would conclude as quickly as possible. I had work to do and not nearly enough time to complete it all. Certainly there was no time to deal with this irrational anger.

"With what authority did you imprison the boatswain?" the first mate asked in a low voice with a hint of an edge.

I inwardly sighed. In my attempt to rid myself of one nuisance, I had created another.

"I apprehended the boatswain while he attempted to free our cargo. Given the severity of the crime, I gave punishment as appropriate to the situation," I replied evenly.

"Bypassing both the captain's and my authority?" he retorted.

I could see the twitch of muscle by his jaw; his anger that he had been unable to control the situation with the boatswain melded into the anger he was now experiencing by being unable to wrest control of this conversation. I had to admit I was mildly enjoying myself, but knew that I needed to end this before my disgust over his desperation manifested itself.

"Given that both you and the captain were otherwise occupied, I acted by the guidelines and my authority as second mate," I explained, trying to keep in the realm of rationality.

He remained silent after my statement. I saw a look pass across his face, one I knew quite well. It was the look of abject fear of losing something deeply desired. The look of lusting after an individual to the point of abandoning all reason. The weakness that permeated the men who visited _her…_

_We were broke. That much was clear. But she refused to admit it. Living in her world of her own desires, she refused to face reality. My father was gone, and with him his trading company that was the source of everything my mother relished. Her jewels. Her dresses. Her elevated social status. _

_ When I showed her the ledger filled with red, my mother blanched. Numbers could not lie—except I had manipulated them to. I made us appear even poorer than we had become to bring her to her senses. _

_ So she began a business of her own. Young men and women—often boys and girls no older than I was—in the service of selling their flesh, populated our mansion. While I managed the finances, my mother sat back and enjoyed the money that flowed in. She dressed me as a girl, often in stupid frilly dresses to attract customers. I endured it, because I would soon get out of there. Just a little longer…_

_ Then one day I saw her, breasts hanging out, panting like a dog in heat in the arms of a man. I watched with eyes narrowed at this depraved creature, relishing the look of utter lust the man viewed her with. I watched long enough to see him walk away after leaving a bag of coins beside her. _

_ I grabbed my quill and logbook to input the earnings my mother had made. _

_ "Dearest, you can bring the next customer to me?" she cooed as she held the bag of coins in her hand. _

_ And my quill found itself buried in her neck, dyeing my ledger red once more._

As I wished to now. My hand curled around my quill as the silence continued, but I stayed my hand from lifting off of the desk. To my good fortune—or perhaps misfortune—he broke the silence.

"Very well. In the future, you are to report immediately to myself or the captain regarding matters of the crew," Hayate ordered.

I gave a curt nod in acquiescence, my hand relinquishing the quill somewhat reluctantly. After all, I did not wish to dye my ledger red, not especially now when it contained numbers flourishing with profit.

As the first mate turned to leave, I looked over in relief at my open logbook. Finally, I could resume my record keeping and be through with this nonsense. And then he suddenly spun around, grabbed the cuff of my ruffle and pushed me backwards to the wall.

"And do not ever touch the boatswain again, do you hear, second mate?" he half-growled.

His composure was completely gone, and I watched amusedly as strands of his hair flew into his face. So the captain's dog had an Achilles' heel after all that could blunt his blade. I noted the information for future reference.

I nodded as he released me and watched as he strode out. Desire—desire was a weakness that crushed you. But greed…

_Her eyes were wide with surprise and fear, dull now that the life had been extinguished from them. Her neck had multiple punctures that were now only slowly spewing blood. I ripped off my white frock that was drenched in blood, picked up the bag of coins and whistled as I walked out of that hellhole. _

That bag of the coins had been the beginning of my quest to sate my own greed. Profit and results were all that mattered, so long as they benefitted myself. I allowed myself a slight smile as I thought of how the boatswain had gone from a nuisance to a very useful tool.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two: Crossing the Abyss

Sasame

It was unusual for him to stay afterwards. I narrowed my eyes as I watched him sleeping far too peacefully beside me. I knelt down and bit him hard on his lip, and he awoke with a yelp.

"There's work to do, first mate," I snapped.

His eyes focused out of his sleep-induced haze. I frowned. He had been far too aggressive yesterday, enough so that I knew he was hiding something. But it would be only a matter of time before I knew what that was. This was _my_ ship after all.

He wordlessly rose and dressed, finding the articles of clothing he had shed so quickly and shamelessly last night. I had not dared to question it last night—that he had come to me himself—but now doubt twisted within me like a knife.

This man would be the undoing of me.

But I did not linger long on idle sentiments. There were preparations to be done for the journey across the Atlantic. It had been many years, but Hayate and I were returning to that cesspit of a city we once called home, and not as the poor weaklings we had been when we left, but as those with power and wealth.

Shortly after Hayate had left my cabin, I made my way onto deck to survey the work in progress. While my first and second mates were capable men, they were as error-prone as any. Hayate's oversight had cost the Pretear her main mast during the last storm we had encountered. And Kei's lack of involvement had allowed that joke of a mutiny to proceed as far as it did. No, if I wanted this voyage to go smoothly, I needed to monitor every detail.

As I made my rounds, I smirked as I felt more than saw the boatswain's shudder as I passed. She stood up and limped her way across the deck. Had Hayate turned abusive towards his little pet? It seemed unlikely, but the thought amused me all the same.

Looking around at my crew, I could tell they were getting complacent. They were dragging their feet from one chore to the next, tying sloppy knots. And there was only one way to get these simpletons to work.

I pulled out my pistol and released the safety. Although I loathed to part with a member of the crew—every capable hand being so essential for a transatlantic journey—incompetence and sloth was not permitted aboard my ship. Without a moment's hesitation, I aimed my pistol at a particularly inept seaman who had made a mess of the rigging and fired. All hands on deck froze at the sound, saw the dead man and sprung back into action.

Of the many captains I had encountered of both the pirate and privateer variety, many of them barked orders with the culture of an uncivilized dog that had learned to speak. I did not believe in words. They were empty, full of promise yet resulting in no action. And so uncouth. I had vowed since my debut as captain that I would never raise my voice, and that I would still effectively convey the discipline I expected aboard the Pretear.

By midmorning, she was looking ready to sail. A fresh southeasterly wind signaled a good omen for the onset of the voyage.

"Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen!" Hayate ordered out to the crew.

I felt the rush of excitement and anticipation I felt at the onset of a long journey. But this time, it was more than just the journey itself that set my blood on fire. It was the reward—the reward I had sought for years—soon to be mine. I did not dare to taste victory upon my lips just yet, but I could sense the hints of her flavor not too far from reach.

I ran my hands over my Pretear's wheel, steering her away from the harbor into the wide ocean ahead. I caught Hayate's gaze for a brief moment and I saw what I surmised was a reflection of my own excitement. And I wanted him all over again…

_He had burst into my cabin, strands of his dark hair flying around his face, loose from the tight ponytail that usually held them at bay. His expression was a combination of fury bridled with desire. I looked up from my charts and surveyed him as I took another sip of wine. Without a word, he made his way over to me—yanking me forward by the collar—and crashed his lips onto mine. He was sloppy, urgent and wholly without the respect he should have shown me. _

_ I growled and pushed him off of me hard. He fell backwards onto the table, scattering the charts and the ship figurines that I had painstakingly placed to mark our trajectory and the shipping lanes for merchant vessels. He lay on the table before me, panting as his erect member strained in his breeches. I observed his pathetically desperate self as I continued with my wine with an almost completely detached air. I made no effort to satisfy him—although his need was arousing me as much as it was irritating me—and instead sat back to my charts. _

_ "Sasame, please," he begged. _

_ That was more like it. I growled again, this time in pleasure at hearing him beg. To hear him need me so badly sent a shiver down my spine. I yanked him off the table by his hair and pulled his face towards me. _

_ "Make me interested," I ordered. _

_He understood immediately—a sign of all the years we had spent together—and moved to my breeches. He unlaced the front and took my member gently, yet urgently into his mouth. I was hardening fast, not from the sloppy technique he was using today, but from the desire pouring out of him in his urgency. _

_ I felt his hand creep around to stroke my behind and knew that today he wanted—no, needed—to take me. Very well, but it would be on my terms. _

_ "Enough with your slobbering. Tell me what it is you want," I snapped as I pulled his head back, freeing his mouth to speak. _

_ "Please let me take you, Sasame," he breathed, his eyes filled with yearning—and something else. I ignored the edge of the unknown in his countenance and grabbed him by his wrists, tossing him carelessly onto the bed. _

_ I slipped a pair of shackles around his wrists and tied the chain attached to them to the head of the bed. He accepted them without struggle, lying on the bed and watching me as I removed his breeches. He was erect and throbbing. I sneered as I shed my garments and shoved my fingers into his mouth. _

"_Suck it," I ordered, even though he had begun salivating far before I had thrust my fingers into his moist opening. I pushed them farther and farther in until I could feel him almost choke. I quickly pulled them out before he gagged, watching him cough and splutter from the exertion. Smirking, I took my dripping fingers and eased them into my opening, kneading it until it loosened. _

"_Be grateful for this service," I drawled before shoving the full length of his member inside of me. He moaned in satisfaction as I slid my hips up and down his length, at first slowly and faster as I craved for his heat inside of me. I felt him shudder, close to release, but a quick glance in my direction caused him to bite down hard on his lip, holding himself back before I was ready to release. I was also close—but also didn't want the release. I wanted him trapped within me, I wanted his desire, and I wanted his desperation to remain. _

_But I could not hold for long. Each thrust was bringing me closer and closer to release. Unable to take it any longer, he thrust his hips hard without warning, causing my vision to go blank. I gasped and clamped down on him as I came, feeling his throbbing and pulsating member spewing inside of me. _

_And I collapsed onto him, gasping, as I smelled his familiar scent. I reluctantly freed him from the shackles on a foolish whim to feel his arms around me. And as he nuzzled closer to me, he murmured low in my ear, "Thank you."_

His gratitude was not what I wanted, but rather the clinging desperation that brought him back to me time after time—whether willingly like last night or otherwise. But this time it had not been a machination of my own invention that had brought him crawling to me. I frowned as I looked into the clear seas ahead. I had a strong suspicion it had to do with that girl because I had made sure he did not—could not—feel attachment to anything other than myself. But somehow that girl…

I banished her from my thoughts. She was insignificant. So what if Hayate was developing an unhealthy obsession with her? She was a toy, nothing more. One that I could wrench out of his hands and break at a moment's notice.

I felt the breeze upon my face and the sharp smell of the ocean and felt free. This was where I belonged, this was where I was the master, and this was my home. I smirked. I was becoming too sentimental and soft. I needed something—or someone—as a challenge. A challenge I could conquer and kill.

It was several weeks into our journey that that wish was satisfied. We had been blessed with fair weather thus far into the journey—many of the superstitious bastards aboard had said that was an ominous omen for the remainder of the passage—but I knew better. It was fortune smiling down upon me, wishing me well as my hard-earned work ripened into fruit.

I frowned as I caught the helmsman fiddling with the sextant. I paused as I thought I caught a glimpse of movement beneath the waters. Our food rations were—for the moment—adequate, but additional fresh food sources were not to be scoffed at.

"Gather half your men to fish in shifts while the other half continues the work on the aft," I said to the boatswain. She nodded swiftly and gave the order.

The first mate, overhearing this, came over to me and commented, "It would be poor fishing in these waters due to these parts lacking nutrition for life."

"But there is something there for the taking," I murmured in a low voice.

He raised an eyebrow in question at me. I jerked my head towards the starboard side. He looked into the water, puzzled, until several moments later he saw a repeat of what I had seen earlier. A ripple breaking the smooth contour of the surface.

He narrowed his eyes but kept silent and I could tell the gears of suspicion were already turning in his mind, as it had the instant I had sensed movement combined with the helmsman confusion.

"Captain, there's something large down there," a crewmember on the port side commented.

I made my way aport and saw another ripple followed by a dark shadow few fathoms below the surface. Something was following the Pretear's progress, something of nontrivial size. My suspicions were confirmed when I confronted the helmsman about the ship's current trajectory.

"I'm steering her as you commanded, sir, but something seems to be throwing her off course," he replied, frowning in confusion.

But there was no further room for confusion in my mind. I turned to Hayate and he nodded in understanding.

"Bring out the harpoons! Load cannons and stand at ready to fire!" he ordered.

The weaponsmaster and the gun crew sprang into action. The girl—the boatswain—barked orders to the crew to move away from fishing to prepping the ship for combat. Young and as seemingly inexperienced as she was, she knew what she was doing when it came to organizing the crew for the sake of the Pretear. That, at least, I would acknowledge.

The weaponsmaster sent confused looks in the direction of the first mate for his seemingly strange orders, but made sure they were followed all the same. There was no ship in sight, so from a simpleton's perspective, his confusion was warranted.

And then the entirety of the ship rocked though the sea was almost perfectly calm. Silence followed the movement, until an idiot I should have disposed of earlier fired a cannon without signal into the water. I struggled to think of reasons why I shouldn't kill the moron immediately as silence followed the firing of the single cannon.

"Cap-captain…" he began shakily, but was interrupted by the sound of an inhumane screeching coming from the depths of the water. A moment later, a colossal serpent burst forth from the surface, its mouth open for another unholy screech.

I took a moment to survey my adversary. It was a gorgeous creature, to be sure. She, I decided, was a beautiful aquamarine being with a slender face framed by enormous fins that fanned and contracted along with the pitch of the screech. Her eyes were completely pitch black and set above a long alligator-like snout, framed by two long tendrils whose ends floated in mid air. Her body—at least the portion above water—was smooth and covered with scales that glittered in the sunlight. I decided then that I wanted this creature's head and scales for my own personal collection.

"Fire!" the weaponsmaster commanded, a second before Hayate would have issued the order. It was a crucial mistake. The cannons fired too short of the creature, only further angering her with smoke and noise. She screeched again and approached closer to the ship.

I waited to see what her next move would be. I saw the fool of a weaponsmaster open his mouth to issue another order and decided this was going to be one of the rare times I barked an order myself—but then Hayate intervened, holding a hand up in the air while shouting, "Hold fire!"

Even as her beautiful face came closer to us, there was another alarming development. I watched as her tail—the shape of an eel with feather-like projections—began to creep up the port side of the Pretear even as her face approached the starboard side.

"Harpoons aport!" I heard the second mate yell.

He had been focused on all sides of the ship, a careful, collected man even when the rest of these useless lugs were focused on merely the obvious threat and not the insidious one.

"Hold…hold…release!" he cried out, after enough of the tail had made its way aboard. Several harpoons found purchase, and she howled while withdrawing her tail. In retaliation, she released a stream of water that hit the deck with such force that it threatened to damage the masts. I had had enough.

I unsheathed my sword while simultaneously unsheathing Hayate's sword from his hip. Armed in both hands, I tensed waiting for her to come just a little closer. I sensed rather than saw her tail creeping over the port side again despite the efforts of the harpoons. Just a little more closer, I thought—and then the crunch of the railing on the port side made me snap.

As another volley of cannon fire was released, I leapt into the air towards the creature's snout. She opened her jaws wide, about to pummel me directly on with a jet of water, but I spun, adding momentum to my jump. I flew above her head and came down with both swords onto the back of her neck. Spinning, I tore out a chunk of flesh from her neck and then proceeded down her back.

But the cut was too shallow. I could hear beyond the cries of the beast the groaning of the Pretear as she was being strangled by the creature's massive length. I would not let her die. She was my hope and my freedom and my instrument to power.

I ran up her smooth, scaly length back up to her head. She turned to face me, jaws open once more. And I leapt straight into her welcoming maw and then into the belly of the beast, tearing flesh as I went. I spun, slashing as I went down until I had torn through her from the inside.

I saw from the corner of my eye her now separated head flying through the air. I grabbed a tendril and used it to propel it and me back to the deck of the Pretear. I landed solidly on deck, holding my prize beside me.

"Captain," Hayate called out to me as he made his way over after cutting the ship free of the beast's rear end.

"Make sure any damages, especially any below the water line, are to be fixed immediately," I ordered.

"They are already being attended to," he replied.

"Good. And injuries to the crew?" I inquired as I wiped off the serpent's blood and saliva off with the kerchief he had handed to me.

"Three wounded and," he grimaced, "one fainted."

"Tie the fool that fainted to the mizzen mast for a day. Make sure the others' wounds are tended to. We are too far from land to lose anymore to sickness," I directed.

"It shall be done," he replied.

"Very well. I leave the deck in your hands, first mate."

I walked back to my quarters to remove the stained clothing I was wearing. It was a shame, really. It had been my favorite white velvet overcoat with its usual satin lavender vest combination. Ah well. I would have another of its like tailored for me in London. I could not see _her _without looking my finest after all.

I turned back to see my prize once more. Though lifeless, the razor-like teeth the size of almost half my person were a danger on their own. I chucked to myself. What was it that Hayate had said earlier? 'It would be poor fishing in these waters due to these parts lacking nutrition for life.'

It had been a good day for fishing after all.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three: Parley or No Parley

Kei

"Is the plan clear?" the captain asked as he concluded his explanation.

I nodded in affirmation and caught Hayate's eye, who was doing the same. He returned my gaze impassively, but I thought there was a hint of a threat underlying the silent exchange. I almost smirked, as I thought of the irony in his idle threat. It was I who would be doing the threatening after all, given the information I had collected about his weakness.

_It had been almost a fortnight ago shortly after the Pretear suffered the assault from the sea monster the captain had affectionately dubbed Fenrir. I was looking for the weaponsmaster; I had been tasked with the unpleasant duty to inflict punishment upon him for his error in judgment in ordering the first volley of cannon fire. He was such a broken man that I did not deem much would be necessary to make him cowed into submission. _

_As I neared the armory, I paused at the sound of several voices. One was the weaponsmaster's voice, the other the boatswain's—and the last most likely that brat of a cabin boy's. They were discussing the cabin boy's failed attempt at freeing the prisoners—one of my finest moments in enforcing discipline—when the boatswain shared an account of his failed attempt as well. _

_ "…Captured, yet free from the Pretear, I decided this was my chance," the boatswain narrated. _

_ "Chance for what?" the cabin boy piped up, interrupting the boatswain's narration. _

_ I, too, wondered the same. What opportunity did he see in being sold as a prisoner in Tortuga? With his slender frame, it was more likely he would end up in a brothel for customers with those interests rather than in manual labor. I could not understand the advantage in that. _

_ "It was my chance to find out more about what happened to my sister," he stated. _

_ "Your sister?" asked the weaponsmaster. _

_ I leaned in closer to the open doorway for the boatswain had suddenly lowered his voice. _

_ "I came aboard the Pretear for one reason—to find out what happened to my sister. She was aboard a passenger ship, the Amity, destined for London when accounts say pirates attacked the ship. The Amity, her crew and her passengers—including my sister—have been missing ever since…" the boatswain paused, my guess because she became too overcome with emotion to continue. Silly sentiment. _

_ My mind, however, was already spinning its gears. The Amity sounded familiar—I would need to check my logbook for further details. Unless, of course, this was before I joined as a member of the Pretear's crew. _

"_My father—a merchant—went on a quest to find her, but never returned home. I decided it fell to me, so I used both my father's business connections—and other not so reputable connections—to gather information about what happened to the Amity. All leads pointed to one pirate ship—the Pretear. I tracked the Pretear to the Caribbean…and well, Go, you know the rest," he concluded. _

"_I'm sorry…" the weaponsmaster said. His apology—as worthless as those words were—sounded so heartfelt I wanted to snort. _

"_I am hoping against hope that she is still alive out there somewhere, but given the captain's hobby…" the boatswain said in a voice tinged with despair and anger. _

"_We'll help you find the truth," the cabin boy said, "And we don't know for sure what happened. She could be out there, waiting for you to come rescue her and bring her home."_

_ "Thank you, Mannen," the boatswain replied. _

_ I had heard more than enough. There was a strong chance that the captain had indeed killed the girl had she been a decently pretty thing. In which case that determination to find information would turn into pure revenge. While I had nothing against the captain—he was a capable man who focused on the results—I owed him nothing as well. _

_ I headed back to peruse my logbook. I peered at the first entry I had made as second mate aboard the Pretear:_

_May the 14__th__ of the year 1574_

_Capture of the Spanish galleon La __Valentía at Thirteen degrees N, Seventy-One degrees W: _

_Casualties: Five crewmembers wounded, two dead. _

_Loot: _

_Fifty-four chests of doubloons _

_Twenty-one chests of gold bars_

_Twenty-six chests of silver coins_

_I stopped reading partway through the entry. That had been a good capture; lots of valuable loot was obtained that had funded many of the expeditions that had occurred subsequently. But no prisoners were taken as part of the capture. I flipped to the next entry—an inconsequential capture of a small merchant ship with tobacco and cotton as its primary loot—and the next—the destruction of a rival privateer ship—and the next. _

_After reading through my logbook for the latter part of the day, I found it sorely lacking any information regarding the Amity. I pursed my lips in frustration. Then it must have been before I joined the Pretear's crew, which would be consistent if the capture had been done near London. I had been part of the crew only for their forays in Caribbean waters. But I had bothered to read all of my entries because for some nagging reason the ship's name sounded damn familiar._

_But if I did not have any catalogued information about it, only one other individual would. The first mate. _

My duties had kept me busy until then, precluding my ability to investigate the matter further. But if I could extract some information now from the horse's mouth as it were…and so I followed the first mate after our meeting with the captain. He raised his eyebrow in question at me while continuing to exude a hostile aura.

"Is there anything amiss, second mate?" he asked stiffly.

"Since we are heading towards English waters, I wanted to inquire upon the Pretear's conquests there," I stated.

"That is irrelevant for the upcoming plan," he replied, closing the conversation as he closed the door of his cabin in my face.

I smirked. He could think he was protecting his secrets from me, but I would find out one way or another. And I knew just the idiot whom I could use to do so.

But unfortunately for me—but perhaps fortunately for the first mate and captain—it would have to wait for the moment. Preparations were already under way for the next game to conquer. And I was looking forward to it enough that I was content with putting my little project aside.

I was pacing on the poop deck, waiting for the signal. The captain had carefully marked the planned trajectories of several ships leaving English waters, heading to the Caribbean, based on reports he had received in both Port Royal and Tortuga. However, he had also calculated that such planned routes would become thwarted by storms, other ships and creatures like the one we had encountered. So we charted our course for the most likely path to intersect the route of several of these targeted ships to increase the likelihood of even a single encounter.

But it was a gamble, one that could prove futile. But if there was a chance for a plunder, the captain and my thoughts were one and the same. It was worth the gamble, the risk of failure. And so I waited.

"Hoist the Jolly Roger!" cried the boatswain from the crow's nest, the usual warning for an upcoming ship.

The Pretear was one of those notorious pirating ships that did not need to hide her true colors. Even had the skull and crossbones not been visible for all to see, the ship itself would be indication enough of our true identity. I was proud to be part of such an esteemed crew, but of course, it was not enough for me. But for now, I would play my part quietly. I would play the part that the captain had brought me aboard this ship in the first place.

_I was nineteen years of age at the time, having been at sea as the hired muscle aboard the merchant ship El __Corazón__ that had originally frequented Tortuga before it had become overrun with pirates. We had been on our way to make berth at Hispaniola when the attack came. _

_I first saw the skull and crossbones fluttering in the breeze, followed by the ship's namesake—the Pretear. What a foolishly delicate name for a pirate ship, I thought, about to dismiss the Pretear and her crew as trivial in power. And that was when I saw him. Crazed, violet eyes dancing in a hard-set expression of determination. He was a man not much older than I was but he held the conviction of a seasoned buccaneer. And in that single glance, I could see my own ambition reflected in his eyes. _

_As the battle raged around me, I stayed in the sidelines, watching and waiting to see who would be the ultimate victor. Within moments, it was evident that El __Corazón was both out-gunned and out-maneuvered. Grappling hooks made purchase onto __El __Corazón and the crew of the Pretear made their way over to claim their spoils—and to eliminate the crew. _

_I had only moments to spare. I found the captain of __El __Corazón—a good man who had taught me much of my basic seafaring skills—and put my blade to his throat. As I saw the Pretear's captain cross elegantly from his ship to __El __Corazón in a single almost effortless leap, I made my way over to him to offer him what would be my ticket to join the crew. _

"_And who might you be?" he asked with an almost impatient and bored air. I caught his English accept and understood how I would play this out. I held my sword firm despite my hostage's whimpering protests. _

"_My name is Kei, native of Tortuga, at your service," I replied, making every attempt to accent my English with a strong Spanish flavor. _

"_At my service?" he asked, his lip curling. _

"_I am proficient with numbers and record-keeping, my Spanish is flawless and," I paused here to permanently silence my hostage, "I have a convenient lack of morals."_

_I could tell I had caught his interest then for I saw a glint in his eye. _

"_Very well, Kei. You are welcome aboard my ship, given that you earn your keep," he said, almost dismissively, but it was enough of an opportunity for me._

It was enough of a chance to make a fortune and a reputation for myself in the past decade in the Caribbean. I was looking forward to spreading my fame beyond those waters. And here was another chance to do so.

"Load cannons and aim north-northeast!" the weaponsmaster ordered. The gun crew was in action, loading the shots and gunpowder into each cannon. I kept my distance from the proceedings for my work was yet to come.

"Hold!" the first mate commanded just as the captain made his way onto deck.

The other ship—a sleek sloop that was clearly built for speed, not power—came into view. The gun crew waited, tense as the first mate called out an order for the boatswain's men.

"Unfurl the sails! Get as much wind 'hind her as ye can!" he barked as he took the wheel. He maneuvered the Pretear in a windward direction towards the approaching ship, thereby gaining a tactical advantage from the elements.

The sloop was now tacking against the wind in an attempt to avoid a confrontation. The Pretear was a larger vessel and therefore was more powerful than the sloop we pursued. And with the wind behind our sails propelling us forward, we now had the tactical advantage as well. We bore down on our target, closing the distance in a matter of minutes, but what felt like an eternity for me.

Now within range, the first mate called the command: "Aim—fire!"

The first volley missed our target entirely. Our opponent had turned their ship harshly starboard, now showing us their stern. While the stern was one of the more vulnerable areas of the ship, the drastic turn had also allowed them to face windward. Speed was once more their ally more than ours. We had but a fraction of a second to inflict any damage.

"Load cannons! Fire at will!" the weaponsmaster cried out.

A few of the gun crew loaded and fired their cannons in time to hit the stern of the sloop, but many of them fired far too late and hit empty air instead. The sloop was getting away. And then the captain fired his pistol into the air, as if challenging the other ship.

Several moments passed until our target ship turned abruptly to face us once more, hoisting a matching flag of skull and crossbones. The challenge was accepted. The game was now on.

Using the dexterity and easy maneuverability the design of a sloop provided, our enemy headed towards our port side, where many of the cannons were neither loaded nor aimed—as our captain had predicted it would play out.

"Gun crew to portside!" the weaponsmaster ordered. All hands on deck scrambled to portside, but the sloop had beaten us to the chase. Cannon fire erupted from their small vessel—low power but more accurate than most. Of the three cannons that had struck home, one had grazed the mizzenmast, the other punched a hole through the port side railing and the third had found purchase below the sea line.

"Boatswain! Take some of your men to repair the leak in the hold," the first mate ordered sharply. He nodded and hurried below decks to repair the leak, unknowing that a leak of that nature was precisely what the captain had desired. In fact, it was he who had steered the ship at the exact moment of cannon fire to receive that damage. It was a minor amount of damage, yes, but one that feigned weakness.

We reciprocated with a volley of cannon fire of our own, but each time a volley was exchanged, we either seemed to miss or take further damage. I turned to view the captain at his finest at the wheel, a wicked smile across his face as he gently rocked the boat with each volley. It took precision and a deep understanding of both his ship and the nature of the seas at that particular moment to pull a stunt like this.

And I wondered not for the first time—was he mad? We risked losing everything—our ship, our crew, our artillery, and our loot—all in this wild gamble that was now appearing wholly unnecessarily. The rewards from the capture would be handsome—by the expertise of our enemy, I could tell they had at least as much experience at this business as we did—but the game we were playing was a risk that did not need to be undertaken. We had the ability to take this ship by conventional means, which had not even been an option when the plan was proposed. Was this a ploy of the captain's, one that even I could not see through?

And the first mate began to lower the black flag of death, hoisting in its place a pure white flag.

"Hold fire!" the weaponsmaster cried out in confusion at the sight of the white flag of surrender. In all his years—and mine—aboard the Pretear, this ship had never surrendered. We had fled, yes, but never surrendered. The captain's pride would never have suffered it. Until now.

Cannon fire from both ships ceased and an unholy calm fell. It was time for me to step into action.

Grappling hooks were released as the crew from the sloop made their way over to our ship. They were outnumbered, so they remained cautious, sending only an envoy of five aboard the Pretear, while keeping the rest aboard their ship.

"Parley!" I called out, my hands raised in the air in defeat. The gruff man I had addressed—a man whose moustache rivaled my flowing locks—glanced in my direction and asked in rapid fire Spanish, "And who are you to demand parley?"

"My name is Kei, native of Tortuga. I am but a slave aboard this accursed English ship. If you would have me, I would gladly join your crew, to be able to serve the Spanish crown once again," I replied smoothly in Spanish.

He grunted, surprised to hear such fluent Spanish from me.

"From whence did you come? And why should my captain trust you?" he demanded.

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could continue, one of the five placed a hand on the moustache man's shoulder as if to silence him.

"I will not trust you, but you will be the perfect hostage for me. I accept your parley and will allow you to negotiate with me—for yourself or on behalf of your captain," he concluded, ending with a chuckle.

I bowed to the captain in gratitude and followed him aboard his ship.

My hands were bound and the tip of a sword at my back was urging me forward, but otherwise, I was given free reign as I went aboard. I was brought to the captain's cabin and tied to the chair across from the captain. To my delight, we were left alone in that room.

"Speak. I am not a patient man, nor a foolish one. I know the Pretear's reputation; there was no way we so easily conquered her," the captain stated.

"You speak truth, sir. My captain—in his growing madness—thought it would be fun to feign defeat," I answered.

"And you were sent to negotiate peaceful terms while he went behind my back?" the captain hissed.

"Yes. And he predicted you would see through this ruse, and so sent me as an expendable crewmember as his plan went into action," I replied calmly.

"You do not appear to be one who fears for his life," the captain replied.

"No. I have never trusted my captain, nor he I," I remarked, leaving the implication hanging in the air.

The captain remained silent for a moment, stroking his robust beard as he thought.

"Very well. Bring me the head of your captain, and I will consider your position as part of my crew," he stated.

I bowed in acquiescence for the deal. The captain called one of his men—the man with the elaborate moustache I now assumed was the first mate—who cut free my bonds. I supposed he had been listening in to the entire conversation, standing by in case of any sign of treachery.

"You have one day, Kei of Tortuga. Bring me his head by then, or I will sink you along with the rest of the Pretear," he warned.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: The Price of Loyalty

Hayate

I had not liked this plan from the beginning. I thought it ludicrous to trust the success of this mission on a single individual—the second mate and quartermaster of all people. He was certainly more predictable than Sasame, but in that he only acted for his own self-interest. When I tried to probe Sasame's mind, he simply chucked and said that it would be a good test of Kei's loyalty.

Loyalty…

I splashed a handful of cold water from my washbasin, trying to clear my head. The look of fear on her face at my impulsivity contrasted sharply with his satisfaction as I drowned myself in my basest desires—what was I doing? What was it that I wanted?

No. It was not about what I wanted. It was about what duty dictated I needed to do. Sasame was correct; Himeno was becoming too much of a distraction, keeping me from performing my duty as his first mate.

Fear gripped me when Sasame proposed this plan. So much hinged on Kei, whom I had antagonized in an outburst of emotion. Uneasiness filled me as I realized I had endangered not only Sasame, but his precious ship and ambition by the surge of anger I had felt when I had found her.

But I could not condone myself completely; she was a crucial crewmember and Kei had overstepped the bounds of his authority in trying to sell her at Tortuga. The panic I felt when I found her missing, however, had been wholly inappropriate. True, she was an effective boatswain, but—

_No—I was terrified of losing her. She was out of my sight only for the latter part of a day, but I feared the worst. I asked Go to sweep the entire ship to look for her, and when that sweep indicated she was not aboard the ship, I immediately made my way ashore. What would she do for her revenge? Anything—even if it meant compromising her safety. _

_When ashore, I had asked the second mate if he had spoken with the boatswain recently, and he simply held out a finger to point down the line of prisoners. And that was when I saw her, fighting with tooth and claw against the slaver. I felt a sudden rush of anxiety and anger, the likes of which I had not felt in ages, and moved without thinking. _

_I drew my sword and ran it through him—anger coursing through my veins as I did so. Anger at the slaver for touching her, anger at her for putting herself in such a situation, anger at the second mate for trying to sell her and anger at myself for almost being too late to save her._

_I barely registered that I had killed the man who had, until now, completed our transactions without fail at this port. Trivial matters like that did not seem to matter now—not with her in such peril. I pulled my sword from him, and sheathed it still dripping back into my scabbard so that I could steal her away from here as quickly as possible. _

"_Hayate," she said hoarsely, relief flooding her features when she saw me. But I could see my anger frightened her as well. She was trembling and all I wanted to do then was take her back to my cabin and seal her away. To keep her as mine alone. _

"_Hayate, I…" she said weakly. I fought with myself, afraid of this sudden desire to monopolize her that washed over me and simply replied, "Don't speak."_

_The very sound of her voice grated inside of me. The sound of it echoed pain, and I couldn't stand that I had been so careless; I couldn't stand to see her so frightened, hurt and so close to getting… _

_Blinded in fury, I registered nothing until I had closed my cabin door. She was safe—that was what mattered. That was all that should have mattered. But it wasn't enough. Whatever her reasons—whatever the circumstance—the danger she had put herself in—_

"_What the hell were you doing?" I managed through gritted teeth. _

_And the tough woman who had fought the slaver melted away and revealed the frightened girl underneath. And in her frightened eyes, I held a glimpse of another precious woman's fear. The fear that had destroyed her…Not again. No. Never again. I would destroy anything that threatened to take this away from me. She was mine. Mine alone. _

_I slammed my fist against wall as I thought of the many things I wished to do to the quartermaster. How dare he threaten her safety? How dare he try to take her away from me? She was mine—mine—mine—_

_I would consume her and make her mine once and for all. I felt her soft lips coated with her salty tears and almost growled in pleasure. I had wanted this since the first moment I had seen her, her eyes flashing with determination as she dared to take the Pretear. The woman who had the audacity—and the sheer idiocy—to exact her revenge on her own ignited something within me that was changing me. She held something within her I wanted—desired—so strongly. _

_And then I felt her tremble and go still as if enduring the moment until it ended. I quickly tore myself away, horrified at myself at my lack of control, lack of sensitivity to her feelings and lack of regard to her own wishes._

_In that instant I understood Sasame's desire to possess without regard to anything else and was horrified to see it within myself. This was not the man I wished to be. This was not what Himeno deserved. I turned away from her, averting my gaze. I could not look her in the eye now. I could not face the look of betrayal she would undoubtedly possess. _

"_I need to have a word with the second mate. Stay put and don't do anything stupid," I said in a curt voice, trying to keep my self-disgust contained within me. _

_I needed to get out of here. I needed to release my anger—and my unbridled desire—elsewhere where it would not injure her. _

Which is precisely what I did a little over a month ago. I confronted the second mate—and possibly compromising this mission—and seduced Sasame—no doubt endangering Himeno by raising suspicion in his mind. I kept my distance from the boatswain, trying to repent in the small way I could for my moment of impulse. I was concerned for her ankle, which seemed to be the only major injury she had suffered from the incident. So I left bandages for her and small doses of opium to dull the pain, but nothing more.

I was only doing my duty as first mate to ensure the fitness of the crew so that they could continue their duties aboard this ship. Nothing more.

But Kei—his insubordination in his decision regarding the boatswain was nothing to scoff at. I kept a close watch on him from then on. While I agreed with Sasame that his skills made him a worthy asset, he was like a double-edged sword. And I feared he would use this opportunity to turn on Sasame.

And this plan—I only partially understood why Sasame had wanted to take the risk. In order to ensure success in the final steps towards Sasame's ambition, a second smaller ship—one with speed and maneuverability comparable or greater than the Pretear's—was necessary. And since we were less than a week's sail away from the Mediterranean Sea, the Pretear could afford some minor damage. But we were more than capable of capturing the sloop with minimal damage to either the Pretear or our intended prize using conventional tactics.

Why then risk such damage upon the Pretear? Sasame loved the Pretear since the moment he had claimed her as his own. When the serpent attacked, I sensed his anger at the creature for daring to harm his ship. Why then would he willingly endanger her? What could possibly be more important to him than his ship and his ambition?

And why then take the risk of putting everything into Kei's hands? Was Sasame confident of Kei's loyalty? Or was he confident of his own ability to succeed even if Kei turned on him? Or was this merely a fun game for him? We were so close to our goal, and yet…

I shook my head of my musings. I could only stand by my captain now and stay alert for any signs of treachery. As I headed back to Sasame's cabin I nodded in acknowledgement to the small prize crew our current Spanish captors had left aboard the Pretear. I wondered at their confidence at leaving the crew free to roam about. Or perhaps it was because of the fear Sasame's reputation had earned him that they did not dare to be too aggressive?

"Captain?" I said as I knocked on his cabin.

"First mate. Stand by for the quartermaster's return. I will join you shortly," he ordered, his voice carrying through the closed door.

I hesitated. I had wanted to discuss the plan with him separately in an attempt to determine what the true objective of this operation was, but to no avail. Sasame had decided to be as incomprehensible as ever. So I did what I always did. I did my duty.

"Yes sir," I replied after a moment's pause and then turned away to head back to the fo'c'sle to await Kei's return.

I remained at the fo'c'sle, for it gave me an elevated viewpoint from which to observe the sloop. Kei had disappeared into the captain's cabin as soon as he boarded the sloop and had come out mere moments later, but remained aboard the sloop instead of returning to the Pretear immediately after the terms of the parley were discussed. I narrowed my eyes as I saw Kei patrolling through the deck, greeting the officers and crewmembers aboard the ship.

That treacherous bastard! Though I did not expect much better from him given his propensity to act only in his own self-interest, to see him acting so blatantly against Sasame infuriated me. I tightened the grip on my saber.

After the sun had almost gone below the horizon, Kei returned back to the main deck of the Pretear. I watched him carefully, eyes narrowed in suspicion. His usually expressionless face almost looked smug as he made his way over to where Sasame and I stood on deck. What kind of deal had that bastard made?

"Captain," he stated, giving a curt bow to Sasame.

"Welcome back," he replied, almost giving the second mate a warm smile. A smile so warm that it sent shivers down my back.

What are you thinking now, Sasame? His face was like a mask to me; beneath that seemingly warm smile was a layer of ice that even I could not penetrate. Even in all the years I had known him, he was still a stranger to me. As he had been since that day.

_With ice-cold eyes and a blank expression, he looked up at me, neither condoning me for my inaction nor breaking down from the shock of his desperate action. No—there was nothing there. No warmth, no familiarity. Only nothingness in his gaze…_

I turned my gaze back to the second mate who only nodded in response and followed Sasame as he headed back to his cabin. I trailed by silently, every nerve on edge. Sasame…

He sat at the head of his table that was adorned with charts tracing shipping routes, currents and landmarks hosting small figurines of ships on top. Otherwise, the table hosted a single decanter of wine with three glasses. I glanced at Sasame briefly before taking a seat at his right hand side. Kei mirrored my action and took a seat to his left.

Sasame poured three glasses of wine, generously offering a glass to the second mate and another to myself. My eyes narrowed at the gesture. It was not in his nature to offer his services freely. And I did not miss the slight; Kei was offered a glass before I was.

"Shall we toast for our upcoming victory?" Sasame asked, picking up his wine glass delicately by the stem.

I did not like this conversation already. The tension in the pit of my stomach was only growing with each action and each word he uttered. I tightened my grip on the glass's stem.

"Pardon my impertinence, but what of our current situation indicates victory?" Kei inquired in his usual matter-of-fact voice.

"Ah, well that depends on you," Sasame replied evenly.

"What a position of power, Kei mused aloud.

"Indeed," Sasame murmured, taking a sip of wine. I gripped my glass so tightly that it shattered in my hand.

"What a waste of good wine," Sasame remarked.

I surveyed my hand; red wine mixed with the blood the shattered shards had drawn from my flesh. I watched it absently as it made a puddle of red upon the floor.

"Apologies for the interruption, captain," I muttered. I could sense the hint of smile playing on Kei's lips. I felt an overwhelming urge to hit him that I contained only by clenching my bleeding hand into a fist. The sting of the glass focused me out of my anger and back to the larger issue at hand.

"While the first mate tends to his wounds, I have a question to ask of you, Captain," Kei asked conversationally, allowing his lips to touch the rim of the glass, but not actually drink. I did not miss the gesture and a brief glance towards Sasame confirmed that he did not either. And we both knew what that insinuated; it was bad luck to partake in food or drink with one you were about to cross.

Bloodied as my hand was, I still tightened it around the hilt of my sword. Kei was never one for subtlety when his mind was set, after all. But why all the deliberation?

"Ask away," Sasame said, now looking—at least on the surface—positively bored.

"How much are you willing to pay to keep me from separating your head from your shoulders?" the bastard asked coolly, giving a half glance towards the head of the sea serpent adorning Sasame's cabin. Before he had even finished his mutinous question, I had drawn my sword and held the tip not so subtly near his neck.

"You will die for your insolence!" I hissed, shaking with rage. Why was Sasame tolerating this kind of behavior from his quartermaster? Where was his unshakable authority now of all times?

"If you believe yourself capable of killing me…" Kei began, merely holding up the back of his hand against my blade as if to push it away as a trifling nuisance.

"Now, now gentlemen, I would prefer no bloodshed in my cabin," Sasame drawled, taking a sip from his wine glass as he observed us.

He was enjoying this! Of all the games to play, of all the times to engage in this kind of 'fun'! I shot Sasame a look of incredulous rage, which he returned with a cool gaze of masterful superiority. I sheathed my sword and sat back down, seething at my current situation.

"Am I correct, Kei, in assuming that the deal made from the parley was to obtain my head?" Sasame asked while helping himself a slice of the pig.

"Quite so," Kei replied.

Kei's expression was as impassable as usual as he swirled the wine around in his glass. I remained abstinent from drinking, though Sasame had graciously offered me another glass, in case I needed to act on short notice to protect Sasame from his own game. I was reminded sharply of the mutiny he had allowed to occur and wondered what his objective was this time—allowing Kei to have greater influence was far more dangerous than the influence Himeno and Go had managed to gather for the mutiny. Was it the rush that such brushes with danger provided that Sasame truly desired?

"And your decision?" Sasame asked with an air of almost complete disinterest.

"I believe you already know what that is, Captain," Kei countered evenly.

A moment's silence. I stood again, poised to attack at the slightest provocation from Kei.

"First mate, your thoughts?" Sasame asked, tilting his face up to meet my gaze. It was almost as if he was asking something else beneath his seemingly simple question. But what? And why go to such lengths to ask something of me?

"With all due respect, Captain, I do not trust the second mate's intentions," I replied.

"Very well. Since we have completed dinner, you gentlemen are welcome to have a go at each other. If you are successful, Kei, you are welcome to do as you please," Sasame concluded, dabbing the corner of his mouth.

My eyes widened slightly in surprise. The captain was authorizing a duel—aboard the ship no less? It defied the code; it defied logic. I watched Sasame carefully as he rose and headed out to the main deck. I followed him, my attention split between trailing him and keeping a sharp eye on Kei for any foul play.

But my worries were groundless for no such foul play came. We arrived onto the main deck with Kei almost nonchalantly strolling about as if this were only another task in his long list of duties for the day. And for him, I supposed, even a mutinous desire to take his captain's head was just another monotonous task.

Sasame theatrically poised himself on the main deck, arms outstretched and his cape flying behind him as he announced the terms of the duel to both our crew and the prize crew from the sloop that were aboard.

"The duel between First Mate Hayate and Second Mate Kei shall commence forthwith till one is unable to fight. As Captain of the Pretear, I shall stand as judge to fairly assess this duel. Duelists, present yourselves and state your terms!" Sasame declared with Kei translating for the benefit of the prize crew.

"My terms are the following: upon my victory, I hold the right to face the Captain in a duel," Kei announced once in English and then again in Spanish.

"With my victory, I hold the right to banish the second mate from the Pretear," I announced.

Though I hoped to kill the bastard during our duel, I gave myself another option to rid myself of the bastard in case I suddenly felt merciful. Which I was certainly not feeling at the moment. A right to duel with the captain indeed—what a carefully worded request to conceal his mutinous intentions.

"Take your places..." Sasame began.

I viewed my opponent suspiciously; he was holding neither sword nor pistol and was crouched into a street fighter's stance, fists raised in front of his face, legs firm upon the ground. I unsheathed my sword and whipped it in front of me, poised to lunge.

"And begin!"

I thrust forward with my saber, impatient to strike. Strike at the one who dared to endanger everything that I—that I what?

My thrust fell too far to the right and I was wide open. I tried to turn to block the attack that was surely to come, but was too late. I felt the brunt of his attack—his powerful right fist—slam into my jaw. I fell back, panting at the blow that had caught me unawares. In all our mutual years aboard the Pretear, we had neither the need or nor the opportunity to fight one another. I had known he was skilled in fighting with his bare fists and had seen its prowess in many captures, but had underestimated it exceedingly, having never been on its receiving end before.

I snapped back my head reflexively as I heard the whoosh of another attack, missing the kick that would have surely sent me flying overboard. Shit, I was on the defensive already. I needed to focus and find the gap in his defenses.

I let my saber hang loosely by my side and looked at Kei evenly as if to say, 'Come and get me—I'm wide open, second mate.'

He caught my taunting gaze and cocked an eyebrow as if to say, 'Very well, here I come.'

As soon as he began to move towards me, I kept a close eye on his footwork. Solid, yet lacking grace and flexibility. He was most likely self-taught, after all. I pivoted smoothly to the right, letting my footwork take over. When it came to speed, only Sasame could rival me. I balanced myself lightly upon my toes as I danced around Kei. I could sense that he was getting accustomed to my movement for his eyes tracked me closely, so I began to shift my momentum until I was half-swaying in an erratic pattern.

And then he closed his eyes. I lightened my steps so as to avoid making any sound he could track, but it was not enough. He suddenly swung his right arm in a wide sweep, nearly catching me in the chest. I leapt back, saber poised in front of me to block rather than to attack. How had I been so overwhelmingly forced on the defensive? I needed to break his momentum.

Breathing hard, I watched his movements and lunged the moment I saw an opening. My saber tip grazed by his left ear, barely drawing blood. But it was a start. I whipped around and smirked as I saw Kei impatiently flick at his earlobe. And he flashed the same look of disdain that had crossed his face when I had confronted him about the boatswain. That single look—

Roaring, I lunged in again, missing by a wide margin—only to bring the back of my heel in my saber's wake. Kei blocked with his arm, but the damage was done; I felt the impact my blow had made as an easily audible crunch followed the block. Kei continued to act as if all was well, but I saw the way his wrist now dangled out of his control.

But I was not unharmed. My jaw throbbed from where his fist had connected with it, and I could taste blood in my mouth. And my hand was pulsating in pain from the injury I had foolishly inflicted upon myself. I needed to end this quickly, before my pain—and my anger—took control of my senses.

Despite being in pain, the second mate managed to master himself, keeping his face and stance calm and focused. At that moment, I envied his lucidity, his clarity and his ability to act beyond the moment itself. He was one who moved forward, whereas I always looked to the past. Bound by the past.

Gritting my teeth, I leapt forward, feet barely touching the smooth wood of the deck. As the world became a blur around me—Sasame and the rest of the crew falling into nothingness—I moved forward, focused only on my target. That vain, proud, treacherous demon—

As I closed the distance, I struck out, blade whipping furiously. My goal was to hit my target—and hit it I did. Over and over and over again I drew blood. It didn't matter to me that I was using my energy excessively only to make shallow cuts. I was on the offensive at last. And I intended to keep this onslaught going until he fell.

But he did not become second mate of the Pretear by his cunning alone. His endurance—of both body and mind—made him both a formidable ally, and now a formidable foe. He continued to block my attacks with his limbs, protecting his core from my attacks. My attacks were doing no more damage than a crude meat cleaver hacking away at a tough chunk of meat. I was only slicing away slivers that amounted to nothing.

And I had exhausted myself with my attacks. As I began to slow down from exertion, Kei took his chance. He swept his leg powerfully towards me while balancing upon his one unbroken hand. He caught my arm and sent my saber flying out of my grasp. I fell back, eyes focused on my saber that now lay on the opposite end of the deck.

Very well, Kei, I can play with fists as well. Though I preferred not to, since it was a crude manner of fighting that reminded me too strongly of my years surviving on the streets. I clenched my currently non-bleeding hand into a fist and rushed forward to attack.

And I let myself go. The anger that I had felt at his nonchalance regarding Himeno and the anger that I had felt at his insinuations at mutiny against Sasame poured into my attack.

My fist landed smack into his open palm, as if he had been anticipating me. He clenched his hand around my fist, holding my quivering fist at bay. The muscles in my arms tensed. I wanted to break through his wall and strike. I would not back down. I brought my other hand into a fist and brought it hard onto his jaw. He released me and fell back as I rushed over to reclaim my saber.

In that moment, as I raced away from him, I saw how his determination and strength was affecting both the crew of the Pretear and the prize crew. He was earning their respect. I could tell from the way their eyes followed his form—filled with envy at his prowess and a more subtle fear.

I couldn't let his influence spread any further. I leapt up into the rigging and knew that Kei would not let the opportunity to follow me pass. Saber hilt in mouth, I climbed higher until I reached the crow's nest. I watched Kei scramble faster towards me, but I was not worried. I had the advantage of height and stable footing. I cut the rigging, sending him flailing for moments until he leapt down.

I smirked in triumph as I heard the unmistakable crunch of his leg as he landed hard upon deck. This fight was over. I anchored myself to the main sail with my blade and ripped my way back down to the deck. I hoped Sasame would overlook the damage I had done out of necessity. I looked down at Kei, who was still struggling to get to his feet, unwilling to admit defeat.

And then the point of my sword was mere inches away from his neck. He looked up at me, glaring at me as if daring to finish the job. And I wanted to—Himeno's fear and Sasame's condescending yet questioning gaze flashed through my mind—but something was staying my hand. I was hesitating, now of all times?

I glanced down at the hand that held my saber. It was trembling, rivulets of blood flowing down from my palm down the length of the blade until little droplets landed onto Kei's skin. In that moment, I saw that he had seen it. He had seen the sliver of weakness that was cracking through my exterior. And that knowledge he now held could be my undoing.

I tensed my arm, about to thrust the blade into his vulnerable neck, when Sasame announced the end of the duel, staying my hand. Sasame was being quite forgiving today, I thought darkly, flicking my saber to the side and returning it to its scabbard.

"As per the terms of the duel, Second Mate Kei is hereby banished from the Pretear!" Sasame announced.

Kei got to his feet and coolly made his way back to the sloop, the prize crew following him closely to ensure no harm came to him. What a sudden burst of loyalty towards one they had known for so little a time. I turned to see Sasame, positively beaming as if his success was now completely ensured. When I cocked an eyebrow towards him in confusion, he signaled with a tilt of his neck to follow him.

I trailed behind him silently to his cabin. The moment his door closed, Sasame knelt in front of me, his lips upon my injured hand. I gazed at him in shock.

"Sasame?" I asked, suddenly frightened of his unusual behavior.

"My shining knight in armor," he murmured, rising up from his knelt position while cradling my hand in his.

"Sasame?" I asked again, half wanting to take my hand out of his.

He said nothing in reply, but instead turned my hand palm up and began to remove the shards from my hand. I hissed as the glass shards were shifted out of my flesh. As he disinfected my hand with alcohol and tenderly wrapped my hand with a cloth, he seemed practically ecstatic.

"Sasame…what in the devil's name…" I began, my impatience getting the better of my unease.

"Oh, everything went exactly as planned, my sweet," Sasame said, his voice dripping with honey. He caressed my cheek with his hand as he leaned in to give me a light peck on the lips.

What had happened to him? I licked my lips and did not taste the hint of opium to explain his elated mood. I frowned in return, waiting for him to provide an explanation.

"Don't you see…this capture is as well as done!" Sasame exclaimed, nearly giggling.

"What do you…" I began and then stopped mid-sentence.

I realized what a fool I had been. Kei never had any intention to take the Pretear from Sasame. He was one who always weighed risks and benefits, and turning against Sasame contained far more risk than potential benefit at this juncture. In his own way, he respected Sasame's ability and knew it was in his best interests to follow him for future profit and benefit.

His true goal was the loyalty of the prize crew—so that he could capture the sloop and gain his profit. He was not one to squander the larger prize that lay at the end of this journey, after all. And by losing his match with me, he would be given the perfect opportunity to capture the sloop, gaining a larger share of the prize for his efforts.

Sasame watched my expression change as the realization hit me; this seemingly huge gamble was no gamble at all in his eyes. Kei acted exactly as he had expected.

"But why?" I asked simply.

"Why indeed? Wasn't this a fun game?" Sasame replied, nuzzling my earlobe with his lips.

"Risking the Pretear…risking what we've worked for together for years…all for the thrill of a game?!" I hissed, moving away from his attentions in sudden anger.

"Do you think of me in such a petty way?" Sasame asked coyly. I clenched my jaw to hold back my retort. I did not know when his mood would shift and I did not wish to tempt fate.

"Have I made you angry? Know that everything I did I did for you," Sasame drawled, bringing his lips close to mine. I turned my face aside, half-sickened by his almost subservient manner.

"You had been acting so strangely of late, I needed to confirm," he explained, running a finger across my throbbing jaw.

"Confirm what?" I asked, my eyes narrowing.

"Would you rush to my aid when my safety was threatened? Or would you use the chance to take advantage of my vulnerability?" Sasame asked, a strange expression crossing his face.

And I found myself looking into the lonely eyes of a lost little boy, abandoned and far from home and desperate to know whom he could trust. I wrapped him into my arms to tell him he was safe; I would not throw him aside or abandon him. Not now and not ever. I kissed the crown of his head and held him close. All these years and at his core he had not changed.

I would not betray that trust.

"Of course I would always fight for you. You needn't put your Pretear in such peril to simply determine that," I murmured.

He broke the embrace I held him in and crashed his lips onto mine, kissing me with such urgency and yet tenderness I was once again caught off guard. I returned his fervor with some hesitancy. I wanted to ensure the safety of the Pretear and the capture of the sloop before drowning myself in pleasure with him.

"The…sloop…capture…" I managed. He pulled back, his look of condescension now firmly back on his face.

"Always so conscientious, first mate," he snapped, clearly irritated at the interruption.

He headed out of his cabin without another glance and I followed him silently, hoping the capture had proceeded without a hitch. I shivered at the thought of the price Sasame had paid simply to test my loyalty—the Pretear, his capable second mate, his ambition and possibly his own life.

The horror at the extent of Sasame's games left my mind as soon as I saw the scene on deck. Almost all of the crewmembers of the Pretear, along with some of the crew from the sloop stood in a ring. Sasame crossed his arms and indicated for me to make a path through the men. I whipped my saber out and the sound alone caused the men to turn—and hastily make a path for their captain.

And there it lay, not feet away from where the sea serpent's head had lain. A head, removed from its body, still oozing fresh blood onto the deck sat beside a note. Sasame picked up the note and after a quick glance, chuckled and threw the piece of parchment at me.

_Head of the Captain. Secured sloop, its prizes and crew. I remain aboard awaiting further orders. _

_- Kei_

"Celebrations are in order for the capture of the sloop by our second mate!" Sasame announced, accompanied by cheers from the men.

"If you would be so kind as to deliver this message to him," Sasame stated, handing me a second piece of parchment.

_Good work. Stay aboard the sloop as its captain. Follow Pretear's course. _

_ -Captain Sasame_

"And do try not to fight again," Sasame teased. I nodded curtly and headed over to the sloop, relieved now that this insensible game was over.


End file.
